National Cruelty

As the season drags to a close, we find our latest irony: Mike Pelfrey getting tagged by the Marlins, while Livan Hernandez ... yes, that Livan Hernandez ... giving up just two runs in six innings, including none in the first inning. None.

Umm, Mr. Lord of Baseball, why are you so cruel to me? Why must you continue to make me cry? Livan Hernandez?

And speaking of Livan, don't you find it ironic that he's been the healthy one this season, and as it turns out he was the one in the car wreck?

It's entirely possible the Mets may never win again this season. But let's look at the only positive we'll ever take from a 2009 Mets game going forward: no player was hurt. Mets bloggers including myself, however, weren't so lucky.

But you know the next injury is coming. And I think I've found the next culprit: gum!

A Vasco da Gama player ended up in hospital after colliding with an opponent and choking on his chewing gum during a second division match in Brazil. Striker Aloisio lost consciousness for a few moments as he collapsed to the ground after challenging for the ball in the second half of Vasco's 1-0 win over Brasiliense on Tuesday. Doctors said he sustained a head injury and stopped breathing momentarily as the chewing gum obstructed his airways. (...) "I only remember the doctor taking the gum out. I have never been scared like this — no more chewing gum for me."

Knowing this team, it'll probably be hard candy like a Jolly Rancher. Or a mouth full of pizza. But don't be scared ... the incident isn't going to be life threatening. It's not like this team hasn't had experience with choking. Concussions, they'll screw up. Choking? No problem.

Well, as the glue from my Felix Millan mustache is making me light-headed, it's time for a few days off to get my bearings straight. Don't worry, I'm not flying to Denver, and I'll be back for regular duty on Sunday. But until then stay tuned for a special report from Billy Wagner's first day in Boston!