The Musings and Prophecies of Metstradamus: Derek Nathaniel Bell Would Like To Wish You a Merry Christmas

WHAT THE CRITICS ARE SAYING ABOUT "THE MUSINGS AND PROPHECIES OF METSTRADAMUS

"Well, there's 5 mins I won't ever get back in my life. Was it supposed to be funny?" -Matty

"Drop your skirt and climb down off the table already."-Dave Crockett

"Could we be anymore dramatic? Relax,the sky is not falling..."-Steve

"Some times you have to let it go Mr. Testosterone."-Anonymous

"With all due respect, shut up."-anonymous

"Metstra, hardly a collapse you dumbass"-Mark

"You're an idiot...How about being partial in your reproting. Who are you John Sterling"-anonymous

"This post was stupid and pointless...What on earth did this display except that you're cranky?"-anonymous

"You write a lot. What's with that?"-Jen Gyllenhaal (No relation, I think)

"Did you spend thanxgiving over @ Michael Irvin's house????"-Jabair

"What is wrong with you? I've got to put you out of your misery..."-Darth Marc

"For a good time, call Mr. Met. 718-577-TIXX"-Mr. Met

"Go to hell."-Erica

"You Bastard!"-Erik Love

"I want this guy dead."-frozeropes, a quote taken shamelessly out of context

"I threw up just a little bit in my mouth."-my brother

"As someone who loves holiday song parodies, this gets a big-time thumbs up."-Mark Simon

"Bite me."-Mario

"Photoballs? Bleeping photoballs?"-Greg Prince

"Sometimes a franchise just has a big, black mark over it and no amount of wishful thinking can turn the tide..."-Jaap Still

"Brilliant use of an instructional picture book."-Kyle in Newport News

"Does Met$tra have a gambling problem?"-Erik Love

"Hasta la vista baby. I throw up the white flag."-Joe

"I'm still a fan, but enough is enough."-Meet the Mets

"I watch the grass grow - it's more exciting."-David

"Freaking Chipper Jones. I HATE Freaking Chipper Jones."-Dave Murray

"Good God man, what have you done??!! You've released the genie from the bottle. I see the showers and toilets backing up at Shea, emergency landings at LGA, unusual tides in Flushing Bay, and when they break ground for the new stadium the construction gang will unearth and disturb some ancient Indian burial ground for unlucky and cursed members of the Iroquois nation...Blaspheme no more Metstradamus! You are tempting the fates!"-The Metmaster

"Nobody told me this was Christmas. If this is Christmas, somebody better let me know. If this is Christmas, Santa better eliminate me out of the list and go ahead and do what he's going to do with me. I ain't never been naughty and I never will. If I gotta bribe Santa with cookies, then he can give me coal. I ain't baking cookies and burning my fingers begging this Santa Claus for a gift. If it is [Christmas], then I'm going into 'Operation Red Sleigh Down.' Tell them exactly what I said. I haven't bought gifts since 1991."

***

Thanks to IMFM for the inspiration, and the picture.

Thanks to all of you for stopping by, and please have a very happy and safe holiday season.

And most of all, thanks to Derek Bell for being Derek Bell, for waiting until after the 2000 season to go into "Operation Shutdown", and for taking such an awesome picture.

Put me in coach
I'm ready to play ... today
Put me in coach
I'm ready to play, today ...
Look at me
I could be
Derek Bell

-Bastardized version of John Fogerty's Centerfield, sung by myself and my brother on the way home from Opening Day 2000, where Derek Bell was nice enough to hit a home run against San Diego.

6 comments:

upstate met fan said...: Omar killed Santa on his way to Shea....!!!; 11:18 PM
MetFanMac said...: Happy Hanukkah!; 2:02 AM
Coop said...: Merry New Year Metstradamus!; 10:16 AM
I.M. Forme said...: happy holidays! and thanks for another year of yuks.

if you don't get pulitzer consideration for breaking the jessica simpson story it's a derek bell level crime!; 12:11 PM
Metstradamus said...: Oh I've gotten consideration all right...looney bin consideration.; 4:00 PM
The Glider said...: Is that an orange jump suit David Bell is wearing?; 11:28 PM