Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Disaster Looms

In this atmosphere of former Yankees choke slamming GM's, and current superstars shoving traveling secretaries, my only question after tonight's comedy of errors is this:

When is that New York Mets clubhouse brawl coming?

Because you know that when the final piece of evidence that this team is a lifeless mess finally comes, it's not going to be something simple like a chokeslam or a shove. Oh no, the apocalypse of the '08 Mets is going to be on a grander scale because everything is done bigger in New York anyway. Oh, it may start with something small ... like Carlos Delgado reminding John Maine how to execute the perfect pickoff throw. Or Maine politely telling Luis Castillo that he shouldn't get his fielding fundamentals from the Ron Hextall Defensive Drills tape.

Or it might start with Snoop Manuel going "gangster" and actually cutting Jose Reyes. Or Reyes throwing his glove at Carlos Delgado's head. Or Tony Bernazard invading a players only meeting with nunchuks, wondering why nobody can hit Kyle Lohse (who it bears mentioning is 10 and freakin' 2). But when it happens, it's going to be huge. And make no mistake, when you pour an underachieving team into a pot and mix it with a bitter fan base and let a relentless media horde turn up the heat to about 450, it's going to happen. Only question is when. Maybe after this Cardinals series, which ... with Tony Armas Jr. starting tomorrow, and the unhittable albatross from last September Joel Piniero ... is already shaping up to be a disaster. But the explosion is coming.

(Editor's note: Any guesses on which blogger will play the part of the drunk at the :47 mark?)

13 comments:

Unser said...

I turned the game off after Castillo's error. It was only the second inning and they already looked beaten. No point wasting my night watching that display.

Any idea why they're going with Armas tonight?

katherine said...

Shades of September 07 - I tried watching the Cardinals broadcasters - too painful. Listened to Howie and Wayne for an inning or two (Wayne, who I praised earlier, is getting way too chatty), finally, I was reduced to box score watching, and just imagining all the awful things that must be happening.

Metstradamus, I hope there is a big brawl in which some formerly quiet and unassuming player, like Damion Easely, maybe, runs totally AMOK. Even if it didn't turn the season around in a Hollywood sort of way, it would at least be entertaining.

Jaap said...

a brawl would require some passion. I don't think this team has any of that. More likely they'll just continue slinking around until they get released, traded or opt for a year on the DL.

Anonymous said...

bwahaha. new york libs have no chance in the heartland.

Anonymous said...

The Mets should sign Baba Booey!

His giant green teeth could bat leadoff and his lips and bad breath could bat cleanup and drive them home!

Schneck said...

It is time for the Mets to find a way to pull together and I have just the way. We can call it the Reyes Malaise displays. At the end of every inning each player, in unison, throws down his glove and any other immediately removable attire. It will bring them together and show how much they all care.

Rickey Henderson said...

Agreed, it's time for some catharsis. Rickey is also rooting for a brawl featuring Ramon Castro. Dude's a bruiser.

M. Patel said...

You just had to refer to Chacon as an ex-Yankee didn't you :p. As for when the Mets are going to battle, I'd say you are safe for now since the organization did something by firing Randolph (although in reality, it doesn't fix anything, they just made it look like it does.)If the Mets keeps losing games then it's another story. Just my opinion, I'm not a Met expert so don't take it too seriously :)

By the way would it be too much to ask to change the blogroll link for my yankees blog to www.nycurve.com? I also wanted to thank you for linking to my blog and if I ever add a Mets blogroll on my site I will be sure to include you right away :)

katherine said...

I have been looking forward all day to saying:

Good night, Jimmy Bob

Helo said...

I see Anon is now a Cards fan. If so, can you tell us why the Cardinals fans are the absolutely whitest fans on the face of the Earth?

Jeez, really. You look into the stands watching them cheer and see all those faces clad head to toe in red and you realize the only ethnic diversity in the ballpark is on the field and dugout.

Anonymous said...

your racist post speaks wonders about your character

Tell us what artificial diversity would you like to insert into this 'evil' 'white' audience?

" Helo said...
I see Anon is now a Cards fan. If so, can you tell us why the Cardinals fans are the absolutely whitest fans on the face of the Earth?

Jeez, really. You look into the stands watching them cheer and see all those faces clad head to toe in red and you realize the only ethnic diversity in the ballpark is on the field and dugout."

12:51 AM

helo said...

I didn't say evil - just way, way white- to the point where you have to wonder who they are tailoring their marketing efforts to.

But please, don't think about it seriously, just go ahead and play the "race card" card again.

I'm making an observation, not a prejudgment.

Anonymous said...

helo = typical new york liberal.

Blinded by their own sense of self-righteousness they cannot see their own hypocrisy and bigotry.

bwahahaha. just classic.