Thursday, August 06, 2009

I'm Not An Animal ... Technically

I really thought I had it all planned out. Was rolling along on this blog and was ready to launch into foolproof reasoning why David Wright should have charged Brad Thompson after being brushed back near his head.

But then I started eliminating the reasons in my head. I went in knowing that Wright charging the mound wouldn't provide spark enough to carry the team to the pennant. I knew that it wouldn't improve the perception of the team in other circles (though it couldn't be quite as bad as it is right now.) And I knew that there would be a better than even chance that a brawl involving the Mets would probably send at least six players to the disabled list.

(Seriously, what tortured spirit was unearthed when Jeffy put his shovel to the Shea Stadium parking lot?)

But then I realized, after invoking the "times have changed and we're all too nice" defense, reasoning how Wright should only think after acting (because not having time to think did the trick for Nelson Figueroa), and getting ready to juxtapose this incident with the Prince Fielder/Guillermo Mota incident (Mota ... LOL!) I came to an honest and enlightening conclusion: The only reason I wanted Wright to charge Thompson was to make me feel better. I haven't puffed out my chest about the Mets since Game 6 (no, not that Game 6) All a brawl would have seriously done was put a smile on my face. Not the kind of smile that a 9-0 win while losing two more players to the Balkin & Eisbrouch list gives you. I mean a huge smile.

I was selfish.

I was violent.

I was an animal.

Oh don't get me wrong, I still think Wright should have charged the mound. I sure as hell would have gotten some frustration out of that room, and yeah ... I do think we've gone soft as a sport since Ray Knight went after Tom Niedenfuer, and would like to see some vigilante justice out there. It might have been overboard for Wright to charge, but so what ... some people deserve a beating. And some people who don't deserve a beating should get one anyway.

But I'm not going to hide my personal slant/bias in this. For example, the mere thought of Shane Victorino makes me wish it was me in that batters box instead of Wright (no 'roids needed for my rage). I'm not ashamed to say that rooting for this team gives me violent tendencies. Well, maybe a little ashamed. But while I came to rant about the Mets, I instead had a breakthrough about myself. I need to deal with this in a healthy way and not let it get in the way of how I write.

Aah, screw healthy. Brad Thompson needs a beating. And so does Tony La Russa for making a pitching change in the eighth inning of a 7-0 game on getaway day (take that, genius.) And the kid who saw a guy in a John Franco jersey and said aloud "Yeah, I saw John Franco get a save, like, ten years ago yuk yuk yuk" while being only about 12 years old himself ... yeah, he deserves a beating too. And Yadier Molina deserves a beating for having a Cheshire cat grin on his mascara lined face after he threw out a runner stealing second on Tuesday.

Guillermo Mota deserves a beating too. Because he's had it coming for a while. And while you're at it, look inside your own soul. You could probably use a beating yourself.

There, I feel better. But I guess I really haven't learned anything.

Maybe it was Casper?


MetFanMac said...

The injury situation long ago went beyond ridiculous, but it just keeps getting worse. David Wright is darn lucky he hasn't missed any playing time yet; I fully expect someday soon to see the third base bag explode like a live grenade. said...

Technically, all people are animals.

The problem with all this charging the mound is that it doesn't solve anything. And it can't solve anything until MLB dispenses with the stupidest rule in all of sports, if not all of human history: that it's OK to be the first person to attempt to crush someone's skull with a fastball, but not the second.

James Allen said...

I'm with you, M, Citi Field was clearly built upon an ancient Indian burial ground.

I eagerly await the last game of the season, where the coffins and skeletons of the dead will heave up out of the outfield grass, followed by the stadium imploding and being sucked into another dimension. A very appropriate end to the season, I would think. And hell, it'd be worth at least two sequels.

James Allen said...

Almost forgot.

To the main point of your entry today: Thinking about it now, it would have been something if David Wright charged the mound (especially with that team and that manager), but I've been so used to this team acting like a bunch of wusses that it barely regestered with me at the time.

And come on, it's David Wright we're talking about here, this is what he is: nice guy, good player, fan favorite, face of the team, and, unfortunately, not a leader.

I don't mean that to sound as harsh as it does, but that's about the only way I can put it.

Schneck said...

With the season all but finished, it is time for the Mets to clear a roster spot for a designated goon. Perhaps, rather than firing Tony Bernazard, they should have offered him that roster spot and he'd always be on call to charge the mound at an appropriate time or maybe random times as well to keep the other team off their guard.