Purgatorial Aspirations

You never hear good news because it's under reported 'round these parts. For example, remember when the stock market was crashing and that was the lead story every single night? On Monday, the Dow went up by 114.95. How many news reports was that the lead on? Very few, if any at all. The good news is relegated to the business report at 47 past the hour. The top of the news is always reserved for bad news.

Like the Mets.

For as well as the Dow is doing these days (9286.56, for you day traders), if you bought stock in hope and optimism in Flushing, you're a sucker. Because it's dropping like a stone. You'd get more return from selling your Enron certificates at this point. After the latest ignominy of losing three of four to the Diamondbacks, even the sunniest of optimists are seeing that the rain will never stop.

Yup, second easiest schedule the rest of the way, right? Except for one thing: last season this team was swept by the Padres when they were still awful, while the Mets had Reyes, Beltran, and Delgado healthy. So the Mets are the easy schedule.

Don't blame yourself. This franchise makes suckers out of all of us at one point or another. Heck, if there was anyone who was going to bring back sunshine, surely it was Nelson Figueroa, who just a week earlier was in Buffalo giving out hats and signed baseballs to a Brooklyn youth service team and letting them on to the field to tell stories of a long and winding baseball career. (Think of the good you can do when Tony Bernazard isn't around to tell kids to "get the f**k off my field!") So if good karma counted in pitching performance, Figgy would pitch a no-hitter every time out.

But God placed a veto on all good karma for the Mets the moment that Bernazard cursed out the Brooklyn Cyclones' team chaplain. Hence, Nelson Figueroa couldn't deliver another feel good story. Instead, he gave up six runs in five outs including two homers to Mark Reynolds, who had four in his three games here at Citi Field while the highest slugging Met has five in this building all season. So God at least had the compassion to let Reynolds sit for a game while he was here. But in terms of wins, He isn't helping ... don't bother asking. And don't bother asking Satan for victories in exchange for your soul. He's too busy writing Chipper Jones' hall of fame induction speech to negotiate with you. Hence you have the New York Mets ... Once and forever, the official franchise of purgatory.

Purgatory is kind of like a place for a purification process. The Mets apparently have a lot of purification ahead of them, as they seemingly intend to operate next season with a $100 million payroll. Well, if that's true, then by these calculations the Mets are going to bring back Shane Spencer and Karim Garcia to back up and surround Johan Santana. Can't wait for Frankie Rodriguez's trade request after he goes two months without a save chance next season. Makes you wonder if the Mets just shouldn't Piratize the whole thing rather than create the illusion of championship aspirations and finish 79-83 every season from now until the end of time. Just like purgatory.

Oh, and in purgatory, the Dow is always down, the Shake Shack is just so-so, and everyone is 2-3 weeks away from returning to the field. Forever.