Sunk-o On Cinco

Art Howe would probably say that Oliver Perez battled.

Then again, Art Howe would probably say the same thing about the moth that met its demise at the hands of my bedroom light bulb.

It only matters what Billy Wagner thinks at this point. And I can't imagine that Wagner would have a disparaging word about Ollie's effort on Monday night. After all, he did go six innings and saved the bullpen from everything except two innings. Of course, the six innings Ollie threw weren't particularly good, but we're in the realm of lowered expectations at this point for Perez. Five runs in six innings? He didn't have his best stuff, as evidenced by the bombs he gave up to Rafael Furcal, Blake "Don't Call Me Joyce" DeWitt and Matt Kemp, but in this era of lowered expectations for Perez, eating innings seems to be quite enough.

Hey, at least he battled. More than you can say for the Mets lineup, which did their best to help celebrate the 4,000th game in the history of Dodger Stadium by coming up with a single run (and don't worry ... if you didn't know you were watching a game at Dodger Stadium, SNY took every opportunity to mark the occasion with nice little vignettes scattered about the broadcast to help remind you). The same place that brought you Willie Davis, Orel Hershiser, and Hong-Chih Kuo, now brings you Chad Billingsley's second victory of the season, in which he ironically had 4 K's in Dodger Stadium Game 4K.

(Speaking of which, Dodger Stadium is supposedly undergoing a multi-million dollar renovation. For some reason, that includes trees and a big plastic deer in the bullpen. Because as you know, nothing says "Los Angeles" like the woods. Seriously, who gets paid to think of these things?)

Hello? McFly?

"We don’t feel like we have to do a deal for a pitcher..." -Omar Minaya

Sure, that's what he says. And if you're a fan hearing that, you're probably tearing your hair out right now. But believe this: As Omar Minaya looks repeatedly at the picture in his jacket of all the aces posing on his front door fading away because he's increasingly coming to the point where he can't acquire any of them, you can bet that he's running around the Opryland Hotel performing his best guitar solos to try to get these GM's to hand over their aces.

The problem is that it is harder than it seems. Dontrelle Willis has faded from the picture completely as he's gone to Detroit along with Miguel Cabrera for the Tigers entire minor league system. Johan Santana is pretty much out of the picture himself, Dan Haren is being pursued hard by the Diamondbacks for some good prospects, and Erik Bedard is being chased hard by the Dodgers, as they may have offered Matt Kemp and Jonathan Broxton for him. Now Omar's first guitar solo is reportedly in the form of an offer Aaron Heilman, Carlos Gomez, and Phil Humber...which would be a steal if that happened (Steve Phillips reports that, so the grains of salt come free with that information). But do you see the O's going for that instead of Kemp and Broxton?

"Officials of two clubs that have been in contact with the Mets used the same expression -- "in trouble" -- to describe their efforts to deal for a starting pitcher."

Well now that doesn't sound promising. Now we'll find out just how regarded the Mets prospects are with this Gomez offer. I for one will be surprised (albeit pleasantly) if the O's take the Gomez deal instead of the deal for a power hitter like Kemp and a power pitcher like Broxton (although stranger things have happened, like when Peter Angelos decided at the last minute not to trade Miguel Cabrera and cost the Mets Roy Oswalt.)

(Editor's update: Gee what a surprise, the Orioles turned the deal down.)

Get strummin', Omar.

Don't Worry, Lightning Never Strikes Twice...Er, Three, Er...Aah, Forget It!

Three pitches...

Three homers...

One stunned blogger.

I'm lost. I can't even fathom this right now. Three home runs on three straight John Maine pitches to the 7-8-9 hitters in the order?

On a team that came into the game second to last in all of baseball in home runs?

And the pitcher flips his bat after the third home run without eating the batters box in his next at-bat? Oh, and let me reiterate that the last time this guy hit a home run was high school.

High school?

The same pitcher that now has two career wins, and both against the Mets?

Dae Sung Kuo against the rest of the league, Hong Chih Kuofax against the Mets. Phenomenal.

It's gotten so bad that Hilary Swank doesn't want to be seen in her Mets hat anymore, as she was during Monday's game. Perhaps she used it to wipe Alyssa Milano's blood off the floor after a particularly heated Mets/Dodgers argument. Now that would be a more anticipated matchup than Jorge Sosa vs. Brad Penny.

But here's the good news, the Mets are on the cover of Sports Illustrated this week. At this point, what's left to jinx?