Saturday, May 19, 2007

Counting Chickens

I learned last year not to count my chickens before they hatch...or in some cases even after they hatch.

The only proof you need is the 4-0 lead the Mets had on the Yankees last July 2nd in the Bronx, with David Wright batting against Ron Villone with the bases loaded. Villone had come in to the game after an early hook to Jaret Wright, and Wright had a chance to put the hammer down early in the game. Villone struck out Wright, and the Yankees wound up winning the game 16-7.

So here we were today, Darrell Rasner (who looks and pitches a little too much like Fresno Bobby Jones if you ask me), gets the early hook because of an Endy Chavez comebacker that fractured his finger, and in comes a man who had never made an appearance before the third inning in his career. As if the Yankees pen could get any more tired, here was a golden opportunity for the Mets to...once again...put the hammer down with David Wright at the plate after the Mets had tied the game.

One chicken...two chickens...

No, stop it. I will not count my chickens. But this time, Wright blasts one off of Myers for a 3-1 Mets lead and I'm starting to feel good. I'm feeling better after Wright hit his second home run off Myers in the third to give the Mets a 6-2 lead, and Luis Vizcaino coming in to burn out his arm.

Three chickens...four chickens...

Enough! The score becomes 8-2 with Glavine cruising along for an easy route to his 295th career win, and it officially becomes safe to bring in Scott Schoeneweis. He gives up one of Glavine's runs for an 8-3 lead...but even Mr. Met is counting his chickens. After the third run scored, you can clearly see Mr. Met twirling his finger around in the universal sign for "whoop-de-damn do". So after seven innings, either a five run lead is too large to blow, or the umpires are surely going to call this game because it's raining pretty hard. So it's safe now, right? I can resume counting?

Five chickens...six chickens...Alex Rodriguez hits a home run, oh it's a fluke...seven chickens...eight chickens...Jorge Posada hits another home run off Schoeneweis...nine chickens...ten chickens...Bobby Abreu walks off of Schoeneweis who has fallen behind every hitter since I started counting my chickens...

That's it! All of you damn chickens can now officially get the hell out of my yard!!!

For those of you who wonder why I find FOX more intolerable than ESPN need only look at today's eighth and ninth innings After lying in the weeds during an 8-3 game, all of a sudden it's 8-6 with Aaron Heilman coming in to face the Face of FOX, and here comes all those Derek Jeter video montages, and let's play that Joe Torre "This team has fight" quote and show Schoeneweis getting rocked again...and then Joe Buck lays down all those Derek Jeter stats like "He has more hits than anyone not named God", and "Derek Jeter has a lifetime batting average of 2,ooo", and my favorite "Derek Jeter's VORP is in triple digits!"

And then the ninth inning, after Robinson Cano's 17th error of the game made it 10-6, let's drum up those flashbacks of Country Time blowing that four run lead last season and see if he'll do it again. And here we go again with Yankee this and Yankee that and you thought that Michael Kay and Suzyn Waldman were in the booth and on and on and on and on and on and then Billy Wagner finally gets that last out and suddenly the only words that Buck can think of to say is:

"Mets win."

Now that I feel better, let's see...where was I? Eleven chickens...twelve chickens...Tyler Clippard pitching for the Yankees on Sunday night...thirteen chickens...fourteen chickens...

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck Fox 5, I agree with you completely. I was thinking the same thing watching the game. They clearly wanted the Yankess to win. Why do they give a crap either way?

Sweep!

Anonymous said...

Look at the two psycopathic owners, George (Yankees) and Rupert (Fox). The magnetic draw between these two has to do with politics, cronyism and back patting.

On to more important gossip..does anybody have more news on the Waldman/Russo dust-up today?

LET'S GO METS!!!

Metstradamus said...

They fought to a draw. No punches were landed. But their voices shattered the windows resulting in multiple injuries among the audience.

Denis Potvin said...

Regarding the hatelist. Who cares about Senators-Sabres? Did they start up hockey again?

Anonymous said...

hand a game ball to glavine!

Larry Vanover squeezed teh shit out of glavine and at the end of teh 2nd inning, glavine's pitch count was 51.

he ended his day wit 6+IP and a final tally of 101 pitches. talk about efficiency.

Schoenweis should not, under any circumstances, face right handed hitters. not even in a mop up role reserved for "alphabet soup" burgos.

that 3 year deal aint lookin so swell right now.

beezermess said...

Random thoughts:
Why the hell would you care about NBC's coverage of the Senators & Sabres? Hockey season ended when the buzzer sounded at the Garden.

Why did the suits at Fox put highlights of the Billy Wagner's meltdown last year? Did I really need to live that nightmare again?

After one day of Marriage, I realize that though my life is different, things remain the same...I am off to Cancun...

Mike said...

David Wright's first homer was a friggin' BOMB! That was Piazza-esque.

And I'll admit I had flashbacks to last May's Wagner meltdown before Buck mentioned it. Then when he threw home on the comeback . . . I was terrified.

Luckily, the Yankees really do suck this year. What an awful fundamentals team.

Unser said...

I've said it before - I cannot WAIT until MLB's contract with FOX expires. I hear FOX wants to get rid of baseball too. Good riddance. They take this majestic game, and cheap it up with stupidity from the broadcasters (Jeannie Zelasko? Steve Lyons? please . . .), to the graphics to that awful music.

And Schoenweis? Buddy, throw strikes. And how about we stop giving up that gopher ball? I must admit, when Jeter was up in the 8th, I expected a tie game. If I'm Willie, I put Scohenweis on mop-up duty until he gets it right. He's stinking up the joint right now.

How good is Endy Chavez?

And what happened between Waldman and Russo? There was some sort of argument? Anyone have details?

marlon munoz said...

It comforting to see that Chuck Knoblauch is back with the evil empire.

hehehehe

JAMMQ said...

Prepare for the inevitable fawn-fest that you will hear tonight on ESPN if the Yankees, dare I say, take a lead.

Over/Under on how many times you will here the following exchange:

Joe Morgan: "The Yankees are simply too good to play like this the whole year. You know they're eventually going to find a way to turn it around."

Jon Miller: "I think you're right, Joe."

+12.

By the way, WTF is up with Scott Schoenweis? He's got Burgos-itis.

jp said...

Unser,
You're gonna have to wait a while for that contract to be up. FOX just signed up for a bunch more years last year. They didn't want to get rid of baseball at all, it was just negotiation bullshit to get a better deal for them(more commercials, better start time, more games, etc).

Metstradamus said...

I agree...Vanover was all over the place. Vanover was guessing on every pitch that was near the outside corner by Glavine. Balls were strikes, strikes were balls...it was nonsense.

Ed in Westchester said...

Metstra:

I shall be going to the Mausoleum in the Bronx tomorrow night, thanks to a nice Yankee fan (no, that is not an oxymoron, he is actually a nice guy). I am wondering if it may be the first game with a new manager for the Yankees. Your thoughts on this possibility?

Unlike Yankee fans who attend Mets games at Shea, I shall not make an ass out of myself. I shall internalize my joy over seeing the Red Sox put a few more nails in the coffin that is housing the 2007 Yankees.

Anonymous said...

BTW, wright kicked ass on the line up introduction when compared to damon..

joe morgan sux but ben franklin is allright. a lot of times he appears irritated with joe morgan.
you guys will probably notice it tonite..

ben franklin does local giants tv/radio here in teh bay area and truth be told, he is pretty good at what he does.

he is probably the only guy i can stand out of all the baseball broadcasters for both bay area teams.

ted robinson does a pretty good job for stanford football too.

Anonymous said...

i was there yesterday, and despite the win i wish i weren't.
shea is not a military-recruiting ground for a failed president who gained power via a legal coup d'etat.
it's sucking up to fox, which supports faux news revenues, and the rightist rubes who want to ball-cuddle brent hume, propagandist. the mets played the crowd like the yankees do. soldiers. military jets. 'gawd bless america.'
bring on the braves for meaningful national league baseball.

Anonymous said...

Metstra.... why? You claim to be a soothsayer, but why, oh why do you ever EVER think that a rookie pitcher will get shelled? Honestly, we will make anyone look like Roger Clemens if they're a rookie. Heck, even SCHOWENWEISS wanted to welcome the kid into the league, by giving him a double into the gap.

It's not that the mets can't hit rookies.... the Mets are just too damn nice!