Friday, December 02, 2005

Anna Benson For A Librarian?

Obviously, the Mets are planning on a more wholesome image.

As you can see, Jorge Julio would bring less distractions to the park than the person he will reportedly be traded for, Kris Benson. Julio is seen here with, no joke, a librarian and a consultant. Last season, we had plenty to write about concerning Anna Benson, she of the overflowing cups of love.

What jokes am I going to write about a librarian and a consultant?

A priest, a librarian and a consultant walk into a bar...

No that's not good.

A priest, a librarian, and a consultant are at the World Series of Poker, and Anna Benson says...

Damn, this isn't going to be easy.

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know, but if Anna Benson was screwing...light bulbs...librarians...pigs in a blanket...


Wait, this is a baseball site, let's talk a little baseball. It seems as if both players' stock dropped a bit late in the year. Benson's stock dropped in September when he couldn't finish the season as strong as he started it, raising a red flag about durability. Julio's stock dropped after he lost the closers job and battled with wildness. Omar Minaya is dealing from his stockpile of starters to strengthen the bullpen, but this would still be a curious move, because I can't imagine the Mets going into the season with a rotation of Martinez, Glavine, Trachsel, Seo, and Heilman or Zambrano at the back end. Benson, during long stretches of 2005 was the team's second best starter.

To be fair, Julio, wildness and all, becomes the Mets' 8th inning guy, and all of a sudden, the bullpen as a whole would look like a strength rather than a weakness, especially with a guy like Juan Padilla who has pitched well enough to be considered as the seventh inning guy, Heath Bell and Royce Ring rounding out the middle innings, and perhaps Roberto Hernandez to pick up where his aging bones left off last year, in a new role that would keep him fresh. And you never know what veteran lefty might become available (J.C. Romero?)

Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but this also heightens the Barry Zito radar. Especially with the winter meetings on the horizon. My prediction: Victor Diaz, Victor Zambrano, and Brian Bannister gets this done. No Lastings Milledge.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to write some smarmy librarian jokes.


jabair said...

NO WAY METSTRA!!! did you spend thanxgiving over @ michael irvings house????

No way in hell is billy beane giving up zito for Victor Diaz, Victor Zambrano, and Brian Bannister... ive been talking to a lot of people here in the bay area regarding zito and the over whelming response has been that billy lost his #1 pick by signing loiza and he wants a #1 pick back...

he would love to dump the 8.5 million zito but the trades billy makes are always in favor of the A's and i cant see how Victor Diaz, Victor Zambrano, and Brian Bannister benefit them...

Victor Diaz: .329 OBP .468 SLG & .257 AVG with 30 walks & 82 Ks in 280 ABs doesnt fit into their mold.

Victor Zambrano... the A's like to draw walks, not give them up...

Brian Bannister :

i would try to sign burnett on a back loaded deal and im pretty sure we can get a whole lot more for anna benson and her husband...

jabair said...

hey guys, looking @ the 2006 payroll.. do these numbers look right to you guys??

jabair said...

backloaded = deferred payments

Travolta said...

Smarmy to say the least.

I have to say that I have been a little ambivelant about picking up Manny all along (an opinion caused in part by certain weblogs which will go unnamed), but what began as a vague feeling of discomfort has morphed into full-on nail biting.

The Delgado deal was a good move. Wagner? Country roads take me home, baby. I'm lovin' it.

But Manny? Only if Omar also adds a starter also. If Manny comes to the Mets and no rotation help is procured we are gonna be in for one frustrating season because no matter how many jimmy-jacks Delgado and Manny combine for, the rotation will be shaky at best and completely craptastic at worst.

Country-time is only worth the money when you have a lead to begin with.

Last summer there were huge tracts of time when Pedro seemed like the only reliable starter in Queens. Glavine? I love the guy, but no one really knows if we are going to get pre-allstar-break-Tom, post-allstar-break-Tom, or some new version that I like to call "Forty-year-old-Tom." Who knows what 40 year old Tom will look like, but I am getting nauseous thinking about it.

Zambrano? Gag me with a spoon. Getting Zambrano the hell away from Shea stadium would save Mets fans all over NY unnecessary hospital bills caused by hernias, ulcers, heart-palpitations and the like.

Seo looks good, and makes me feel a little better about things. Heilman too, but we need him in the bullpen and he can't start and come out of the bullpen all at once unless Omar trades Benson for some kind of magical cloning machine. By the looks of the situation in Baltimore, the Orioles do not possess any such machine. I kind of get the impression that Billy Money-Ball may actually have said machine locked away in the basement of the Oaktown Colliseum, but I am not optimistic about his desire to part with it for Benson.

Why? Because Benson smells like a sissy to me. He's one of these guys that has good stuff and everybody was wetting themselves about his potential earlier in his career, but we have yet to see anything of note from the guy. Good stuff but no guts. Where's the fire?

Manny or no manny, I side with Metstra on this one, without better pitching this team is going nowhere fast. And to be honest, I don't know how much more disappointment I can take.

cp said...

Jabair here is another salary website I've found very reliable. The link you posted formats all out of whack for me so I can't say if it looks reliable or not.

Oh soothsayer grande, think you need to cut down on the espresso grandes. Hard to see a half dozen other clubs not putting together a better package for Zito. Viva Z is not a min salary guy anymore & is only arb controlled through '07. If this works sign me up - we could then finally put Kazmir to rest.

Ian said...

My girlfriend is a librarian. Anna Benson has droopy boobs. The deal is dead anyway.

Shari said...

Hi Metsra- I don't know about this one, if it in fact going to be a reality, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, especially with how dumb the Mets looked when they traded for Benson rather than picking him up as a free agent, then they went through alot of trouble last season locking him up for a few years and set the bar for starting pitcher's salaries.
Unless it's a salary dump for bigger and better things on the horizon it's just a dumb move in my opinion.

Kyle in Newport News said...

travolta wrote:

Because Benson smells like a sissy to me. He's one of these guys that has good stuff and everybody was wetting themselves about his potential earlier in his career, but we have yet to see anything of note from the guy. Good stuff but no guts. Where's the fire?

Dude, Kris Benson has the heart of a lion.

Kyle in Newport News said...

Luis Castillo to the Twins... sorry, Metstra. :(

Meanwhile, Kaz is set to make $8 million. Thanks for the chart, jabair.

Metstradamus said...

Jabair and cp,

If Joe Thornton can go to San Jose for Marco Sturm and three cheeseburgers, anything is possible. Multiple espressos aside.

Travolta, I didn't see a lack of fire from Benson. Quite the opposite. He got into trouble multiple times and worked his way free. The problem is that he has a history of fading down the stretch, and his lack of strikeouts.

Hi Shari! I agree with you. I read now that the Orioles are backpedaling on that deal. I wonder now if it is inevitable that Benson's would be hard to take him back if that trade offer was indeed legit.

Kyle, after the Delgado trade, I didn't think the Mets were going to get Castillo for the simple fact that the Marlins maximize their return by splitting these guys up rather than making them a package. The only time they didn't do that was when they threw Mota into the deal and that was only because Boston forced them to do so. And with Delgado, I think the Mets have designs on making Beltran the two hole hitter. One more top of the order hitter, and someone is going to be very unhappy in the six hole (Floyd). Tells me that the rest of the focus realistically goes towards pitchers.

At least he's in the other league now. Castillo will help the Twins immensely.

Shari said...

Hi Mestra- Do you believe that Joe Thorton trade?
I only wish they would send us back Brian Leetch for a bucket of pucks and skate blades.

Back to Benson I am wondering if Minaya just wanted to cause a stir and drive up his worth in order to bring back a bigger payoff pairing him with Nagy, or someone else. They do have an abundance of pitchers to play with.

Metstradamus said...

Shari, absolutely! Not only do the Mets have an abundance of starters, they have an abundance of relatively inexpensive starters, between Trachsel, Zambrano, and Seo. So those guys are options to trade as well as Benson.

Itsmetsforme said...

hi there-- I think the focus here should be on Anna's husband. Although there is a clause in his contract that says his wife will sleep with the entire cast of Rent if he is traded.

To me, if you can trick someone into giving something worthwhile for this sad sack, you gotta do it. The dude had the whole beginning of the season off due to injury and still couldn't mangage to be conditioned enough to finish the season strong. I hate poorly conditioned athletes.They are too much like me.

BUT--getting rid of Mr.Benson represents a bigger rotation downgrade than getting rid of Zambonehead, or Toothless Tom. At least I can IMAGINE Kris being effective next season. So I wouldn't start dealing from the top of the deck, so to speak. Anyone snowed by agentTomahawk's half season revival should be ashamed of themselves. Though he's probably staying, dammit. THe best thing Glavine ever did for the MEts will probably end up being recruiting Wagner.

Also, i am a also Bruins fan by a cruel trick of fate and geography. Can you imagine going through life a victim of the management/ownership of the Bruins AND mets? It hasn't been easy for me. Both teams never deliver championships, are either cheap or stupid or both, and occasionally do deals that seem like the results of drunken dares over a game of horseshoes ("i bet you wouldn't trade Joe Thornton and get absolutely nothing back for him" or "I bet you're too much of a pussy to send Kazmir over there for that injured flake, Zambrano").


Metstradamus said...

Mets AND Bruins? Oof! My condolences. Do you have ANY hair left or have you ripped it all from your scalp???

I guess Joey T's two helpers aren't making you feel any better.