Monday, March 22, 2010

Hey, We Have Health Care! It's Now Safe To Trade For Mike Lowell!!!

Is it a coincidence that the Mike Lowell rumors from way back in January when the health care bill was thought to be on its last legs started again the very day that the new bill gets passed by the House of Reps? I think not. Now, if Lowell does become a Met and he gets hurt, it could be covered.

Recurring thumb problem? No problem! It's covered.

Bad hip? America can heal you.

Aging right-handed stick gets a year older every second? No problem. It can be fixed with subsidized wheat grass.

Batting average drops like a stone? Okay, maybe that's a problem, because I don't know if the Senate can fix that with wheat grass, aging cream, or 80-pitch drills that are supervised by your HMO. But hey, who better to test this new theory for the United States of America than on than the son of a Cuban exile?

Health care for all. The pennant is ours. Make this trade? Yes We Can!!!

(Editor's note: Does the new plan include psychiatric help for bloggers? I'm not asking for myself ... really. I'm just curious.)

(Editor's second note: Okay I'm asking for myself.)


dave crockett said...

well played sir.

well played indeed.

calzone said...

Sad, sad day for America.
I digress.