Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Scream '09: You're Next

I'm starting to get the feeling that Frankie Rodriguez is the Jamie Lee Curtis of the group ... the last one standing after Michael Myers has killed everyone else, while Billy Wagner is the guy who you thought died in the first half hour of the film, only to be that guy who finally drives a stake into the psychopath's heart when he's just about to kill Frankie, then tear both of his hamstrings.

Well, someone's gotta survive ... who will be left to kill off for the sequel? Cory Sullivan? Cory Sullivan doesn't sell tickets.

With that, I'd like to share with you an e-mail exchange I had today:

Monday, August 24, 2009 3:37 PM
Subject: Francoeur

Torn thumb ligament. Day to day. When does it end?

My response:

Monday, August 24, 2009 3:45 PM
Subject: Francoeur

October 4th. Unless Johan Santana is electrocuted by his Christmas Tree.

By 4:30 PM, Santana had been scratched from his start today, scheduled for an MRI on his pitching elbow, and the subject of candlelight vigils all over New York. Note to baseball gods: I was kidding!!! You don't light Christmas trees in August!!!!!

SNY better hurry with that "Nelson's Next Start" graphic ... because "Johan's Next Start" might be anywhere from next week to 2011.

I don't know what else to say (and I'm scared if I say anything else about anybody, that person will be swallowed whole by the Atlantic Ocean) except this: Drown your sorrows at Two Boots Tavern tonight for the second installment of the Amazin Tuesdays Trilogy. Greg Prince and Jason Fry of Faith and Fear in Flushing are your gracious hosts, and Dana Brand and Caryn Rose will be your guest readers. As for what they'll be reading ... rumor has it they'll be reading from the book of ancient war chants to ward off whatever evil spirits that are hovering over this baseball team. Either that or they'll be reading the American Journal of Medicine, I'm not sure which.

5 comments:

Grammarian@mindspring.com said...

When was the last time you thought about George Theodore?

Schneck said...

Knocking down Shea was obviously a horrible mistake. Think about it. Their record at the Polo Grounds pre-Shea 91-231; post-Shea 57-68. In addition, the ghost of Shea is clearly a jealous one. She will never allow the Mets a peaceful existence. An exorcism is needed and and it needs to begin with the possessed trinity of Jeff Wilpon/Omar Minaya/Jerry Manuel. Those demons must leave NY, along with their hosts, and only then can the process have any chance of success.

Schneck said...

I just went to MetsBlog and see that the Post had also written about this exorcism idea. Mestra, feel free to exorcise my other comment as, while it is a coincidence, I don't to appear to be a plagiarist (if that is a word). If you do include my other comment, please include this one as my disclaimer that I did not plagiarize or steal my idea from the Post. It is just a sad coincidence that I hit a similar theme to that wonderful newspaper.

Patrick said...

I sure hope a meteor doesn't fall on Shane Victorino...

Trash Man said...

Maybe it's the curse of the Big Apple. The Big Apple taken from Shea was replaced with a bigger, new apple. The first year of the Apple at Shea (1980), the team hit 61 home runs and the leader was Lee Mazzilli with 16. Their team home run total was compared to Roger Maris' 61. The team was racked with a slew of injuries including the ace of the staff. The team finished the season 67-95. This year the Mets team homerun total has been compared to Albert Pujols. The leader this year may not hit 16 and the club has potential to finish 67-95 especially the way they are playing lately. Maybe they should move the old Apple from the bowels of Citi Field onto the field where it belongs.