Smart? Or Cheap?

Don't worry ... there's plenty of winter left for the Mets to screw things up. But I have to briefly come to their defense.

It was counterproductive in the winter of 2006 to let go of Chad Bradford, who was a huge part of the Mets bullpen when the team won the N.L. East. Since then, the bullpen has gone downhill. But bringing back Bradford, who the Mets have had chances to return here whether it be last season's trade deadline, or this offseason, isn't going to help.

Besides the fact that having two submarine pitchers on the team is a little redundant, Bradford is the type of pitcher the Mets already have way too many of ... that is to say: another pitcher who's tough on righties, and brutal against the opposite side. (Look at his splits if you don't believe me.) On a team that has relievers who can pitch to anyone (like the Mets had in '06 or the Rays had in '08) Bradford serves a purpose. But put him in the Mets bullpen last season, his value would have been limited at best, and most likely another in a long line of pitching changes Snoop Manuel would have had to make last September. Yeah, Bradford would have been a better option than, say, Aaron Heilman, ooooooor ... Al Reyes. But he wasn't what that bullpen needed last season, and he's not what they need going forward unless the Mets decide they have to trade Joe Smith to significantly upgrade their team.

What does bother me is the rationale that is floating around out there that Bradford was "out of their price range".

"The Rays offered Chad Bradford to the Mets because $3.5 million is too much in Tampa's world for a set-up man, and Ray officials were shocked when the Mets told them it is too much for them, as well."

Combined with the "we're scared off by the Yankees and the Red Sox" quote regarding Derek Lowe, that blurb regarding Bradford makes the Mets look frugal ... like they're about to sell us Shane Spencer and Karim Garcia all over again. Hopefully, what the Mets really meant was that Bradford cost too much for them in relation to what he provides. Conversely, I'm hoping that what they meant with Lowe was that the Yankees and the Red Sox would surely overpay for Derek Lowe, making him the next prime candidate to be Kevin Brown or Carl Pavano. That, I can deal with.

But if the Yankees and Red Sox have indeed scared the Mets away from Lowe, and Derek winds up signing with the Phillies (apparently they're not so scared of the big bad Yankees and Red Sox), then Omar Minaya will have folded with an inside straight against an opponent with two pairs. You keep doing that in Vegas you'll lose your shirt.

Where are the winter meetings again?

S.O.B. (Save Our Bullpen)

I'm hearing through the grapevine that after today's loss to the Braves featuring yet another bullpen meltdown, that Jeff Wilpon is currently drafting a letter to Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson to ask him for one of those government bailouts that he's been handing out lately.

You know, during Saturday night's game, Gary Cohen speculated on the amount of Mets pitchers that could reach 80 appearances for the season. At that point, Aaron Heilman had 75, and Gary said that Heilman, with eight games left on the schedule, would probably reach 80 games.

That would mean that after today, Heilman would appear in four of the final seven games to reach the tragic number. And I'll say this: if I have to sweat through four Aaron Heilman flavored games in the next week, I'm flying to Chicago ... I'm going sightseeing at the top of the Sears Tower ... I'm going to take some wonderful pictures from atop the Tower ... And then I'm hurling myself off of it. It's about the same kind of experience that I get watching a Mets game anyway these days.

Now ... explain to me one more time why Al Reyes was released? I mean, does Reyes really have less control and velocity than a rotting corpse?

Friends In The Pen

I don't know what's more amazing: that the tying run came to bat for the Nationals in a game that the Mets once led 7-1, or that the Mets used seven pitchers to close the deal for Brandon Knight ... yet Al Reyes still can't buy his way into a game.

The Good, The Bad, And The Certifiable

Simple. Ready:

• The Mets are good.
• The Nationals are bad.
• Elijah Dukes is insane.

And not the good kind of insane like Carlos Delgado's been for the Mets lately. No, Elijah Dukes is that special kind of crazy. Look, here are my simple rules for anger management at the plate:

• If you feel that a pitch hurled your way had the intent of ending your life, or costing you money come contract time by breaking an important bone, then by all means ... charge the mound and get down.
• If it's not quite that bad, then shut up and get in the batters box for the next pitch.

It really is that simple. Stop with this bat wagging "I'm gonna get you" staredowns, especially if the pitch comes inside and doesn't even hit you. Like I always say: Don't sing it, bring it. But no, Dukes apparently goes to the Cody Ross school of solving disputes and is willing to let someone get in front of him before he gets tough. And it's not like Dukes is 5'9" like Ross is ... in fact, Dukes could floss with the treehouse that Ross lives in since Dukes is like, six foot twelve. But apparently as a general rule, he doesn't fight anyone taller than Cody Ross.

But giving the "crotch chop" to fans in the stands for booing him is fair game. Nice job, X-Pac. You may stand tall, but you still have to stand on your toes to get a peek at fourth place ... so make a chant out of that with the rest of your softball girls.

And don't think it's a coincidence that after Dukes had to be calmed down like an overactive child for five minutes, Pelfrey all of a sudden couldn't find his game ... no doubt thrown out of rhythm by Elijah's little hissyfit. Luckily he withstood the Nationals' ongoing "dead cat bounce" and escaped the game after five innings with a 7-5 lead. But then ...

"You know, it's getting really f***ing expensive to keep throwing gasoline on all these fires."

When you come into a game, walk the leadoff batter, and then let the likes of Emilio Bonifacio have ten pitch at-bats off you, you are asking for trouble. I mean, Emilio Bonifacio is just Michael Bourn with a higher average and a cooler name, and Aaron Heilman's nibbling? Nibbling??!? Heilman would then proceed to give up a bomb to Cristian Guzman and couldn't even finish the sixth inning.

And I'll maintain that Heilman was only in the game tonight because the pen was extended a bit Tuesday night and that Pelfrey couldn't get himself to the sixth (probably because the Mets didn't want to extend him in another Nats/Mets slugfest.) Snoop Manuel has been reluctant to put Heilman into key spots lately, and that mistrust ... along with ten pitch at-bats to Emilio Bonifacio and bombs to Cristian Guzman ... is going to wind up keeping Heilman off the postseatson roster (and cinch the Manager of the Year award for Manuel). Store that in your mind's Rolodex.

(Editor's note: If that's the case, why haven't we seen Al Reyes yet ... just for a look?)

But once again, the Mets had the bat out again for 13 runs in their 13-10 win (they would have kicked that other extra point but, you know ... Mike Nugent was hurt), helped out by the fact that Lastings Milledge was playing center field somewhere on Parsons Blvd. and base hit after base hit in the seventh inning was falling in front of him (not to mention Guzman's error which went into center field where it took Carlos Beltran five seconds to realize the ball was in center ... and still had time to go to third because Milledge was playing Daniel Murphy to hit it to the chop shops.)

And kudos to David Wright not only for going 4-for-4 and smacking a dinger to give the Mets breathing room in the 8th, but for wearing his cape in the sixth and coming from nowhere to field Wil Nieves' topper off Joe Smith's glove in the seventh and bare-handing the play to nail him. To me, easily ... Wright's highlight of the night. Considering he had three sparklers and four hits, that's saying something.

***

Thursday is an off-day in Metland ... but the Phillies and Brewers kick off a super-cool four game set that either brings the Phillies close to the wild card, or knocks them out of the box completely. So here's what I'm thinking: If you guys ... you loyal readers ... want it, I'll put together a live blog of the Phillies/Brewers game so that instead of following it on Yahoo! or something, we can have a little Internet party here on the blog and have some fun following the enemy. I'm usually not feeling a live blog for a Mets game ... you're all watching it anyway, typing would be a waste of time for you. But for an out of town game, maybe you want a different and strange way of following it. So why not follow it here?

So for you guys that don't have the MLB package, or even for you guys who do, and are into this, just give me a "hell yeah" in the comment section, and if there's enough yes votes, I'll set it up and we'll make an appointment for a 7:00 enemy live blog right here. The ball's in your court.

The Cavalry (Or Calvary) Is On The Way

The Mets apparently don't care about crowded houses. They're calling up nine guys for the September stretch drive ... and apparently the surprise is that most teams don't call up nearly that many players when the rosters expand.

My surprise is that the Mets didn't use up all 15 of their extra available spots ... and that they were all relief pitchers. Need 12 outs? Use 12 pitchers. (Just make sure you pick up the 12 pitching arms from the side of the road in November.)

Conventional wisdom would tell you that our extra relievers ... Al Reyes, Bobby Parnell, Carlos Muniz and Ricardo Rincon would get the bulk of the work tomorrow so that our tired and our weary can yearn to breathe free in whatever huddled masses they'd like to join. Brian Stokes, for example, can join the huddled masses of the exhausted, having pitched in five straight games. Luis Ayala can join the huddled masses of those whose groins are tweaked. Aaron Heilman ... I don't even know what masses he's huddling in. I think they're giving him some bad advice.

But against the Milwaukee Brewers, that might not be possible. The good news is that Johan Santana goes for the Mets today, and he's capable of going nine. The bad news is that the Brewers slug .470 against lefties, and have an OPS of .820 (and against Johan and his longball tendencies that's trouble, not to mention Jon Niese makes his first start against these guys Tuesday ... welcome to the show, kid.) But here's the most important thing the Mets need to be mindful of this series: If they're lucky enough to make the playoffs, guess who they will probably get in Round One?

That's right, Milwaukee.

And while it's a relief that the Mets miss CC Sabathia this series, if they lose two of three or worse then they will have done so to a team that didn't have CC at their disposal over the next three games.

Good thing the cavalry is on its way (or is that calvary?) Maybe Labor Day isn't going to be so laborious after all.

Meeting Of The Minds

We set the scene in the Mets bullpen, during the first inning of Wednesday night's game against the Braves:

Schoeneweis: Hey everybody! Everybody! Gather your butts 'round here, Billy's got something to say to all of you!

Wagner: Thanks Scott. I want you all to know that just because I'm not going to be able to close for y'all in the foreseeable future cuz my elbow is the size of Fluff Castro's head, that you guys are more than capable to get the job done. In fact, I want to tell you that you guys are great, and there's not a guy out there that I would trade any of you for. People just focus on me because I have the closer title ... and the only reason that I'm a closer is that I stunk as a starter.

Heilman: You stunk as a starter?

Wagner: Why, yes I did.

Heilman: Tell us that story.

Wagner: What story?

Heilman: About how you stunk as a starter and are now the best closer in this bullpen? Please?

Wagner: Well, that's not really ...

Heilman: I WANT TO HEAR THE STORY!

Schoeneweis: Aaron! Pipe down!

Wagner: No Schoeney, it's okay. I'll tell the story.

Feliciano: Cool! Story time! Hey Joe, you have the candy in the Hello Kitty bag?

Smith: Yup. Hope you guys don't mind, I ate a lot of it ... just the stuff with the processed sugar.

Schoeneweis: Will you mutts stifle so Billy can tell his story ... we may have to pitch soon!

Wagner: Well, there's not too much to the story ... when I was at Quad City in 1994, I started 26 games, went 8-9, and walked 91 batters in 153 innings. So then after I started some in AAA, the Astros decided to make me a reliever. So I really mean it when I say that you're all better than me.

Smith: Ha ha, hahaa ha. I'm better than yooooooou. Hey, I wonder who else I'm better than (hops off).

Feliciano: That wasn't a very interesting story. Where's the compelling plot lines? The sultry ingenue? The action scenes?

Heilman: Wait a second, I wasn't that bad in Norfolk ... I didn't walk as many guys as you when I was a starter, and they didn't make me a closer. The Mets just made me a stupid seventh inning guy.

Smith: (licking the sugar off the inside of the candy bag) Ha ha hahaa, ha. I'm better than yooooooou, Aaron!

Heilman: No really, I only walked 66 in 151 innings in Norfolk and the Mets told me that I had to pitch in the stupid seventh inning. What does that say about me?

Schoeneweis: What Billy is trying to say is that you're all capable of closing so keep your chins up.

Heilman: My chins? Are you calling me fat? I'm going to go now. (stomps off)

Feliciano: Billy, if there was a movie made about you, who would you get to play you? John Malkovich?

Stokes: Edward Norton?

Schoeneweis: Jack Black!

Wagner: Close Schoneny ... John Franco.

Smith: Hey, you know who else I'm better than? John Smoltz. After 57 years as a starter, he was a reliever for a couple of years. That must mean he stunk as a starter too. So I must be better than him too, right? I'm better than Smollll-tziiiiiiie. I'm better than Smollll-tziiiiiiie.

Schoeneweis: You're a little dense. Hey what's Heilman doing over there?

Stokes: Schoeny, he said something about "goodbye cruel world" and I now think he's trying to slit his pinky finger with a spoon.

Heilman: I'll do it too if I can find only my wrist!

Stokes: What should I do, Billy?

Wagner: Leave him alone. He obviously lacks his tools and his command tonight so I wouldn't worry about him.

Smith: Hey, I'm reading Wikipedia, and there's this guy named Mathewson, and he had 28 career saves. So that must mean he stunk as a starter ... and he's in the Hall of Fame! So I'm better than him, right? Wow, I'm going to be in the Hall of Fame! Wait 'till I rub it in to the guys at Wrigley! I'm a Hall of Faaaaaaaaam-eeeeeeeeeer! I'm a Hall of Faaaaaaaaam-eeeeeeeeeer!

Schoeneweis: Wait a second, where's Filthy? Filthy! What are you doing in the corner???

Sanchez: I'm making a t-shirt for Johan! It says "I Went to the Dugout with a Three Run Lead and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt!"

Feliciano: What does it say on the back?

Sanchez: It says "Oh Yeah, and a No-Decision Too!"

Heilman: Ha ha, that's funny! Maybe this world isn't so cruel after all! I want to liiiiiiiiive!!!

Schoeneweis: Oh jeez, with all these basket cases I'd think it was Easter. I hope we don't have to pitch tonight.

Wagner: I wouldn't worry about that.

Al Reyes: All right boys, I'm here to help. Where's the candy?

Schoeneweis: Wait, you're a Met?

Al Reyes: Well, sort of. I'm a Binghamton Met.

Feliciano: Don't you play second base?

Stokes: I think that's Argenis.

Smith: Yay! We lead the league in Reyeses! Yaaaaaay! They're better than yooooooou! They're better than yooooooou!

Heilman: Where's that spoon?

Wagner: (Buries head in hands. Elbow inflames to the size of Mr. Met's head.)

Looie Love

People will paint the Luis Castillo trade as the Mets responding to the Braves' trade for Mark Teixeira, and attempt at Octavio Dotel. And that's silly because I'm sure Omar Minaya was working on this long before those deals went down. It's not like Omar was watching ESPNEWS and saw that little box that said "Braves Trade For Teixeira Pending, Omar Had Better Get to Work", and all of a sudden brushed the cookie crumbs off of his Aquaman pajamas and rushed to the phone.

But knowing that the Braves were hot on the Tex trail meant the Mets had to do something...but they were going to do something anyway. And Castillo is just what they needed. I've wanted Castillo for years. Don't believe me? Comb through my blog. You will find plenty of evidence of my man crush on Castillo. I work with a Twins fan. When the Twins initially got Castillo, I cursed that guy out. He didn't deserve it, as it was a classic case of transference. But that's how much I wanted Luis Castillo.

Remember, this isn't merely an upgrade at second base. If it was solely about second base, then Ruben Gotay would hit eighth for the rest of our natural lives and we'd be finished. But this trade was about the two hole. Paul Lo Duca wasn't given a chance to be the regular two-hole hitter, and for the life of me I couldn't understand it. Lo Duca isn't the same hitter this season as he was last season, but in part I think it's because of his changed role in the lineup. Instead, Jose Reyes has had a revolving door behind him, and it's been no small coincidence that you would see Reyes stranded at third base every first inning. Castillo ends the revolving door once and for all, and once everybody gets healthy (I'm talking to you, Mr. Abdominal Strain), that lineup becomes as stable as the Rock of Gibraltar, or any old rock you want to name, for the first time since last season.

The move also strengthens the bench without trading for a bench guy, as Gotay provides versatility along with Damion Easley. And Jose Valentin can even play some outfield along with second base when he gets back. Anybody who thinks that these guys aren't going to play a big part with the Mets down the stretch just hasn't looked at the team's medical reports lately.

It may not be the last move the Mets make until tomorrow at 4PM (perhaps there's some bullpen help coming as Tampa's Al Reyes is a possibility), but it will probably be the biggest move the Mets make. And while it isn't as big as the Teixeira deal, it's big in that it may have just as much of a ripple effect on the Mets lineup as Tex will have on Atlanta's lineup. So game on.