A Sledgehammer To The Solar Plexus

How much more are we supposed to take?

A thirty foot roller up the third base line wasn't enough, was it...

An interference call wasn't enough, was it...

An 11-10 loss in the ninth wasn't enough, was it...
A misplayed pop-up by a back-up catcher wasn't enough, was it...

A misplayed fly ball into center field wasn't enough, was it...

Guillermo Mota wasn't enough, was it...

Ten errors in two days wasn't enough, was it...

Yadier Molina, Terry Pendleton, Kevin Elster picking up black cats, Armando Benitez, Mike Scioscia, Tom Seaver for Doug Flynn, firecrackers, bleach, Mel Rojas, Don Aase, Larry Jones, Brian Jordan, Art Howe, Adam Wainwright, Jimmy Qualls...they're not enough, are they...

What else can you do to our hearts, minds, and souls this season?

Maybe as the Mets are headed to Dolphin Stadium tomorrow, Cecil Wiggins can finish the job.

Maybe Wiggins was the one that threw that baseball at Aaron Heilman from the stands (and through all of the horror, Heilman was a major bright spot...not even I could have blamed him if he had spit the bit after being hit by a projectile from the stands...I don't trust him, but I give him a boat load of credit tonight.) Or maybe Wiggins had something to do with Country Time's back spasms, which kept him out of the game and wound up sealing our fate for Thursday night...and maybe our season.

You know what, bring up last year's Tigers all you want. Bring up last year's Cardinals all you want. I can't imagine that either of those teams experienced any loss last year like any loss the Mets have had this year. Either of those teams ever score four runs in the top of the ninth, only to have their "B" list bullpen give it all back in the bottom half of the frame, then lose it in the tenth.

And I doubt that this happened after their first baseman proclaimed their team to be the best in the league.

I doubt either of those teams had a right fielder that hits his second baseman in the nuts with an errant throw, then gets himself tossed, and probably suspended for a few games, because he felt that late in a game that may decided the division was the perfect time to work through his anger issues with Jim Joyce.

And I doubt that Jim Leyland or Tony La Russa responded to any of those losses with:

"We'll get 'em tomorrow."

We'll get 'em tomorrow?

I don't know if there's a right thing to say after a game like that. But "we'll get 'em tomorrow?" Really? That's what your uncle told you after you struck out to end a little league game. This, however, is the major leagues...and that's not what I need to hear. I trust that the speech to the players was a little bit different...at least I hope.

We'll get 'em tomorrow? You know what I'm getting tomorrow? Therapy. I need it...thanks to your team stabbing me in my heart. Again. It's all I can do to keep from jumping off a tall building into jagged concrete...twice.

(Editor's note: If you must blow the lead completely, please make it relatively painless from here on out.)

Cheat Codes And Bourbon

It's almost as if whenever the Phillies play the Mets lately, they use some sort of Playstation cheat code to pull ahead at the end. But it's not the usual cheat. Because not even a video game has the kind of cheats that the Phillies have been employing lately. To the best of my knowledge, there's no "interference cheat" in these games. There's no "pitch through a foot injury" cheat.

And there's certainly no "get their catcher thrown out of the game so that his replacement can drop a foul ball to set up a sacrifice bunt which is thrown into center field..." cheat.

Which buttons on the controller do you have to push to activate that cheat? Is it the X, O, X, O, L1, L2, L1, L2, R3, Hokey Pokey buttons?

If anybody out there has an Philadelphia hex breaker that involves a twig, a back order copy of Baseball America, and a pint of bourbon, I suggest you use it before Saturday's game. And don't forget to hit that hokey pokey button and turn yourself around.

Viva Los Mets

Well that's a fine way to celebrate Butch Benton's 50th birthday.

One could look at "Los Mets" and think of tonight's Fiesta Latina. I look at those jerseys and think that they look like a mistake..."Oh snap, those Los Mets jerseys never arrived!!! Quick, let's sew the word 'Los' right here next to the word 'Mets', nobody will notice." Certainly, a jersey that says "Los Mets" could have been done a little better.

Another could look at "Los Mets" and think that it's merely the Wilpons floating a red herring out there so that if you squint, that "Los" would kind of remind you of the "Los Angeles" that the other team was wearing...and thus the Mets would look closer to the Dodgers and Fred would get all warm and fuzzy inside. Don't laugh, when the shrine to Ebbets Field opens in 2009, the Mets could have new uniforms that look like this:

But when I think of "Los Mets", I must forever think of David Wright, his home run, and his two unreal plays in the field in the same inning on Friday (one of the ESPY variety, switching direction off of a Perez deflection to barehand a tricky hopper and fire Andre Ethier out).

I will also think of Oliver Perez. No, he's not quite all the way back yet, but he's really close...and it's hard to argue with seven shutout innings. There were runners all over the place, but Perez's guile-o-meter is rising with every game.

I will also think of Billy Wagner. You know, he's scuffling, but I don't think he's that far off. He's been getting dinked and dunked, and the hardest ball hit off of him was probably Jeff Kent's sac fly for the second out (which, with Kent as the tying run, put my heart in my throat for a good five seconds). But he's close. You know, (facetiousness alert) today was probably the product of Wagner not having his full concentration in non-save situations as he has been known to have. I hope he doesn't get designated for assignment like somebody else in our division did, because Bob Wickman flat out didn't want to come in if it wasn't a save.

(Somehow I doubt Billy Wagner cares about such matters. After all to quote him: "F**k I'm 36 years old. I could care less, I'm out there battling and, it's just the best you can do. If I was real bad they would have scored four. So f**k, I've got that going for me." Actual quote, my friends. You go, Country Time.)

I'll think about Mike DiFelice going three for three and wonder just how long it will be before the pixie dust wears off on him (and whether pixie dust is a performance enhancing substance).

I'll think of the Geico Caveman, and how he enhances the Met game experience (and how he may look a little bit like Ricky Ledee).

But most of all, I'll think about gaining another game in the standings. Not only is Adrian Gonzalez is proving to be an equal opportunity heart breaker, but the Braves' lose a closer over some clubhouse issues. It was enough to bring this thought to my mind:

"I wonder if I should get a ticket to a late September game in case it's a clincher."

Too soon to think about that yet? Yeah, probably. But on the magic day that is not only Fiesta Latina, but Butch Benton's 50th birthday, I think I can let my mind wander a little bit.

Happy Birthday Butch, wherever you are. And Viva Los Mets.

Move Along, There's Nothing To See Here

Yes, 301 is a higher number than 300.

No, Mike DiFelice is not fast, despite his triple.

Yes, Moises Alou is still raking.

No, the Pirates couldn't be fair and break the Phillies' heart too.

Yes, Brandon Webb kept his scoreless streak alive, to our benefit.

No, the Mets are not knocking on death's door.

Yes, that double play was freaking awesome.

Bullpen Blows Up, But Who Lit The Fuse?

My initial reaction to Thursday's version of "Your Season Has Come, And It's Going to Rip Your Heart Out and Show It To You!" was to blow up as bad as the bullpen did in the seventh inning and go ballistic on the food poisoning twins as I have done before, but the Libra in me has decided to be fair and analytical about this latest loss and look at it from both sides, especially since my Friday piece on Flushing University is all about not getting too angry and to try to enjoy this pennant race we're in (I was putting the finishing touches on it when the Mets were up 7-3, what can I say?) So here now, are both sides of tonight's coin (both, unfortunately, come up tails):

In Defense of Aaron Heilman:

Those who are regulars here at my virtual barstool know that I'm not a Willie-Basher. I'm a firm believer that even if you have no business being in a ballgame, you have to go at it the very best you can when you get in there. Sure, there's some extreme circumstances, but very rare is the manager who will make a dumb move like put in a pitcher seventeen days in a row including off days (at least this side of Dallas Green.) So if you're in there, you have to get the job done.

That being said, if Jorge Sosa wasn't going to be available for you (and he shouldn't have been since he's already pitched in four of the last five games), then you had to find a way to get Brian Lawrence in for the sixth inning. Sure, I understand the desire to have Ruben Gotay pinch hit with the sacks full to blow the game open...and frankly, that takes some guts to do that up 7-3. But to try to play Russian Roulette with Mota for two innings, and then when that doesn't work, only use Pedro Feliciano for a batter, and then basically run out of options and force yourself to ask Heilman to get six outs (and start that journey with runners on first and second), you're not putting your team in the best position to win.

Look, Heilman is a one inning horse, as proven by some guy named Molina...I forget which one. Mota's best role is pitching in the bullpen exclusively and never on the actual field. And if I may be frank with you, the way the Mets are using Pedro Feliciano is kinda creepin' me out. How Mota gets to pitch all this time and Feliciano doesn't leave the bullpen for a week is scaring me. Does Feliciano need a "Joe Smith" type rest? Is he mentally drained? Physically drained? Physically hurt? An emotional wreck ever since Pirate Master got cancelled? I don't understand it at all...and I'm not sure I want to.

But managing yourself into a corner and force Aaron Heilman to try to get six outs is not good baseball. And that's not Heilman's fault.

In Persecution of Aaron Heilman:

Physical errors happen. David Wright throwing one into right field while charging a ball is going to happen (especially to Sugar Pants). Mike DiFelice dropping a throw from right field happens every now and again (even though DiFelice has been ready to catch since birth, but I'm too old to split hairs.)

But one of the tests of a good pitcher is whether he has the intestinal fortitude to bounce back when you make a good pitch but your defense lets you down. Are you mentally tough? We got one hint of the kind of mental state Heilman was in when he fielded Jose Bautista's sacrifice bunt and pumped to third base even though he had no shot at third base, and allowed Bautista to reach first and load the bases.

So what does Heilman do after Wright's error? Toughen up and get the next man out? No, he gives cookies to Adam LaRoche and Jason Bay for them to pound on like chop meat. Was it the off shoot of being in the game longer than usual? Or is it a case of not having the mental toughness that a big game reliever should have? Unfortunately, you never quite know with Heilman. Maybe Heilman does have some bulldog in him. You would never tell though past the hangdog look on his face and his not-so-secret desire to be a starting pitcher. Maybe it's unfair to bring that up every time he blows a game, but if you make a mental mistake like pumping to third on a beautiful sac bunt, then one has to wonder.

So there you have it. I've been fair. You decide which side of the worthless coin that you're putting yourself on. I, meanwhile, will try to find some loose change in the wall by banging my head against it.

I Feel Much Better Now

"I've been ready to catch since birth."

That's good. Because I've only been ready to blog since 3:30 in the morning. And this was the best I could come up with.

Insurance...What A Concept!

You would think that a leaping amazing catch at a wall containing the logo of a now famous insurance company would have put a collective thought in the heads of the team that benefited from said catch.

AIG, in fact, stands for: Ain't Insurance runs Grand?

Ain't It Grand to be able to go into a late inning and be able to breathe...regardless of the fact that Jose Reyes had to kick Matt Treanor in the head to do it? Because it's not necessarily the clutch ninth inning come from behind win that's going to convince Met fans that their team is back...no, it's wins like today where you have chances to put a team away and you score five runs in the eighth inning (two home runs by Moises Alou don't hurt none either). They made the most of that chance today, unlike past games where they've had chance after chance to deliver the knockout blow and instead let teams hang around until they can break their hearts (see: Friday and Saturday).

But of course, with every silver lining comes a dark cloud (you like how I flipped that one on you, don't ya? You see, the usual phrasing is...ah, forget it). As soon as the Mets put Paul Lo Duca on the DL despite Lo Duca claiming he's healthy and feels great (after what's happened to Endy Chavez, I don't think I would take a chance, either), Fluff Castro comes up with "lower back discomfort", exposing the Mets to the musical stylings of Mike DiFelice.

Yes boys and girls, Mike DiFelice, until further notice, is the starting catcher for the New York Mets. If there is a silver lining to that dark cloud (oh, the phrasing equivalent of the double reverse! You can't stop me...you can only hope to contain me in a nut house somewhere) is waiting to see Willie Randolph justify batting DiFelice ahead of Lastings Milledge in the lineup. The anticipation is killing me.

Channeling The Wrong Spirits

Aaron Heilman can't even hold a seance the right way.

In his fervor to channel the spirit of Don Drysdale, instead he has let the aura of Doug Sisk waft through him. (Perhaps he failed to use the "rap once for yes, rap twice for no" system.) And because of which, the Mets dropped the final game of their four game series against Philadelphia, 5-3...with the difference being the two runs Heilman gave away in the seventh. One on a home run to a guy that's 180 lbs. with a piano on his back, and the other one on an Aaron Rowand liner that made Heilman look like Charlie Brown.

I will not kill Mike Pelfrey...by all rights and purposes, it was a hard luck "L" that was hung on him today with David Wright's error being the margin of loss for Pelfrey. I would, however, have hoped that Mike DiFelice would have taught him to be a little more economical with his pitches.

I can't even kill the Mets lineup for not putting the hammer down on a third rookie, this one being Kyle Kendrick...a better brand of rookie than those faced earlier. Although Carlos Beltran could have traveled a lot further towards that cause by not hitting into a double play in the first inning. But Kendrick made pitches when he had to.

Heilman though, does not get off easy this time. Guillermo Mota is struggling, and he had a scoreless inning today. Scott Schoeneweis? Mets fans want his head on a platter. And he pitched a scoreless frame today. Heilman, the meat in that sandwich, was undercooked. The pain is very raw. If you are going to channel a spirit, please let it be someone with more movement on their pitches.

(Editor's note: Doug Sisk is not dead...only his career.)