Junk Anew

So wait, Omar Minaya can't get anybody to take Luis Castillo off his hands by paying a portion of his remaining $12 million, but Tony Reagins found a sucker to take Gary Matthews Jr. by paying $21.5 million?

Oh right, because that sucker was Omar Minaya. It makes perfect sense now.

That's right ... Gary Matthews Jr., he of the one big year, the Mitchell Report appearance, and the not-so-steady decline, is a New York Met ... again. Omar apparently needed a one-hit wonder, and his Castillo-for-the-Baha-Men trade was rejected by Anslem Douglas.

And now, for the low-low price of $2 million, the Mets have created their own Conan vs. Leno battle, with Corporal Matthews in the role of the older Leno, while Angel Pagan ... who to the best of my knowledge has never dressed puppies up as cats or a Buggatti Veyron as a mouse ... is the younger Coco. Except that this battle isn't for the 11:30 time slot, it's basically for the right to be Carlos Beltran's backup after a month (think positive ... think positive). Now that $2 million doesn't seem so cheap anymore, does it?

And the first person to say "Umm, heh heh ... low risk high reward!!!!" is getting punched in all of his face. Because if anybody truly believes that a 35-year-old linked (allegedly) to illegal substances is going to return to his high OBP of .371 because he's got himself a "change of scenery", well I've got a late night talk show I'd like to sell you. And I'll throw in a Brady Anderson 1999 Topps card. Low risk, reward similar to finding a lost dog ... I'm willing to believe. Low risk, hit Lotto? Don't believe the hype.

As for Brian Stokes, he had no chance here in 2010. If used right, he's a valuable commodity. If 2009 was any indication, Snoop had no idea what he wanted to do with Stokes. Was he a long man? Was he a seventh inning guy? We saw him every day, then we didn't see him for a week. If he finds success for L.A., it'll be because Mike Scioscia will figure out how to use him (after he tells the story about the home run off Gooden for the 20,000th time, of course.) If he doesn't, then it'll probably be because of his own inabilities. Snoop's erratic usage of Stokes tells me that his success isn't coming here.

So basically all this trade does is create a potential logjam in the outfield when Beltran comes back. Here's where the trade may make sense ... sort of. If Pagan is involved in a trade for a Reds pitcher (keep chasing Sasquatch, Metstradamus), then you can see some sort of light at the end of the tunnel provided it's not the seven train coming out of Hunters Point. Best case scenario, this is the first of all those "moving parts" rumored to make a Cincinnati trade happen. If not, then all you have is Matthews' complaints about playing time joining forces with a locker room that just barely survived Gary Sheffield's annual tantrum. Then Omar's going to have to answer questions about the looming distraction, and then he'll wind up blaming Adam Rubin and all hell will break loose. Again. Then we'll all be wondering who let the damn dogs out.

Again.