Thursday, June 22, 2006

Spin Cycle

Don't you freak out when you're doing laundry, and you realize that the brand new bright red thermal one piece you bought is in with the tighty whities, and everything is tinged with a pinkish hue?

Well all that clean laundry that was in tonight's wash was ruined by the bright red garment of bad location. David Wright's two strike hit to keep the seventh inning alive for Jose Valentin? Ruined. Valentin's extraordinary home run off of lefty Chris Hammond as a lefty hitter? Wiped out. Jose Reyes hitting for the spin cycle? Never to be worn again.

Tom Glavine goes on television and tells us to discover Queens. If I could have gotten on television, I would have told Billy Wagner to discover the strike zone in the ninth inning as he was walking Austin Kearns and David Ross with two outs. Unfortunately, he discovered the strike zone a little too much against Brandon Phillips as his two strike fastball on a tee was served into center field for the death knell to Reyes' cycle and all the other good memories cultivated at Shea Stadium tonight.

And somewhere, Jon Stewart stopped preparing for his "Daily Show" taping to proclaim that "this is unacceptabllllllllllle!"

This was unacceptable...if for no other reason than this post should have been dedicated to Jose Valentin choosing to bat lefthanded against a lefthanded pitcher and driving the first pitch he saw to the chop shops in center field. This post should have been dedicated to the final decline of Joe Mays (Xavier Nady did him a favor by striking out against him with the sacks full in the fifth...and those movie offers have been rescinded) and Chris Hammond. This post should have been dedicated to the many ways that Jose Reyes can beat you, much in the same way manner that another shortstop beat teams single handedly (all right, he beat one team single handedly, but what other excuse am I going to have to mention Mike Phillips?) This post should have been dedicated to the first smile out of Aaron Heilman in months after pitching a scoreless eighth.

Instead we talk about Country Time ruining the laundry by sticking with his fastball because his slider was too loopy (his words not mine). Discover Queens? Discover your slider.

And get it out of my laundry.

7 comments:

Kyle in Newport News said...

My favorite part of the game was Jose Valentin's tip toe to safety at second base after sliding wide to avoid the oncoming tag. But ESPN stole your headline. From the ESPN.com main page:

"Spin cycle: Reyes hits 'em all; Mets wrung up"

ez said...

Leaving Shea Stadium tonight, I was met with chants i thought i would never hear. "we want franco... we want franco..."

that was horrible.

Unser said...

Mike Phillips and I watched the game together last night. The Mike-ster wanted me to let everybody know that the game was a lot more difficult when he "cycled" in the mid-'70s. He's pretty pissed off. He's got daggers for David Wright - Mikey thinks his number 5 should have been retired a long time ago.

Toasty Joe said...

As usual, your rant is much more level-headed than mine (see my blog).

Dick Sackman said...

Julio Machado would never let a game like that slip away.

The mets simply must score more point s and amke sure the bulpen has more of a cushon.

Joe said...

I used to think I jinxed Mets closers. That everytime I watched the ninth, the mets would blow the game. It happened all the time. I lived with this burden but it didn't explain why sometimes the mets closers DIDN'T blow the game when I watched.

Last night I figured out why. It isn't me - it's my girlfriend! She pointed out to me that everytime she watches a Mets game, they blow it in the ninth. She said the Mets must really suck because they are always blowing games. I said "actually . . . they are the best in the national league." She was honestly shocked by that. That is when I realized SHE was with me last July in Pittsburgh when Fluff forgot to run and Heilman let in five runs with only one out to go. SHE was in the room a few months ago as Country Time had a meltdown vs the Yankees. And again SHE walked into the room with only one out left in the game and watched as Wagner blew the game.

It blew my mind. I thought it was me all along. It's her!!! She is a red sox fan, but she doesn't realize that Johnny Damon isn't on the red sox anymore. I quickly informed her and she seems pretty upset by it. What does that have to do with the Mets? I'm not sure, but I think I broke the curse.

jdon said...

Wagner is a fright fest. Not 'in sync'? Huh? Throw your damn fastball down the middle. Let's not nibble at 98. Better hits than walks. Always better hits than walks.