Hello? McFly?

"We don’t feel like we have to do a deal for a pitcher..." -Omar Minaya

Sure, that's what he says. And if you're a fan hearing that, you're probably tearing your hair out right now. But believe this: As Omar Minaya looks repeatedly at the picture in his jacket of all the aces posing on his front door fading away because he's increasingly coming to the point where he can't acquire any of them, you can bet that he's running around the Opryland Hotel performing his best guitar solos to try to get these GM's to hand over their aces.

The problem is that it is harder than it seems. Dontrelle Willis has faded from the picture completely as he's gone to Detroit along with Miguel Cabrera for the Tigers entire minor league system. Johan Santana is pretty much out of the picture himself, Dan Haren is being pursued hard by the Diamondbacks for some good prospects, and Erik Bedard is being chased hard by the Dodgers, as they may have offered Matt Kemp and Jonathan Broxton for him. Now Omar's first guitar solo is reportedly in the form of an offer Aaron Heilman, Carlos Gomez, and Phil Humber...which would be a steal if that happened (Steve Phillips reports that, so the grains of salt come free with that information). But do you see the O's going for that instead of Kemp and Broxton?

"Officials of two clubs that have been in contact with the Mets used the same expression -- "in trouble" -- to describe their efforts to deal for a starting pitcher."

Well now that doesn't sound promising. Now we'll find out just how regarded the Mets prospects are with this Gomez offer. I for one will be surprised (albeit pleasantly) if the O's take the Gomez deal instead of the deal for a power hitter like Kemp and a power pitcher like Broxton (although stranger things have happened, like when Peter Angelos decided at the last minute not to trade Miguel Cabrera and cost the Mets Roy Oswalt.)

(Editor's update: Gee what a surprise, the Orioles turned the deal down.)

Get strummin', Omar.

Agent Johnny

Do you know why I love Gilbert Arenas?

Because not only does the man they call "Agent Zero" go out and call his shots by predicting a 50 point game here and there, but he brings attention to himself in a humble, thoughtful way, and doesn't take himself too, too seriously.

But the man is driven. He calls his 50 point games against teams with coaches that snubbed him for the Olympic team. It's all in fun, but it's refreshing to see a professional athlete expose his motivation and have fun doing it. I don't really follow the NBA as much as I used to (partly because I'm a Celtic fan and there's only so many bad moves by Danny Ainge that I can take these days), but I know Gilbert Arenas because of his brash predictions, and because of his great blog.

In that spirit, I will say that John Maine needs to start a blog. He needs to come out and say that he is going to make it a personal mission to find out which coaches, and which players threw their votes to other pitchers for next week's all-star game with bigger names and less of a 2007 resume, and throw complete games and shutouts and no-hitters against these managers, players, and their teams for the rest of his career. And he should start a blog. He should start a blog to draw a little attention to himself. Heck, David Wright did it, and that's a guy who doesn't need the attention. John Maine, as evidenced by being shut out of the game for pitchers with more cache, obviously needs the attention. Because ten wins is obviously not going to do it.

Roy Oswalt made the all-star team in place of the injured John Smoltz, because Smoltz was a players' choice, and by rule if a players choice misses the game due to injury, the players with the next highest amount of players' votes goes in his place. You know Oswalt's stats, and you know Maine's stats. So obviously the players got it wrong. So where are the bushels of articles telling us how major league baseball players don't know how to pick an all-star team? I mean, every time the fans get one wrong because of the popularity of a player, everybody writes about how the fans should have their votes taken away, because baseball fans are an easy target. Well where are all these writers when the players obviously vote wrong, or vote for a more popular player rather than a player's body of work throughout the first half of the season...you know, the supposed criteria for making the all-star team?

Perhaps I shouldn't complain. After all, one could say that the only reason David Wright is the all-star starter is because he has more fans and plays in a market with a more rabid fan base than the third baseman who has better batting numbers than Wright, which is Miguel Cabrera. (although Wright has closed the once wide gap considerably in the last six weeks, and he does lead in steals, 18-0). But at least the players and managers get a chance to right that wrong. Who gets to check on mistakes that the players and Tony La Russa make?

Oh sure. Maine, if asked, would probably come out and say that it doesn't matter to him, and that all that counts is the team and their success. Cool. Not gonna argue with that. But how much fun is that, really? If John Maine came out and said that he's going to stick it to any and all that snubbed him for an all-star berth to a reporter, it would be a big controversy. But if he did it in a blog, he'd be eccentric and fun loving, like Gilbert Arenas. Where else but in the blog community can you say off the wall things and not be put in the looney bin for them? How do you think I've lasted this long without a trip to Bellevue?

And maybe he actually did pitch near flawless baseball for seven and 2/3's on Thursday because having Oswalt in the opposing dugout gave him his motivation. Then again, perhaps not. But where's the fun in that? How about a high hard one thrown towards the heads of everyone in the National League, in the form of a blog entry? Think about it, Agent Johnny...a blog called "Maine Attraction".

What? It's already taken? "Maine Street" is taken too? All right, we'll work on something together. Have your people call mine.

Sliding Bullpen Doors

Here's the answer:

Shawn Green hit a dramatic home run in the eleventh inning against the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 7 of the 2006 NLCS sending the Mets to the World Series, where they defeated the Tigers in five games. Yes?

What would have happened if Yadier Molina had been abducted by aliens off the side of I-10 in Reading, PA last October?

That's correct.

(And now your Final Jeopardy answer: Roy Oswalt for Aaron Sele. The question we were looking for was "What is a pipe dream?")

Monday night's Cardinals/Mets game...the first Cardinals/Mets at Shea Stadium since you know what...would have to go into the ninth tied at 1-1, wouldn't it?

It would have to feature Billy Wagner facing So Taguchi in the ninth inning, wouldn't it?

It would have to feature Aaron Heilman in any capacity, wouldn't it?

All that was missing was Guillermo Mota shaking off Paul Lo Duca.

It even had the Mets facing a dominant lefty Tiger. No, not Kenny Rogers, this time it was Mike Maroth...and dominant he was, if no longer a Tiger. And even though he never even pitched in last year's series, it was too close a call. It was still too much of a reminder of what could have been if, as the Jeopardy contestant said, Yadier Molina had been abducted by aliens (or injured, as he actually was).

But regardless of the fact that this outcome came eight months too late, the Mets will take it. They'll take the excellent bullpen work by Wagner, Heilman, and for pure level of difficulty: Pedro Feliciano and his Houdini act in the seventh inning, getting Scott Spiezio (oh, the pangs of reminder) to ground out back to the box and preserve the tie, and set up Shawn Green's 11th inning swing (which was reminiscent of a five year old with a new Nintendo Wii swinging with that exaggerated uppercut from his foul ball to his game winning walk off, but hey...whatever works.)

Here are some funny things to consider:

• Did you notice the home run swing is back around the same time as the hair?
• Would this home run have happened had Julio Franco not missed this game due to injury? Because you know that Franco would have been out there at first base instead of Green against a lefty had Franco didn't come down with a sore birth certificate...I mean, sore knee? (Well, seeing as if Shawn Green played right field and not first base as he did on Sunday...which confused me, then that blows the theory to smithereens. There's a second shooter though, and I'll find him gosh darn it.)

It's just more alternate endings to the fork in the road that is the life of a Met fan. Sore knees, Nintendo swings, alien abductions...they're all fun to wonder about. But you know that what really happens the rest of this season will be much more inventive and interesting than those fictional situations. The baseball gods wouldn't have it any other way.