Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Oh Sorry, It's An Environmental Storage Cooler

It still doesn't work.

The Mets are immune to the glorified keg cooler.

Before Dave Williams even took the mound tonight, the Mets were flipping the bird to the humidor for the second straight night...featuring the return of David Wright to the realm of the round trippers with a grannie to make it a 4-0 lead. Jose Valentin added a solo HR, first of two on the night, to make it 5-0. And once again, short of John Elway coming out of the dugout to pinch hit, this was another game the Rockies weren't going to win.

Starting in that bottom of the first, we learned a lot about starting pitcher Dave Williams. We learned that Dave Williams thinks that baserunners can get away with the neighborhood play (no Dave, that's just middle see, pitchers not only have to bat in the National League, they have to touch all of the bases as well.) We learned that Dave Williams was born in Alaska. We learned that Dave Williams' favorite team growing up was the Seibu Lions.

We know more about Dave Williams than perhaps any normal human being really should know.

We also learned that Dave Williams is yet another in a long line of Omar Minaya pick ups that can contribute some important innings for the Mets. So let the pundits all hammer home the company line about the Mets not having enough starting pitching to get themselves through the playoffs. Because you know the Reds could use a guy like Dave Williams right about now. (Instead, he'll be in Norfolk until Tuesday)

But let's not forget the man lovingly called Sugar Pants...not only for the grand slam, but for his opposite field R.B.I. single to drive in a run which told the world "Hey! I'm going Dave Kingman on yo' ass tonight!" Let's not forget Wright's brilliant defensive play down the line in the bottom of the fifth which was part Brooks Robinson and part Brandon Inge (you don't see those two in the same sentence every day). Lest we forget that David Wright is our matinee idol, which is the perfect tie-in to what you've all been waiting for: the magic number!

P.S. Kudos for Gary Cohen for not playing the role of appeaser to all of the rich folk who pay eighteen dollars for a hamburger (with no bun please, I'm watching my caaaaaarbs) at the U.S. Open by basically telling the world that nobody cares about tennis anymore...which exposed his disdain for the sport as presently constituted. And though we like and respect the work of USA announcer and former Met voice Ted Robinson (at least Gary, Keith, and myself do...I will not speak for you), I take this opportunity to applaud Gary for telling it like it is. Tennis is a fine sport, but the U.S. Open with its sushi and its vegetable friendly menu and its pretentious opening ceremonies and its prime time finals and its players that wear evening gowns while playing (attractive though they may be) has gotten way out of control. And answer me this, Billie Jean (since you're a baseball expert now), why is it that Met fans have to constantly hear this garbage about "Oh, take the's going to be crowded because of the U.S. Open." Hey tennis fans, allow me to present to you a collective "screw you!" We are here six months out of the year, you're here two weeks.



Jaap said...

Fortunately immune to the airwaves carpet bombing of US Open news over here, I struggle to imagine the breadth of tennis coverage in the middle of the Mets' strongest run of the season. In England, even Wimbledon was relegated to the back pages because of the World Cup. Why is Billie Jean King given a microphone to prattle on about baseball? Where are Keith Hernandez's comments when you need them?

Anonymous said...

I always liked Ted Robinson... he was a little weaselly looking but, hey, Gary Cohen ain't no looker either.

I for one always love the U.S. Open because it reminds me of so many Autumns full of promise and cable in the freshman dorm room and thinking that life really was laid out on a buffet. Unfortunately, I've never had the $250 to actually attend one.

You didn't mention it in your post, but according to, Alfonzo is gonna be the call up when Williams goes down with the idea being that he can give David Wright a day off or two and provide decent defense at 3B (even if he can't hit anymore).

Well... I'm still a week away from being back home in front of the MLB Extra Innings package, but I just hope they don't put Fonzie in before I can be in front of the tube to enjoy the magic of modern technology vicarious goosebumps.

How much would you love to see Fonzie get a New York Mets World Series ring for 2006? He deserves it.

Toasty Joe said...


As I understand it, Reyes didn't get a double because Williams never made it to third base (he didn't touch it) - this he was technically "still on second," so both he and Reyes cannot occupy second at the same time, so Reyes only gets a single. Kapice?

Anonymous said...

Fonzie's coming up . . . we all saw that one coming. Who's your guess for removal from the 40-man roster? Must be Tucker. That spot start last night was Willie's kiss of death - remember what happened to Eli Marrero? As soon as he was announced as a pinch hitter, you knew he was gone the following day.

MD - no thoughts on the departure of Victor Diaz? Vic, we hardly knew ya! Loved that 3-run pop against LaTroy a few years ago - nothing like adding to Cubs' misery.

Anonymous said...

You know, the hell with it. I'm driving to Shea, just cause Gary Cohen says not to.

Who's with me?

Anonymous said...

If Reyes ends the season either one double, one triple, or one RBI short of some milestone, Dave "Lonnie" Williams will never hear the end of the ribbing.

Metstradamus said...

Unser I did mean to mention Diaz...perhaps tonight.

Ed in Westchester said...

Billy Jean King has no business talking about the new stadium name.

And the Post should shut up about it as well.

I hope Fred doesn't do it, just to piss them all off.

Mookie McFly said...

I actually took Keith's recco and switched over to the US Open after the game ended. It was a great match despite the snobbery and I was happy for Agassi to win...but then Jonny Mac came out and did this whole long speech thing kissing Andre's ass and it was broadcast in the stadium. It reminded me why I hate him especially but also why I think tennis is gay. Can't the guy just wave to the crowd and walk off...where is the need for an on court interview after the match that is broadcast over the PA the second round?