Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Centurial Dreams Destroyed

For those of you concerned with such things, Ryan Zimmerman made sure that the Mets will not treat triple digits in win total, as his three run double lead the Nationals to a 7-3 victory.

I had my crack staff check this out, and they came up with the following conclusions:
  1. One hundred victories does not ensure a home game for Game 7 of the World Series.
  2. One hundred victories will not change anybody's mind about whether the Mets will actually win the World Series. In other words, the "haters" will fail to be impressed.
  3. One hundred victories will not, I repeat, will not raise the odds of you or me winning the random drawing for NLCS tickets.

That last item is really the only thing I care about right now, so you'll forgive me for being selfish.

On to the mailbag:

Metstradamus, does tonight's outing by Tom Glavine concern you? And do I have a chance of being on the Mets postseason roster? -M.Glavine
No. And no.

Metstradamus, I feel your defense of Steve Trachsel is misguided and that you have no idea what you're talking about. There are plenty of pitchers on the Mets staff more qualified to start in the postseason than Trachsel. -J.Maine
Like who?

'Damus, how meaningful are the next six games? -W.Randolph
Mr. Randolph, they are meaningful enough to play the starting lineup, and to manage as if the calendar reads "October". I hope you...I mean, Willie Randolph heeds my advice.

Metstradamus,

Your team stinks, your blog stinks, and Luke Skywalker is a little wuss.
-D. Marc
Somebody's watching "Empire Strikes Back" deleted scenes again.

Soothsayer,

What do you feel that Pedro most needs to make it through the postseason?
-N. de la Rosa
Health, about five more mph on his heater, and perhaps a good luck charm.

Metstradamus, how will Willie Randolph decide who takes the last bench spot for October? J.Franco, Flushing
Tucker...Milledge...Steel cage. (To be held on the Monday after the season if there's a tie.)

Metstra,

Doesn't the Mets recent lack of success against lefthanders concern you?
-X.Nady, Pittsburgh
What concerns me more is who will be responsible for keeping the shoelaces and the sharp objects away from you during the month of October.

Metstradamus,

Don't you have some sort of connections to get playoff tickets?
-concerned reader
That is a widely held misconception held by the American public at this time.

You mean to tell me that the so called "Great Metstradamus" can't get his sorry ass into Shea Stadium in October? You're pathetic! -same concerned reader
Concerned reader, to paraphrase the great Keyshawn Johnson: if you hate Metstradamus, you hate yourself.
Well if you get them, can I come too? -same concerned reader
Nice try.

8 comments:

j m said...

Mestradamus,

If you were on base in the World Series and were pretty sure the ball was going out, would you bother running?

-Timoniel

stephen said...

Dear Mestradamus,

As a huge Elton John fan, I recently purchased his new CD (which is his best in quite a while) and there is a great song on it called Tinderbox. The lyric begins with a reference to Nostradamus and, silly me, I thought of your blog. I thought I'd be ambitious and write a parody of the lyric for you called "Champion"

Metsradamus said listen son,
The NY Mets will be champions,
What he didn't say was exactly when.
Would it be against the Minny team?
Would it be against the Bronx machine?

It doesn't matter when anyway,
'Cause we've been a hot team right through today,
Comeback victories are our stock in trade.
We've been coasting on a winning streak,
We'll be kings of the baseball world.

Chorus:
We've been playing like a champion,
25 sparks setting the whole thing off,
Playing all together around the clock,
When we're on our game we really rock,
You and me rooting for a champion!

Godzilla came in disquise,
As a Japanese hitter in blue pinstripes,
His Yankees want to puncture our balloon,
But that ain't gonna happen this year,
Unlike the millenium we have no fear.

When all is said and done,
It will Wright and Reyes having fun,
Even Willie R will crack a smile,
We'll be parading up and down Broadway,
There go the champions, they all will say,
And then we'll do it again next year...

Chorus:
We've been playing like a champion,
25 sparks setting the whole thing off,
Playing all together around the clock,
When we're on our game we really rock,
You and me rooting for a champion!

The Mad Ranter said...

Oh Metsradamus:

Against a RIGHTY pitcher making his second start, EXPERIENCED Mets hitters showed terrific warning- track power. With a runner on 3rd and less than 2 outs, St. DWright V(the 23-year-old guy who get his jollies hanging out at the NYSE) popped up weakly with a chance for the team to get into the game (can't he lunge the ball to leftfield like he did before the AS game $1500/seat hustle and HR Derby Mistake?). In the last 6 games I've gone to at Shea, a rainout was the best (sorry--was having a smoke when Leedee hit that Nate Colbert-like shot outta the park); otherwise, the Mets couldn't get a clutch hit, bunt, or sacrifice fly to save their lives. The middle relievers are starting to get chipped at, and Wagner is getting cold from non-save ops. Is this the World's Longest Pre- and Post-Clinchin' Hangover, or have they passively exposed their weaknesses to weak teams--who can EXPLOIT them at will? And will the stronger weak teams do???
And have I spent $365 for playoff tix to potentially just watch 3-hour war recruitment ads on Diamond Vision?

j m said...

Metstradamus,

Do you think it's funny when people try to insult you with not-exactly-clever-but-still-
amusing-in-a-weird-way parodies of your internet handle?

-Metstradumbass

Anonymous said...

Metstra..
Funny as usual.
Mike Glavine! I love it! The One Hit Wonder!

Jose Lima said...

I'm on the team and I can't even get tickets...hey, what's that? I'm not on the team? Since when?

Metstradamus said...

Stephen,

That's one hell of an effort. I'm going to remember this one.

stephen said...

Metstradamus, thanks for your comment. Go get the new Elton John CD, you'll love the song and perhaps appreciate the parody even more. ;)