Saturday, October 07, 2006

For Once, Kenny Doesn't Die

I know you were grappling with it tonight. Sure, it would be great if the Yankees lost...but Kenny Rogers is going against them.

Yeah, that Kenny Rogers.

What do you do?

Kenny Rogers, after all, is on the hate list. You voted him in.

But aren't like, 25 Yankees on the list too?

Boy...the city of Detroit really was a black hole of hate Friday night.

On Thursday, one of the Survivor contestants during tribal council mentioned that his general rule is to go with his gut. My gut (along with being a receptacle for Cheez Doodles and salt water taffy tonight) was pumping my fist with every Kenny Rogers strikeout.

Don't get me wrong...I felt dirty after I did it. I was sitting in a hallway afterwards with my head in my hands muttering "what have I done" over and over and over again.

However, dirt can be washed away. Images of Derek Jeter snugly behind Jeanne Zelasko are burned in your retina forever. Constant stories about Alex Rodriguez and Jason Giambi rattle around in your head long-term.

I myself will take dirt every time.

I don't know what was more amazing during these playoffs: the Paul Lo Duca double play, or Kenny Rogers of all people shutting out the Yankees for 23 outs. Practically the whole freakin' lineup had career batting averages of .400 and up. Rodriguez was a lifetime .526 hitter off of Rogers. Tonight? Oh for three.

I would say that Jim Leyland deserves manager of the year for not starting Kenny Rogers at Yankee Stadium, except that I probably could have figured that one out for myself (and of course for the fact that the voting already took place).

Unfortunately, the Yankees are still the Yankees...and winning two in a row is far from impossible for them. I will ask this: Would you trust Jaret Wright to save your season?

(P.S. There are only three members of my Hall of Hate that were inducted as Yankees: Jeter, Roger Clemens, and Jose Vizcaino)

By the way, what happened to all of these supposed great American League lineups that are supposed to strike fear into the hearts of all Met fans and make them shudder in fear? Well, most of them never even made October. Instead, the playoffs were littered with teams like the Twins, who entered today's game with...are you ready...Designated Hitter Jason Tyner.

Zero career home runs in 1,052 at bats. And yet he's designated to hit.

What happened to the good ol' days (this past June) where all of these American League lineups were supposed to be full of Paul Bunyan mountain men who eat lightning and crap thunder?

Jason Tyner???

I don't mean to kick the Twins while they're down, and I only mention Tyner because he was a Met for 41 glorious at bats (and eight hits in those forty-one chances, none of which likely made it past the pitchers mound). It's just amazing that when the Yankees were in their down period, all we heard from their camp was "Well, look at these relentless lineups that we have to deal with. We obviously play in a much superior league!" Then the Yankees got well (thanks to Pat Gillick's fire sale) and that company line stopped immediately. Instead, all these supposed great lineups fall by the wayside one by one and a team with Jason Tyner as their designated hitter makes the playoffs...and they go and score seven runs in three games.

And the greatest lineup in the history of lineups gets shut down by Kenny Rogers.

Man, I feel like everything I was told was a lie. I feel so used.


G-Fafif said...

Kenny Rogers, almost all is forgiven.

The highlight of nights like these is tuning into YES! to luxuriate in a shower of alibi. Thursday, for example, the Tigers won because it was a day game and they could get comfortable away from that nighttime spotlight that would so psych them silly. Friday night, Michael Kay's first words were "Taking nothing away from Kenny Rogers..."

Then, of course, he proceeded to take everything away from Michael Kay. Because it's never the other team that wins. It's something the Yankees did wrong (like not calling Michael Kay for strategy). How could it not be? The world revolves around those fuckers.

Metstradamus, it would be so nice, so so VERY nice if the Tigers can continue to be the heroes they are showing themselves to be.

Oh yeah...go Mets and stuff.

Metstradamus said...

Wow. Just wow. Kay actually said that the Tigers won because night time freaks them out? an October full of dumbness, I think that tops it all. Does he listen to himself as the words are coming out of his mouth?

Then again, this is the guy who equated talking about a no-hitter in progress to slavery, so nothing should surprise me.

I'm not going to even mention the kind of night tomorrow will be if ALL goes correctly. I'm just hoping that the WE in this equation goes correctly.

G-Fafif said...

Kay wouldn't give Rogers credit. It was Paul O'Neill who sold the daytime snake oil according to Bob Raissman.

Today? Saturday? Just another day.


vinnie said...

I watched the whole game with a bunch of yankee fans... Let me tell you, I felt like I was watching Luis Gonzonlez get the game winning hit off Mariano for 9 innings...

Ed in Westchester said...

TO me, there is no issue, you go with the lesser of two evils, in this case, support Rogers. I did. I had many the checkle as I checked the score a few times last night. I did not watch the game, as I was watching Lost on DVR, which I taped so I could watch the DVR of the Mets game 1 because ESPN and FOX suck.
Anyhow, Kenny, I still hate you, but my hate for you is nowhere near the hate I have for the Yankees. Or several other former Mets.
Oh, and George, based on the way the Yanks have looked, I would love to see a Subway Series right now.
Metstra - do we need to check on the Dark Lord?

Gob Iron said...

As much as ball four in '99 sticks with me (and he threw ball 4 twice - the ump gave him a mulligan on the first ball 4 he threw way back when) I was definitely with Kenny all the way last night. Kenny doing that to his Yankees has just got to kill Steinbrenner, especially if the Tigers finish the job tonight. I've got to hand it to Rogers though - somehow he has 207 wins in his career. Pretty impressive for a guy I remember as having no guts. I actually felt happy for the guy not just because he was beating the Yankees but because it was cool seeing a guy excorcise his demons. (exorcise? something like that.)

Plus, if the Tigers get to the series, we get to take Kenny out. As good as he looked last night, he's a lefty the Mets will definitely knock around.

jabair said...

"eat lightning and crap thunder"

LOL.. HOF line there...

Anonymous said...

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

help-a-rascal said...

wow, it's as if the world has turned upside down. black is white, cold is hot, yankee fans aren't assholes. i just don't know what to do with myself. i mean, if you had told me before the playoffs began that such baseball oracles as john "padres in the series" kruk, tino "what do you mean, yankee bias?" martinez, and buster "the mets are great, NO, WAIT, THEY SUCK!" olney could possibly be wrong in their analyses, i would have had a strong word or two with you, sir. but now, i just......i can't believe my tax dollars are paying for this wanton incompetence. i am chastened. i have lost my innocence. are you happy, espn?

Ed in Westchester said...



Anonymous said...

Metstradamus, in all fairness to FOX (Lord, never thought I'd utter those words), it seems their obsession has shifted from Jeter to our own Wright.

I mean we're seeing his little league and elementary school pics! Oh, and did ya know, his dad's a police chief in VA? I'm letting you know in case you missed it when FOX mentioned that...for the 433rd time!