Victories! Everywhere I Look: Victories!

So much for pitch counts.

David Cone once had a 166 pitch game, but that was a nine inning game. Orlando Hernandez threw 130 times tonight, in six innings, at the age of forty...something. This means that for David Cone to match that feat, factoring in the age exchange rate, he would have had to throw 529 pitches to match tonight's performance by Hernandez.

(It's kind of like those commercials where they say that you would have to eat 250 bowls of your cereal to match one bowl of Total. Orlando, being as old as he is...or may be...should know all about the value of a healthy cereal.)

Tonight, a victory, made possible by Hernandez, and Mr. French Cooking himself, Jorge Sosa. Carlos Beltran hitting the ball hard and not being placed on the DL is another victory. Tomorrow, Hernandez's arm and Pedro Martinez's arm still being attached to their shoulder sockets would be two more victories. One more victory against the Pirates on Wednesday night and that's 5-0 in two days.

(If only moral victories counted in the standings.)

Sure, it was ugly in the minds of some people. Anything less than 12-0 against a team like the Pirates probably would have been considered ugly. But hey...in case anybody hasn't been paying real close attention lately, the Mets have been playing as ugly as Mike DiFelice sliding into third base (he may be born to catch, but tramps like DiFelice aren't born to run...no word on whether DiFelice's wife is named Wendy). So we'll take it. Take your Moises Alou go-ahead RBI's and go home before somebody changes their mind.

***

Chances are you laughed at something Keith Hernandez said during the game tonight. On those nights that I'm really paying attention, I always laugh at something he says. He's just a goofy human being, and we as Met fans should be eternally grateful for that, especially on those all too familiar nights lately where Hernandez has been the highlight of the broadcast, way above and beyond the actual game.

Does he remind you of anyone?

Never have I appreciated Phil Rizzuto more than when I realized about a week or two ago that Keith Hernandez, in all of his goofiness, is turning out to be our Rizzuto in the booth. As much as the Yankee affiliation turned me off to him, I realized later in life just how entertaining Rizzuto was.

And never have I appreciated the Scooter more than when the Yankees beat the Orioles on Monday night, and noticed a huge John Sterling likeness on the scoreboard with his "Yankees Win" phrase next to him. After I threw up upon the sight of that pompous forced schtick, I wondered aloud if Yankee fans will ever realize how good they had it once upon a time.

And twelve hours later, Rizzuto leaves us. If they don't realize it now, they never will.