The Perfect Set

All right, in Omar I trust again.

The only question now is this: Do I trust the Wilpons?

Hmmmmmmm.

Forget next week's primaries. January 29th, 2008 will go down as a truly Super Tuesday, as the Mets have gotten their man. Finally, an ace pitcher in Johan Santana, acquired at the cut rate price of Carlos Gomez, Phil Humber, Kevin Mulvey, and Deolis Guerra. Look Ma, no Fernando Martinez!

Let me recite to you what a friend of mine (a frequent visitor to the comment section) said to me about the trade:

"What I am most happy about the trade is that for once the Mets did not bid against themselves. The 4 guys they put on the table stayed on the table. Omar did not panic even with the wolves baying at him to make a deal at any price. He wanted to keep Martinez and was succesful. When everyone laughed that the Mets offer was ridiculously puny compared to the Sox and Stinkees, he held his hand. He really played this one very well. Now Freddie Coupons has to pony up the dough."

I can't say it better myself, so I'm not going to try. Omar knew exactly what he was doing ... he wasn't going to bid against himself when the Red Sox and Yankee offers kept falling like the stock market. I admit, despite the fact that Omar's strategy was clear, I would have caved and thrown in the extra prospect to make sure the deal got done. But that's why Omar's the GM and I'm doing what I'm doing.

Now, you could say that it isn't really a stroke of genius to do what Omar did ... holding fast to a group of four prospects that fails to include the best one of all. Look, it really was the perfect storm that this happened. Yes, the Yankees and Red Sox got into a fit of restraint that helped the situation. But of course, the Yankee-lovin' media is running with this notion that the only reason the Mets were able to make this happen was because the Yankees let it happen ... again, we owe our lives to Big Brother From The Bronx. Had nothing to do with Johan wanting to come to Queens ... nah.

So let's calm down.

But whatever you believe, Omar did get the job done. Now all that is left is for the Wilpons to "pony up the dough" and put the spike in the sand on Omar's perfect set-up. When Misty May puts up a set, chances are that Kerri Walsh doesn't miss. All the Wilpons have to do is put this spike in the ground so that Johan Santana can come to Queens and strike out the likes of Misty May's husband. The sides, as of this moment, are far apart. But even Buster Olney says that the chances of this falling apart are "remote". So I'm going to resist the urge to be a curmudgeon and sleep well tonight ... knowing that by five o'clock tomorrow it will all be official, and Johan will be fitted in orange and blue.

It will be official, right?

Delivering The Good News (With Onion Rings)

(Metstradamus hears a knock at the door, waking him from a sound sleep:)

MD: Hello?

OM: Hey, it's me. Can I come in?

MD: Sure.

(Metstradamus lets in a certain GM of the New York Mets)

MD: Dude, it's like, 3AM.

OM: I know, I know. Here, I brought White Castles.

MD: Ooh, ooh, the kind I like? Cheeseburgers with no pickles?

OM: And just a touch of ketchup. Nobody knows their fans better than me. I even got two sacks of onion rings.

MD: You're awesome.

OM: Save that for when I give you the news.

MD: What news? Are you bringing back the winter caravan? Are you bringing back Jose Lima? Oh wait, I know ... you bought Brian Schneider a Hitaway!

OM: Better.

MD: Well I hope so. It's three o'clock in the freakin' morning.

OM: I got him.

MD: Who?

OM: You know who.

MD: Wait ... no!

OM: Yes.

MD: NO!

OM: Yes!

MD: I don't freakin' believe you!!!

OM: Dude, it's true. I got the paperwork right here.

MD: Holy sh ... wait. The Twinkies gutted the farm, didn't they?

OM: Gomez, Mulvey, Guerra, and Humber.

MD: No (puts onion rings on a White Castle cheeseburger and shoves it in his mouth).

OM: Yes.

MD: How in the name of Lee Guetterman did you pull that off?

OM: In Omar we trust, right?

MD: Oh yeah, baby! You truly are awesome. What a freakin' night ... you bring me Johan Santana ... you bring me White Castles and didn't forget the sack o' rings ...

OM: And I have one more thing for you too.

MD: What else could you possibly give me that would make this night even more special?

OM: This: (Omar Minaya flips Metstradamus the bird and starts singing the theme to Maude, while injecting his own name as the primary subject).

MD: What the hell is wrong with you?

OM: That's for all the crap you blogged about me when I traded Lastings Milledge. Omar this, Omar that, I don't trust Omar, bla bla bla. You don't think I read that? You don't think I read how you turned your back on me?

MD: Oh, you're still mad about that? Look dude, I was ticked! I was emotional! For crying out loud you guys blew a seven game lead with 17 games to play ... how the hell do you expect me to react when you trade a talented yet misunderstood outfielder for a .220 hitting catcher and Ryan Church?

OM: Dude, you were dogging me like I was some sort of schlub off the street ... like I was a common hot dog vendor ... like I was Al Harazin!

MD: Oh, come on. Don't you think you're being a tad overdramatic?

OM: Screw that. I try to shore up the bullpen and what do you do? You make jokes about arm casts and afterschool specials. You didn't trust me. And now that I've gotten you your ace, you're all happy and you're all like "oh Omar, you're the best" and "oh Omar you're so awesome" and like "oh Omar, sell me a seven pack". Yet you snicker behind my back and make fun of my smaller acquisitions while not seeing the big picture. Well, screw you. I've had it with you sitting in front of your laptop assuming that there's going to be a disaster at every turn. I brought you Petey. I brought you Carlos Beltran. AND I GOT YOU JOHAN SANTANA YOU PETULANT BLOGGER B*TCH! (Omar flips Metstradamus the double bird and laughs like Cesar Romero).

MD: Omar! Watch your f***ing language!!!

OM: You don't deserve Johan Santana. Maybe I'll just tell the Wilpons to be a little extra hard during contract negotiations during the next few days so he'll go back to Minnesota en route to Boston or The Bronx. Would you like that?

MD: You take that back!!!

OM: Make me!!!

MD: Just wait until ... until ... YOU LACED THESE WHITE CASTLES!!! (Metstradamus runs to the bathroom)

OM: Um no, that's just what they do. But you got what you deserved anyway! HA! (Omar leaves in a huff with an evil laugh ... Metstradamus emerges from the bathroom seconds later).

MD: Wait! Omar!!! Come back!!! (Metstradamus opens the door to find Omar waiting for the elevator in the hallway with an evil grin on his face).

OM: Which seven-pack would you like?

MD: Santana pack?

OM: I'll see if I can invent one. You know I spoil you.

MD: Thanks dude. And thanks for the White Castles.

OM: Anytime. See you at Shea?

MD: You bet.

(And ... scene.)

Hello? McFly?

"We don’t feel like we have to do a deal for a pitcher..." -Omar Minaya

Sure, that's what he says. And if you're a fan hearing that, you're probably tearing your hair out right now. But believe this: As Omar Minaya looks repeatedly at the picture in his jacket of all the aces posing on his front door fading away because he's increasingly coming to the point where he can't acquire any of them, you can bet that he's running around the Opryland Hotel performing his best guitar solos to try to get these GM's to hand over their aces.

The problem is that it is harder than it seems. Dontrelle Willis has faded from the picture completely as he's gone to Detroit along with Miguel Cabrera for the Tigers entire minor league system. Johan Santana is pretty much out of the picture himself, Dan Haren is being pursued hard by the Diamondbacks for some good prospects, and Erik Bedard is being chased hard by the Dodgers, as they may have offered Matt Kemp and Jonathan Broxton for him. Now Omar's first guitar solo is reportedly in the form of an offer Aaron Heilman, Carlos Gomez, and Phil Humber...which would be a steal if that happened (Steve Phillips reports that, so the grains of salt come free with that information). But do you see the O's going for that instead of Kemp and Broxton?

"Officials of two clubs that have been in contact with the Mets used the same expression -- "in trouble" -- to describe their efforts to deal for a starting pitcher."

Well now that doesn't sound promising. Now we'll find out just how regarded the Mets prospects are with this Gomez offer. I for one will be surprised (albeit pleasantly) if the O's take the Gomez deal instead of the deal for a power hitter like Kemp and a power pitcher like Broxton (although stranger things have happened, like when Peter Angelos decided at the last minute not to trade Miguel Cabrera and cost the Mets Roy Oswalt.)

(Editor's update: Gee what a surprise, the Orioles turned the deal down.)

Get strummin', Omar.

If Looks Could Kill

I woke up on Tuesday, July 31st of 2007, thinking that there was a chance for it to be quite historic in the annals of baseball.

First it was trade deadline that came and went, with nary a whimper from the Mets during the last few hours...and I was flipping out in anger at my television. No, not because the Mets didn't trade anybody else. In fact, I was quite comfortable with the fact that the Mets didn't mortgage their entire future for Eric Gagne (although Gagne would have looked quite nice in a Mets uniform) or Chad Cordero (Jim Bowden probably tried to use his mind control on Omar Minaya thinking that he would fold like one of Jim Duquette's cheap suits, but to no avail...I kind of like Philip Humber anyway).

But because I had to listen to those boobs on Baseball Tonight for two and a half hours during their trade deadline special. (Just for clarification, I do not under any circumstances put Peter Gammons in the "boob" category...I like Peter Gammons and would gladly drink beer with him, so keep your complaints to yourself, please.) How John Kruk can go in front of a camera, brag about how Tad Iguchi is a winning player because he has a World Series ring, and then in the same breath tell us that Luis Castillo is just OK despite hitting 50 points higher than Iguchi and also having a World Series ring (I'm reminded that he was actually on the 1997 team, giving him two...two rings, which thanks to Toasty, strengthens my argument), while presenting himself as a non-biased observer of baseball absolutely escapes me. If the beer swiller would just take the Phillies pom-poms out from behind his desk and run around doing cartwheels chanting "Fricka Fracka Firecracka sis boom bah...Chase Utley Chase Utley RAH RAH RAH", I'd at least be happy that he wasn't putting on a front for the baseball loving American public.

But the moment when I wanted to throw a brick throughout the television was when former Mets GM (and current hall of hate member) Steve Phillips decided to add a little perspective to the trade deadline proceedings by letting loose with a story about how back in 2000 he was presented a ten player trade offer by Mark Shapiro with about 30 minutes left before the trade deadline, and by the way included Manny Ramirez, but he couldn't get ownership on the phone because there was two of them and he had to get approval and...

Excuses! You mean to tell me that Steve Phillips can't reach his ownership at a moments notice in the span of 25 minutes to get a trade approved? FOR MANNY RAMIREZ? Do you realize how different the 2000 World Series would have been with Manny Ramirez in the outfield? I need to be convinced right now that I don't want to punch Steve Phillips in the face...because unless the five names going back to Cleveland were Mike Piazza, Robin Ventura, David Wright, Jose Reyes, and the fetus of the next Hank Aaron, that's a fact I wish I never knew.

But then came tonight's game, and the hate that I feel for Phillips stands in awe to the hate that I feel for Guillermo Mota right now after he blew Tom Glavine's 300th victory (if you had Aaron Heilman in your "Who's Going to Blow Glavine's 300th Victory Pool" as I did, you lost), because Glavine's next shot at 300 comes on Sunday night, where this blogger has a previous engagement with the police...actually let me clarify: a previous engagement with The Police (capitalization is important here) and 76,000 of my closest friends.

Heck, forget me...how about the hate that Christine Glavine feels for Mota? Did you see the look she had on her face when Mota was walking off the mound? My crack staff heard an exclusive report that Christine Glavine was chasing Mota around the parking lot after the game (no word on whether Mike Piazza is laughing his ass off right now).

But give Christine Glavine's husband credit for going on the road, going to a place where he hasn't had a lot of recent success, and pitching his tail off (with help from Shawn Green and his sweet diving catch). It's a shame that the offense couldn't score a couple of more times for him, including on Green's double in the gap where I initially got really excited, and then gave up hope when I realized it was Carlos Delgado rounding third and heading home instead of a slightly faster runner like Luis Castillo...or Rusty Staub...or dirt. (Ask me, that was the turning point of the game right there...but nobody asked me.)

But who knew that it would get exciting after Glavine left. I mean, how about that catch by the man I like to call "Long Lastings Flavor" in the ninth...two men out and three men on...nowhere to look, but inside...where Lastings Milledge responds to pressure (cue the organs).

And how about Prince Fielder's two foul balls leading off the 12th which is straight out of every bad baseball movie you've ever seen (along with some good ones, I guess), before leading off with a single, setting up L.L.F.'s second diving catch to save the game in that inning? (So he misjudged the ball which forced him to dive...that's mere details my friends.)

How about another North American sighting of Moises Alou, as he stole a base in the 13th inning? When you add the stolen bases that Orlando Hernandez and Julio Franco have had this year, that means that the Mets have as many old people stealing as Enron did. Unlike Enron, Alou's thievery meant nothing.

Aaron "Doc Windgate" Sele continued the excitement by dancing in and out of trouble...until that unlucky 13th inning where Geoff Jenkins hit a frozen rope ending a night which not only saw history go down the tubes on all fronts, but a night where the Mets burned through their bullpen to the point where Thursday's starter Jorge Sosa had come in to pitch. What does that mean? Heck, it may mean that it's a good thing that Philip Humber wasn't traded, because we could see that young man on Thursday.

It also means that Christine Glavine is staring down Guillermo Mota all the way to Wrigley Field.