For Once, Kenny Doesn't Die

I know you were grappling with it tonight. Sure, it would be great if the Yankees lost...but Kenny Rogers is going against them.

Yeah, that Kenny Rogers.

What do you do?

Kenny Rogers, after all, is on the hate list. You voted him in.

But aren't like, 25 Yankees on the list too?

Boy...the city of Detroit really was a black hole of hate Friday night.

On Thursday, one of the Survivor contestants during tribal council mentioned that his general rule is to go with his gut. My gut (along with being a receptacle for Cheez Doodles and salt water taffy tonight) was pumping my fist with every Kenny Rogers strikeout.

Don't get me wrong...I felt dirty after I did it. I was sitting in a hallway afterwards with my head in my hands muttering "what have I done" over and over and over again.

However, dirt can be washed away. Images of Derek Jeter snugly behind Jeanne Zelasko are burned in your retina forever. Constant stories about Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi rattle around in your head long-term.

I myself will take dirt every time.

I don't know what was more amazing during these playoffs: the Paul Lo Duca double play, or Kenny Rogers of all people shutting out the Yankees for 23 outs. Practically the whole freakin' lineup had career batting averages of .400 and up. Rodriguez was a lifetime .526 hitter off of Rogers. Tonight? Oh for three.

I would say that Jim Leyland deserves manager of the year for not starting Kenny Rogers at Yankee Stadium, except that I probably could have figured that one out for myself (and of course for the fact that the voting already took place).

Unfortunately, the Yankees are still the Yankees...and winning two in a row is far from impossible for them. I will ask this: Would you trust Jaret Wright to save your season?

(P.S. There are only three members of my Hall of Hate that were inducted as Yankees: Jeter, Roger Clemens, and Jose Vizcaino)

By the way, what happened to all of these supposed great American League lineups that are supposed to strike fear into the hearts of all Met fans and make them shudder in fear? Well, most of them never even made October. Instead, the playoffs were littered with teams like the Twins, who entered today's game with...are you ready...Designated Hitter Jason Tyner.

Zero career home runs in 1,052 at bats. And yet he's designated to hit.

What happened to the good ol' days (this past June) where all of these American League lineups were supposed to be full of Paul Bunyan mountain men who eat lightning and crap thunder?

Jason Tyner???

I don't mean to kick the Twins while they're down, and I only mention Tyner because he was a Met for 41 glorious at bats (and eight hits in those forty-one chances, none of which likely made it past the pitchers mound). It's just amazing that when the Yankees were in their down period, all we heard from their camp was "Well, look at these relentless lineups that we have to deal with. We obviously play in a much superior league!" Then the Yankees got well (thanks to Pat Gillick's fire sale) and that company line stopped immediately. Instead, all these supposed great lineups fall by the wayside one by one and a team with Jason Tyner as their designated hitter makes the playoffs...and they go and score seven runs in three games.

And the greatest lineup in the history of lineups gets shut down by Kenny Rogers.

Man, I feel like everything I was told was a lie. I feel so used.