Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Joke Of The Day

Q: Why did Brian McNamee inject Roger Clemens with steroids in his buttocks?

A: To prove he had better aim than Shawn Estes.

I'm sorry. That's, like, the worst joke ever. Look, it's almost four in the morning and I'm trying to keep my mind off the fact that Kris Benson is probably going to pitch a no-hitter against the Mets this season after he signs with the Nationals. I'm in need of some cough syrup and some Tums, thus my jokes remain simplistic, one-dimensional, and not very good. Not to mention cheap at the expense of Shawn Estes. I'm just bitter that there's no Shawn Estes jerseys on eBay for the Christmas season. Please forgive me. I'm a mere product of society.

15 comments:

Demitri said...

Way to go to dig up that pic. I bet its hard to find any evidence that Shawn Estes ever played for the Mets.

Since the Mets are interested in Prior, why not pursue Benson as well?

They could construct a similar incentive based contract, full of milestones, and caveats (Anna must move to the South Pole for instance...)

upstate met fan said...

Beson will throw a no hitter.. LoDuca will hit a grand slam and Milledge will hit for the cycle.. all in the same game, guaranteed.

katherine said...

Well at least the outing of Clemens' steroid use has allowed for a public re-evaluation of the aiming-at-Piazza's-head and bat-throwing incidents and placed them in proper perspective. Does anyone know why he hated Piazza so much? I never understood that. It can't have JUST been steroid-induced psychosis, there must have been something personal behind it?

I apologize if the the answer to this question is something obvious that everyone but me knows.

Inser said...

MD - no Roger Clemens on the hate list? I figured he would break the record for most weeks on the list this winter. Sort of like the "Thriller" of the MD hate list.

Demitri said...

I remember some game(s) in the 2000 season where Piazza really killed Clemens, some key home runs. For a while he couldn't get Piazza out.

It seems that Clemens got back on the HGH at some point after that.

There was a press connference before the game after the head beaning where Piazza made a statement (I'm paraphrasing here) "If you can't get me out, you have to try and hurt me."

katherine said...

Demitri - I don't think HGH is known to have psychiatric side effects - if the incidents were caused, or exacerbated by substance use, then it would have been the testosterone-like steroids.

This is not meant to be a reflection on all you peace-loving men out there, but from what I can tell, only the male-type steroids cause roid rage, not HGH.

Though I did find a scary long list of side effects of HGH abuse - it's not totally benign. One interesting thing - it can cause increased head circumference.

Metstradamus said...

Inser (Although I think you're Unser), I haven't been updating the hate list regularly. But I'm getting set to do so...and I have a feeling that Thriller is in jeopardy.

UNser said...

Inser . . . yikes. I wrote that before I had my morning coffee.

And to Katherine and Demitri, yes, Piazza owned Clemens before "the beaning" - I seem to remember that Piazza was something like 7 for 12 with 3 or 4 homers against Clemens.

Metstradamus said...

Unser's right. Piazza was hitting in the .400's against Clemens, with at least 4 or 5 home runs.

katherine said...

hmmmm - increased head circumference - has anyone taken a close look at Mr Met lately?

Metstradamus said...

Hey, Mr. Met's HGH used was under the supervision of a doctor to treat his "condition".

kyle in newport news said...

Are you kidding? That joke was fantastic! It took me back to that fun-filled day when, to quote the FOX announce, "Estes didn't hit Clemens--he HIT him!!!"

"When asked about the 80-mph pitch that brushed the batting gloves hanging out of Roger Clemens's back pocket in the Mets-Yankees game on June 15th, Shawn Estes answered, 'I missed my spot. I didn't execute my pitch.' Estes went on to say that we could draw our own conclusions, and if you subscribe to the same school of thought as my father and I, the only logical conclusion is that Estes missed Clemens on purpose. The school of thought goes something like this: If a pitcher cannot hit Roger's rump, he does not belong in Major League Baseball."
--from the article I wrote protesting Bob Watson's $3000 fine of Mr. Estes

Demitri said...

Maybe Clemens rage was all natural? Its entirely possible that he's an asshole.

Before the steroid allegations, that was my original diagnosis.

MetFanMac said...

Well Clemens has now officially gone on record saying he Did Not do It. Which means he's either a) an asshole or b) a liar or c) both.

"I am disappointed that my 25 years in public life have apparently not earned me the benefit of the doubt." Barry Bonds has been around for as long as you, Roger, and he has much more records and awards. I think I'll pick choice c).

JeterBoy said...

The report says that Clemens was injected with anabolic steroid....I believe testosterone related and not HGH which may explain the bad behavior. As a Yankee fan I recall that they won in spite of Clemens in 1999. I believe they stuck him in Game 4 of the World Series against Atlanta. 2000 was a critical season where fans expected him to "become a Yankee". Instead he got lit up by Piazza and others resulting in the beaning and the bat incident in the World Series which now looks like roid rage (at the time it looked like stupid behavior). Clemens put together some great games once the took the roids in 2000 and likely beyond. Cy Youngs and perhaps one of the most dominant playoff games ever pitched against the 114 win Mariners in the 2001 ALCS. I'd like to try a draw a distinction between Pettite and Clemens but it probably come off as condoning the use of HGH to come back from injury to help the team as opposed to anabolic which would be used to enhance performance. Either way, I'm glad Pettite owned up to everything....its more than 90% of those implicated have owned up to.