Sunday, January 31, 2010

Sight, Sound, But Never Mind

There is a fifth dimension, beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as right field, and as timeless as Mike Piazza's mustache. It is the middle ground between Shea, and Citi. Between a level swing, and a barbecue at Hojo's house. At it lies between the pit of your stomach, and the line at Shake Shack. This is the dimension of an active imagination. It is an area which we call ... The Twilight Zone.

"Look, things were pretty bleak in 2004."

"Very bleak in 2004 ... before I got here."

"I got Carlos Beltran after 2004."


"Hey why are the Red Book and Green Book from 2004 sitting on my coffee table?"

"Oh my God, it's 2004!!!!!!!!!"

"Let's see, let me flip through this Red Book. Who's good, who's good ... ummm, Frank Catalanotto! I will trade for him!!!"

"Now I need someone from the Green Book to find som... John Smoltz!!! I'll certainly make a splash by trading with Atlanta for the great John Smoltz! Ooooooooooh! Now I need to clear room on my mantle for that Executive of the Year trophy!"

Submitted for your approval: A general manager desperate to escape his current problems running a baseball team that his mind drags him back to the very season he started. Maybe to escape his current situation? Maybe to erase the last five seasons from his memory? What would drive a man to pursue two men, relevant five years prior, yet barely on the fringes of everybody's mind now? The answer can only come if you take a trip to a dimension far, far away ... in the Twilight Zone.


(Editor's note: Before anybody jumps down my throat for being negative about anything and everything ... and I know some of you are sharpening your internet swords as you read this ... Frank Catalanotto is a halfway decent signing. There, I said it ... so save your attacks. This piece was meant to illustrate the point that Frank Catalanotto is a good player, but a good player who everybody wanted to be a Met five years ago. Instead we get him now ... now that he's 35 years old which seems to be the cut off point as Omar thinks that players need to age like wine. I mean who's next ... Gregg Jefferies? I shouldn't joke about that. He's younger than Julio Franco. Well, here's hoping that Catalanotto is more Pinot Noir than Thunderbird.)


Luis said...

Slomar is a dolt-The Mets often get players too late in their careers-Foster, Lolich, Randy Jones, Torre, Glavine....

MetFanMac said...

I remember 2004-era Catalanotto, mostly from baseball cards. Now he's a minor league utilityman. How the mighty have fallen...

The Metmaster said...

This post if for old Met fan farts like me. Marty Noble wrote a wonderful obit on the passing of Jane Jarvis on the Mets website. For young Met fans reading this blog, Jane Jarvis was the organist at Shea from its opening until the late 70s. Nobody, and I mean nobody, played "Meet The Mets" like Jane Jarvis on the Thomas organ. Back in the late 60s and 70s, EVERYONE in New York knew the lyrics to "Meet The Mets", even Yankee fans. It was cool to be a Met fan. The Yankees stunk and Met fans pointed out that we had a song. The Yankees didn't. We had a new stadium. The Yankees played in decaying Yankee Stadium. Even though they were bad, the Mets were young and hip. The Yankees, like today, were buttoned-down and corporate. Going to a Met game was special. Fans were not assaulted with blaring music, videos, advertisements, and mindless fan participation like the kissing and pass the pizza schtick at Citi. Between innings, organ music played. Your could actually conduct a conversation with people around you. You could discuss what just happened in the prior inning, comment that Seaver still looked great in the 8th inning, or discuss the Hodges platooning. I was at opening day at Shea in 1969 and saw the first Expos game, thus being one of the first MLB fans to hear "Oh Canada" played before a game. I met Jane Jarvis on the #7 train during the 1973 NLCS. I cut classes from Archbishop Molloy HS to see the afternoon game. I recognized her from the Mets yearbook pictures. I blurted out, "You're Jane Jarvis!" and she replied "Yes, I am!" We chatted until she got off the train at 74th Street/Jackson Heights. I felt like I had interacted with the highest level of "Metsdom". She was very nice. I miss those great days at Shea. Scrap the Mitch Miller (oops, another hint at my age) version of "Meet The Mets". The clueless Wilpons should play a recording of Jane Jarvis' version. History, Mr. Wilpon; believe it or not, this team has a proud history. "Everybody's coming down, to meet the M-E-T-S Mets of New York town". Thanks Jane, you were a class act.

Schneck said...

As another Met fan fart (excuse me) I wanted to add another quick comment on Jane Jarvis. I remember when I heard that she would no longer be playing at Shea feeling such a huge sense of sadness. Hearing her organ really was part of the experience of being at a Met game. The live experience changed dramatically when she moved on. We had Kiner, Murphy and Nelson in the broadcast booth and Jane Jarvis playing her distinctive organ. Lindsay Nelson had left shortly before Jarvis and Met games from the 80s forward were never quite the same when they were both gone.

FeceMcGee said...

Remember the good ole days when the only thing funny about the Mets was that they had coaches named Mookie and Cookie on the same infield??

Jeez... now every article I read about the Mets is like stand-up comedy. Can't we get someone under 35?? Why couldn't we overpay for Lackey? The Yanks did it with CC and it got em a World Series.

Speaking of which, the only time the Mets were good in the last 9 years was in 2006.. when we were under the leadership of a Yankee! GAHHHH why does this have to happen to me????

steve said...

Ahhh,I thought I left all the rampant cynicism,reactionary complaining and nonstop bitching and moaning over at the MetsBlog site. The amount of pessimism I’m seeing is amazing. Is that what the last 3 seasons have done to you people? Or,do you just regurgitate everything you read,see and hear in the so called “fair and unbiased” press coverage the team gets? ;)

Get off the ledge,stop complaining and man up for 2010!

Metstradamus said...

I require evidence of competancy before I "man up".

fredstradmus said...

Remember, Metstra, when we sat on the 1B side at Oriole Park at Camden Yards? We saw Frank Catalanotto break up Mussina's perfect game in the top of the 7th. He was with Detroit at the time. We saw Eric Davis hit a HR in that game ... had to be '97 or '98.

MetFanMac said...

August 4th, 1998, to be precise :)