Thursday, June 21, 2007

Pig Beautification

"Oh the Butcher and the Baker and the people on the street...Where do they go?"
To beat the Mets!

At Shea Stadium.

Apparently.

At least that's where the Baker goes. That's where Scott Baker goes...you know, the rookie who came into the game with an ERA over seven, and probably needed to come up with a decent game to keep his spot in the starting rotation. As in, the guy that the Mets had a civic duty to pound all the way back to American Legion ball on Wednesday.

Yeah, that guy.

The Mets did manage seven hits in five innings, but just two runs which was not quite enough to overcome Oliver Perez's start...which featured five hits, four runs and five walks in just over five innings. The bullpen failed to keep the Mets close to the Twins, and yet another series goes by with the Mets being on the short end.

The John Rocker Appreciation Society and the Blunt Cigars both lost as well on Wednesday, so at the pig that was Wednesday's game is equipped with lipstick. (Did you know that lipstick is made that contains pigments? So it's like putting pigments on a pig!) But 3-13 since June 2nd is a pig that needs lipstick, rouge, foundation, exfoliating products, laser hair removal, corrective eye surgery, and perhaps the odd shower to get it looking healthy and clean again.

Or maybe the pig just needs one of these, one of these, or perhaps one of these. That'll do, pig. That'll do.

6 comments:

Unser said...

Dunn is intriguing to me. We've got a major power outage. I'm beginning to believe that Delgado will not improve significantly. That middle of the order is too weak.

A starter is a must too. And hey, Willie, have we finally determined that Schoenweis is not reliable in any game which is remotely close?

JMP said...

Is the Rick Down watch on yet?

Nothing gets a team's attention like firing the hitting coach!

ps. Joe Smith has come back down to earth, too :(

Jeffrey said...

fire Rick Down (now hitting coach)
move HoJo (1st base coach) to hitting coach
make Rickey Henderson (why Jose Reyes can steal so well) the 1st base coach

JMP said...

I hear Wally Backman's looking for work. He's currently managing some travelling/barnstorming baseball team out West.

Anonymous said...

Rick Down? Heck, why not fire Willie?

MicalPalyn said...

I think this next 2 weeks will be pivotal. Some bullpen moves need to be made, and Willie needs to get over his rookie induced flatulence and let Gomez play.