The Good, The Bad, And The Certifiable

Simple. Ready:

• The Mets are good.
• The Nationals are bad.
• Elijah Dukes is insane.

And not the good kind of insane like Carlos Delgado's been for the Mets lately. No, Elijah Dukes is that special kind of crazy. Look, here are my simple rules for anger management at the plate:

• If you feel that a pitch hurled your way had the intent of ending your life, or costing you money come contract time by breaking an important bone, then by all means ... charge the mound and get down.
• If it's not quite that bad, then shut up and get in the batters box for the next pitch.

It really is that simple. Stop with this bat wagging "I'm gonna get you" staredowns, especially if the pitch comes inside and doesn't even hit you. Like I always say: Don't sing it, bring it. But no, Dukes apparently goes to the Cody Ross school of solving disputes and is willing to let someone get in front of him before he gets tough. And it's not like Dukes is 5'9" like Ross is ... in fact, Dukes could floss with the treehouse that Ross lives in since Dukes is like, six foot twelve. But apparently as a general rule, he doesn't fight anyone taller than Cody Ross.

But giving the "crotch chop" to fans in the stands for booing him is fair game. Nice job, X-Pac. You may stand tall, but you still have to stand on your toes to get a peek at fourth place ... so make a chant out of that with the rest of your softball girls.

And don't think it's a coincidence that after Dukes had to be calmed down like an overactive child for five minutes, Pelfrey all of a sudden couldn't find his game ... no doubt thrown out of rhythm by Elijah's little hissyfit. Luckily he withstood the Nationals' ongoing "dead cat bounce" and escaped the game after five innings with a 7-5 lead. But then ...

"You know, it's getting really f***ing expensive to keep throwing gasoline on all these fires."

When you come into a game, walk the leadoff batter, and then let the likes of Emilio Bonifacio have ten pitch at-bats off you, you are asking for trouble. I mean, Emilio Bonifacio is just Michael Bourn with a higher average and a cooler name, and Aaron Heilman's nibbling? Nibbling??!? Heilman would then proceed to give up a bomb to Cristian Guzman and couldn't even finish the sixth inning.

And I'll maintain that Heilman was only in the game tonight because the pen was extended a bit Tuesday night and that Pelfrey couldn't get himself to the sixth (probably because the Mets didn't want to extend him in another Nats/Mets slugfest.) Snoop Manuel has been reluctant to put Heilman into key spots lately, and that mistrust ... along with ten pitch at-bats to Emilio Bonifacio and bombs to Cristian Guzman ... is going to wind up keeping Heilman off the postseatson roster (and cinch the Manager of the Year award for Manuel). Store that in your mind's Rolodex.

(Editor's note: If that's the case, why haven't we seen Al Reyes yet ... just for a look?)

But once again, the Mets had the bat out again for 13 runs in their 13-10 win (they would have kicked that other extra point but, you know ... Mike Nugent was hurt), helped out by the fact that Lastings Milledge was playing center field somewhere on Parsons Blvd. and base hit after base hit in the seventh inning was falling in front of him (not to mention Guzman's error which went into center field where it took Carlos Beltran five seconds to realize the ball was in center ... and still had time to go to third because Milledge was playing Daniel Murphy to hit it to the chop shops.)

And kudos to David Wright not only for going 4-for-4 and smacking a dinger to give the Mets breathing room in the 8th, but for wearing his cape in the sixth and coming from nowhere to field Wil Nieves' topper off Joe Smith's glove in the seventh and bare-handing the play to nail him. To me, easily ... Wright's highlight of the night. Considering he had three sparklers and four hits, that's saying something.

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Thursday is an off-day in Metland ... but the Phillies and Brewers kick off a super-cool four game set that either brings the Phillies close to the wild card, or knocks them out of the box completely. So here's what I'm thinking: If you guys ... you loyal readers ... want it, I'll put together a live blog of the Phillies/Brewers game so that instead of following it on Yahoo! or something, we can have a little Internet party here on the blog and have some fun following the enemy. I'm usually not feeling a live blog for a Mets game ... you're all watching it anyway, typing would be a waste of time for you. But for an out of town game, maybe you want a different and strange way of following it. So why not follow it here?

So for you guys that don't have the MLB package, or even for you guys who do, and are into this, just give me a "hell yeah" in the comment section, and if there's enough yes votes, I'll set it up and we'll make an appointment for a 7:00 enemy live blog right here. The ball's in your court.

What The Doctor Ordered

Trust me, it's not that victory over the Washington Nationals is ever assumed (remember last September?) It's just that when your team is coming off of a three game losing streak headed to face a team that's 6-15 going in, with your very bestest ace pitcher on the mound, a loss would have been pretty gosh darn inexcusable.

However, when that very bestest ace pitcher (you know him as Johan Santana) gives up a two run double to the opposing pitcher (you may know that guy as Tim Redding), you may have gotten the feeling that inexcusable was about to become unavoidable. But then it took a teaspoon of that good ol' Washington tonic in the sixth inning to settle our stomachs.

You might know its ingredients: 35% Ryan Zimmerman throwing error which brought home Carlos Beltran from first base, 30% Ray King chucking the ball at Angel Pagan's feet on his RBI single to bring home Ryan Church. And 35% Wil Nieves failing to throw out Pagan as he swiped second and third which was key as he scored from third on Brian Schneider's ground out.

It all goes down smooth with a chaser of seven innings from Santana, who has reached the magic number four times in five starts (the other start was six and 2/3's), and results in a 7-2 victory. The two run double was merely a bitter aftertaste, but those usually go away ... especially when Santana also goes and gets two doubles to counteract that aftertaste. The only thing is that the medicine has a side effect ... it reminds you that with those two doubles, Santana now has a batting average which is only one point behind Carlos Beltran.

(If the Nationals were still the Montreal Expos, this medicine would come a lot cheaper. Damn you Canadians and your superior and affordable health care!)

***

Peripheral side note: You've just read career post number 1,000. I just had a ceremony where I presented myself with a pile of blank computer paper and an old calculator. My cat fell asleep halfway through my acceptance speech. It was that good. I got emotional and teared up (the cat missed the best part).