It Protects You From Swinging

David Wright: Hey Frenchy, you see this?

Jeff Francoeur: What?

DW: It's a new batting helmet ... it's supposed to protect you from 110 mile per hour fastballs. Not even Tim Lincecum can kill you.

JF: No way. I'm not wearing that.

DW: Why not?

JF: I'm just not wearing it. Absolutely not.

DW: But it's safer!

JF: I could care less what they say, I’m not wearing it. There’s got to be a way to have a more protective helmet without all that padding.

DW: But how can you have a helmet that protects you without padding?

JF: They could have satellites in space so that when a fastball comes near your head, it shoots lasers at it and obliterates it.

DW: Dude, the Wilpons aren't paying for a satellite to protect your head so don't even think about it.

JF: Well I don't care, I'm not wearing it.

DW: But what if a fastball comes at your head?

JF: What does it matter? I'm going to swing at it anyway.

DW: That's insane.

JF: You only get hits when you swing, dude.

DW: You should really think about wearing this helmet.

JF: We'll look like clowns out there.

DW: As opposed to how we look now at 52-61?

JF: I'm not going out there looking like Stan, Kyle, and Cartman from the Child Abduction episode.

DW: Do you realize that we play for a franchise that once took the field looking like this:

JF: We had Orel Hershisher?

DW: Frenchy, wear the helmet.

JF: No way dude. I'm not going out there looking like that.

DW: Dude,


JF: Oh that was like forever ago.

DW: All right suit yourself. Hey inning's over, let's get out there.

...

Cory Sullivan: Frenchy, look out!

JF: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!


DW: See, told you.

JF: Where am I?

DW: You're in Washington, you were just hit in the head by a fly ball.

CS: Do you know who you are?

JF: No, what's my name?

CS: You're Je ...

DW: VLADIMIR GUERRERO!

CS: Dude, really?

DW: Shut up Cory.

JF: You know, they should really let us wear helmets in the field.