Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Good, The Bad, And The Certifiable

Simple. Ready:
  • The Mets are good.
  • The Nationals are bad.
  • Elijah Dukes is insane.
And not the good kind of insane like Carlos Delgado's been for the Mets lately. No, Elijah Dukes is that special kind of crazy. Look, here are my simple rules for anger management at the plate:
  • If you feel that a pitch hurled your way had the intent of ending your life, or costing you money come contract time by breaking an important bone, then by all means ... charge the mound and get down.
  • If it's not quite that bad, then shut up and get in the batters box for the next pitch.
It really is that simple. Stop with this bat wagging "I'm gonna get you" staredowns, especially if the pitch comes inside and doesn't even hit you. Like I always say: Don't sing it, bring it. But no, Dukes apparently goes to the Cody Ross school of solving disputes and is willing to let someone get in front of him before he gets tough. And it's not like Dukes is 5'9" like Ross is ... in fact, Dukes could floss with the treehouse that Ross lives in since Dukes is like, six foot twelve. But apparently as a general rule, he doesn't fight anyone taller than Cody Ross.

But giving the "crotch chop" to fans in the stands for booing him is fair game. Nice job, X-Pac. You may stand tall, but you still have to stand on your toes to get a peek at fourth place ... so make a chant out of that with the rest of your softball girls.

And don't think it's a coincidence that after Dukes had to be calmed down like an overactive child for five minutes, Pelfrey all of a sudden couldn't find his game ... no doubt thrown out of rhythm by Elijah's little hissyfit. Luckily he withstood the Nationals' ongoing "dead cat bounce" and escaped the game after five innings with a 7-5 lead. But then ...

"You know, it's getting really f***ing expensive to keep throwing gasoline on all these fires."

When you come into a game, walk the leadoff batter, and then let the likes of Emilio Bonifacio have ten pitch at-bats off you, you are asking for trouble. I mean, Emilio Bonifacio is just Michael Bourn with a higher average and a cooler name, and Aaron Heilman's nibbling? Nibbling??!? Heilman would then proceed to give up a bomb to Cristian Guzman and couldn't even finish the sixth inning.

And I'll maintain that Heilman was only in the game tonight because the pen was extended a bit Tuesday night and that Pelfrey couldn't get himself to the sixth (probably because the Mets didn't want to extend him in another Nats/Mets slugfest.) Snoop Manuel has been reluctant to put Heilman into key spots lately, and that mistrust ... along with ten pitch at-bats to Emilio Bonifacio and bombs to Cristian Guzman ... is going to wind up keeping Heilman off the postseatson roster (and cinch the Manager of the Year award for Manuel). Store that in your mind's Rolodex.

(Editor's note: If that's the case, why haven't we seen Al Reyes yet ... just for a look?)

But once again, the Mets had the bat out again for 13 runs in their 13-10 win (they would have kicked that other extra point but, you know ... Mike Nugent was hurt), helped out by the fact that Lastings Milledge was playing center field somewhere on Parsons Blvd. and base hit after base hit in the seventh inning was falling in front of him (not to mention Guzman's error which went into center field where it took Carlos Beltran five seconds to realize the ball was in center ... and still had time to go to third because Milledge was playing Daniel Murphy to hit it to the chop shops.)

And kudos to David Wright not only for going 4-for-4 and smacking a dinger to give the Mets breathing room in the 8th, but for wearing his cape in the sixth and coming from nowhere to field Wil Nieves' topper off Joe Smith's glove in the seventh and bare-handing the play to nail him. To me, easily ... Wright's highlight of the night. Considering he had three sparklers and four hits, that's saying something.

***

Thursday is an off-day in Metland ... but the Phillies and Brewers kick off a super-cool four game set that either brings the Phillies close to the wild card, or knocks them out of the box completely. So here's what I'm thinking: If you guys ... you loyal readers ... want it, I'll put together a live blog of the Phillies/Brewers game so that instead of following it on Yahoo! or something, we can have a little Internet party here on the blog and have some fun following the enemy. I'm usually not feeling a live blog for a Mets game ... you're all watching it anyway, typing would be a waste of time for you. But for an out of town game, maybe you want a different and strange way of following it. So why not follow it here?

So for you guys that don't have the MLB package, or even for you guys who do, and are into this, just give me a "hell yeah" in the comment section, and if there's enough yes votes, I'll set it up and we'll make an appointment for a 7:00 enemy live blog right here. The ball's in your court.

20 comments:

MetFanMac said...

First I thought your Dukes/Ross comparison was an instant classic.

Then I read the picture caption...

:-D
ROFLMAO, to use a hackneyed but well-deserved phrase!



(I can't have any say one way or another about the "live blog" because I live in a different time zone.)

Michael said...

time zones be damned...I'll be here.

Michael said...

time zones be damned...I'll be here.

Anonymous said...

Live blog please!

Charley said...

i'll be here if you do it.

Anonymous said...

Hell Yes...

tim said...

MLB Package?! I don't even have cable, HELL YEAH!

Dukes is just pissed because he could be playing right field for the first place Tampa Bay Rays if only for the fact that he is a collosal dickhead.

Unser said...

I saw something in Newsday that the Mets' brass was quite unimpressed with Al Reyes in his few stints in the minors. Don't expect to see him unless there's extensive garbage time . . . or everyone else implodes.

And, hell yeah, why not. I'm watching my 2 year old tonight . . .

Did I hear that Dukes has fathered 5 kids with 4 different women since 2003? And that the Nats hired an ex-police officer to serve as his parole officer for the seasons? Yikes . . .

Rickey Henderson said...

Live blog, you say? Rickey's in. What wondrous blog fairies allow for this sort of thing to transpire?

Anonymous said...

hell yeah!

Anonymous said...

hell yeah

linus balling said...

hells yeah

Marco said...

hell yeah! Hope to stay awake as far as the 4th inning since it'll start at 1 a.m. my time!

dantheman said...

hell yeah!

Anonymous said...

hell yeah

Metstradamus said...

All right, you've spoken ... 7:00, right here. I'll have it set up ahead of time but we'll be ready to go at about 7:00. Spread the word.

Anonymous said...

Definitely yes for the live blog. I can't wait.

Plus, I kinda expected you to say something witty about--or at least address--the fact that the last out of the game last night was made by Anderson Hernandez off of Luis Ayala. Weird, right?

weesle909 said...

I'll try to join, but only if we can refer to him as Elijah Douche from now on...

John from Cincy said...

will be here in a heartbeat watching the game...extra innings is awesome

John said...

hell yeah