Saturday, June 10, 2006

Metstradamus: The Architect

Now I know what I want from the new Mets ballpark, due to open for business in 2009. Here is the Metstradamus design of "The New Shea":

And I want all the bells and whistles that come with it...I want the retractable roof. I want the swimming pool in the outfield. I want the path from the mound to home. I want the cicada sound effects before every pitch.

I'll say it: Who needs to bulid a new park? I want the one that the D'Backs play in. I want that park put on a large flatbed and driven from Arizona to Flushing. And you know what else I want? I want Brandon Webb to be in the park when it arrives. (My therapist says I should stick to attainable goals...now you know why.)

Last season, there were thirty two Mets runs in two games at Bank One Ballpark. This season, the D'Backs tried to throw off their opponents by changing banks...now it's Chase Field. It kind of worked, as the Mets only scored seventeen runs in the last two games this trip out (and letting the roof open didn't work tonight for Arizona either). But you can name it after any bank you want. When the Mets are there, it's nothing but Banco Popular, baby!

And they haven't even faced Russ Ortiz yet!

The Mets owed Miguel Batista one...or two or twenty, after his performance last month. And they took care of business with four in the first, helping to knock him out before the fifth inning was over. And it's a good thing, because Steve Trachsel provided us with one of his fun filled three and a half hour starts...chock full of walks to the eighth place hitter, home runs given up to the eighth place hitter, and the requisite long breaks between pitches. But more than that, there were an obscene amount of pitches that were hit back through Trachsel.

Seemed to me that Trax needed some extra equiptment:


But five home runs from the middle of the Mets order (two from each Carlos, and one from the Golden Boy) got Trachsel the victory, and Billy Wagner was able to concentrate even though he came in to the game with a four run lead in the ninth. It must be easy to concentrate while playing in such a beautiful and bountiful ballpark...full of runs.

If the Wilpons offered the U.S. Open tennis compound, the chop shop, and a Vietnamese restaurant to be named later, you think that would be enough to get Chase Field to New York?

11 comments:

kazmirlovesyou said...

WOW...the braves are only 9 games back...
'Hey Mestra, We're doomed!!'

Anonymous said...

i thought the cicada was a rattlesnake.

nLak..B) said...

eek..i love chase field, which i still call bank one ballpark.

it's pretttyyy.

when i walked in there last august it was like..freezing. yay air conditioners!

Unser said...

Instead of the cicada sounds, the Mets should use the roar of jet engines taking-off from La Guardia. Oh wait, they already have that in real time.

P.S. - Ever thought of using Bruce Chen photos in your standings?

matteey said...

You should do this for a living. Try contacting all of the local papers to see if they would feature your work as an online column. I'm serious. Your blog is outstanding. Great work man.

pj said...

eric byrnes at "Chase One" Ballpark

drunken announcer at "disGraced One" Ballpark or is it "Watch the game and drink a Case One" Ballpark

Metstradamus said...

Their rattlesnake sounds eerily like a swarm of cicadas.

Harold Sachs said...

The Mets have made good trades and can win becuase the y will score many points!

Anonymous said...

speaking of moving stadiums, anyone else see the discovery channel show on the football cardinals new stadium?

the field is going to be on train tracks. so they can roll it out of the stadium to do concerts and things and not mess up the field.

it will also have the benefit of being able to grow the real grass out in the open.

Metstradamus said...

That's what Fred Wilpon originally wanted the new Shea to feature...a rollaway field. But he realized it was pointless since Vince Coleman doesn't play with the Mets any more, and there would be no chance that the field would roll over his other leg.

Ed in Westchester said...

My brother actually worked on the design of that "original" new ballpark with the rolling fields. He is an engineer. He was amped up about it. His work was on the stands in the outfield that the field would roll under.
Of course, since he is my younger brother, had this come to fruition, I would never have sat out there. I mean, I remember the boy building stuff out of tinkertoys that would fall apart.