Sunday, April 25, 2010

Stimulus Splinter

When last we left Ralph Kiner, he was comparing Fernando Martinez to Ted Williams.

On Saturday, Kiner was at it again ... comparing Ike Davis to Ted Williams during the SNY broadcast.

So let me get this straight, we have not one, but two Splendid Splinters in the New York Mets organization? Wow! Get that Canyon of Heroes ready for the next hundred years!

(The bad news is that in the parking lot after the game, Kiner told a fan that Frank Catalanotto, Alex Cora, Dillon Gee, his goldfish, and fagiolini rigati all reminded him of Ted Williams.)

But the fact remains, Davis has come up and been involved with five wins and only one loss with the Mets. The Stimulus has batted .350, cleared the bullpen with a home run, saved Snoop Manuel's job, fixed Oliver Perez's control, used mind tricks on Yunel Escobar, ended Jason Bay's slump, turned Henry Blanco into Rickey Henderson, optimized the batting lineup, and made Larry Jones drop that infield fly on Friday. All that's left for Davis to do now is put more Mets pictures on the walls of the ballpark, revamp the tiered pricing system, and end poverty and hunger in the inner cities. Who says he can't do it? He already has the Ted Williams swing down. The rest should be easy.

6 comments:

G-Fafif said...

At least Jonathon Niese doesn't remind anybody of Dave Williams.

RamblingBoy said...

Hey - lay off of Kiner.

Unser said...

Heh heh.

Can he also do something about the ridiculous price for parking?

Anonymous said...

Goto http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ralph_Kiner and see why he deserves a pass on the whole "Ted Williams" rant of yours, not to mention he's almost 90 years old. Lets see what you're like when you reach that age.

850 said...

In Kiner's defense, he did have an awesome line yesterday. When Pagan lost a fly ball to center in the sun and the scorer gave Glaus a gift double, Gary Cohen asked if that should have been scored an error. Kiner said well it depends on where you're playing. If you're playing in Little League, then it should be a double.

Metstradamus said...

Really? A Wikipedia link? Like I don't know how old Ralph Kiner is? Please. If anything, Ralph is sharper now than he ever was. Satire, boys & girls.