Sunday, July 23, 2006

Messing With Mother

Mother Nature: God! GOD!!!

God: What's the matter?

MN: Did you read this in today's paper? Willie Randolph pulled Orlando Hernandez back from the rain and the replacement won!

God: What's the big deal?

MN: Doesn't Willie Randolph realize you can't fool with me?

God: So how do you want to play it?

MN: Well this Hernandez character is going to go today because Randolph thinks today will be a better day than yesterday. This Willie Randolph needs to be taught a lesson. RAIN EVERY FIVE MINUTES!!!

God: Don't you think that's a little harsh?

MN: Well I'm pissed dammit!

God: Why does everybody want Me to damn things? I'm a busy deity...I have no time to run around going "damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn" all the time!

MN: Well some people need a little reminder that I cannot be avoided!

God: How about just a rain delay at the top to remind Willie that you're around? No use punishing the poor Mets fans with constant rain delays, right?

MN: You're right. They've suffered enough. One hour should be enough to foil this Orlando character.
And it almost was, as Hernandez continued his aversion to rain delays by giving up a home run to Lance Berkman in the first inning that is currently rolling along the Saw Mill Parkway. When a Preston Wilson home run followed, it looked like Chicago all over again. Mother Nature let out a chortle.

But Orlando Hernandez did mess with Ms. Nature, as he threw six scoreless frames after the Berkman bomb. The lineup, meanwhile, did just enough between Carlos Delgado's sac fly and Xavier Nady's three run jack to give the Mets their third straight win.

If you've woken up today to find that you're snowed in, you'll know why.

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