Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Could It Be...SATAN?

I'm into conspiracies.

Why else would the schedule maker pit the Angels and the Devil Rays against each other on 06/06/06?

Thankfully for the future of mankind, the Angels were victorious by a score of 12-2, so a defeated Satan had to search for his consolation prize, and find another recipient for his venom and his sick, demented sense of humor.

Enter, as usual, the New York Mets.

Who else but the prince of darkness could come up with a six run sixth inning against a future hall of famer who was running on a streak of six straight starts without a victory?

And I'm mildly sure that Kenny Lofton, who wears number six, was mildly involved in all of this somewhere. (Mephistopheles is not his name, but I know what he's up to just the same.)

And that's not even mentioning Jose Reyes' wrist problem from out of nowhere, which kept him out of the game tonight...or how about Cliff Floyd turning his ankle on level ground in the second forcing him to leave the game...or Carlos Beltran angering Satan by making an unreal diving catch, to which Satan replied by tweaking Beltran's back...although Carlos stayed in the game.

Ah, but Lucifer wasn't done there. He turned Jose Valentin, hero of the month past, back into a pumpkin as he made two errors in that sixth inning, and two more sloppy plays in the eighth inning further reminding us that if Kaz Matsui even hit a little bit, he would still be providing a wee bit of mobility at a middle infield position. This of course means that Kaz Matsui is a minion of Satan.

Of course the end of the game featured Eric Gagne...who's entrance music is "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns 'N Roses. And we all know that G'NR music was written and co-produced by Satan...at least according to Tipper Gore.

Satan wins this round.

6 comments:

G-Fafif said...

Where was our No. 6 to combat all this nefariousness? Jeff Keppinger (had to think about that, didn'tcha?) is still imprisoned in Norfolk. Is it a coincidence that his ad hoc replacement (actually Edgardo Alfonzo's ad hoc replacement, since we haven't had a legitimate, fulltime 2B since 2001, our SIXTH most recent season; Alomar was sent by Satan himself, we all know that now) Jose Valentin "chose" last night to commit multiple miscues?

Come to think of it, isn't the shortstop "6" on our scorecards? And where was our of-late indestructible shortstop last night? OUT! He was replaced by a man named Woody. And do you really want to send wood into the hell fires of 6-6-06?

But everything turns out all right on 6/7/06, right?

Right?

WRIGHT?

Help?

nLak..B) said...

666 is over now. I think we can get back to our normal lives.

I think Carlos is Mr. Devil because that goatee was making me...suspiciously angry.

It's easier to understand if you read my post on wormy talk

Anonymous said...

It was also D-Day which I guess in this case stands for Dodgers. We were doomed from the start on all fronts!

quint said...

nice sting reference.

Toasty Joe said...

Hey, I'm getting married on 7/7/7, so hopefully the stars will align that day. As for Beltran, I think he speaks to the devil through his giant mole. It operates as some sort of supernatural communication device.

nLak..B) said...

one time in 2005 i saw this guy in the dugout with a mole near his right ear then a few days later i figured out that it was carlos and i was flopping between him and david wright but i realized that it's inside that counts even though it's absolutely fake.

yeahhh...i was just beginning my mets pride in those days. i'm a much better mets fan than a-rod fan... *spazzes*

sorry random moment there...you don't have to read that.

GOATEES ARE CREEPY!