Saturday, February 18, 2006

Perhaps Bill Buckner Can Leave His House Now...

It's sad to attach a scathing commentary to a young, fresh faced, 20 year old woman...a baby, if you will.

But for Lindsey Jacobellis, I quote Robert DeNiro in "Cop Land":

For those not watching the 2006 Winter Olympiad from Turin, Italy (and judging by the ratings, you're all watching American Idol anyway), Lindsey Jacobellis, competing in "Snowboard Cross", which has been called NASCAR on Snowboards, was leading the final race by about a mile, when she decided on the last jump to perform a little twisty move and grab her board...a move equivalent to the Leon Lett showboat in Super Bowl XXVII which cost him a touchdown...except that Jacobellis fell before the finish line, and was passed by a Swiss racer and Jacobellis had to settle for a silver medal.

Lindsey may very well turn out to be the sympathetic figure of Turin, but she'll get no sympathy from me. Lindsey, you're a dope!

You blew it!

Jacobellis will be compared to Lett, Buckner, Fred Merkle, and the like. But this is much, much worse.

She's the Rickey Henderson of snowboarding.

Now Rickey never lost anything more than a base with his hot dogging after an apparent home run, or my favorite: the "snatch catch" in left field. But take Rickey Henderson...put him in the World Series, load the bases with two outs in the bottom of the ninth inning, add a routine fly ball to Henderson, with a dash of snatch catch. Now imagine, as I frequently have, the ball squirting out of Rickey's glove at that very moment.

You have Lindsey Jacobellis.

And I don't want to hear this garbage about "oh, but it's the snowboarding culture to be a showman and to put a little flair in your routine."

Stop it!

The sad part is that people like Jacobellis and this Bode Miller character, will probably have fame beyond their wildest dreams because they have rocks in their heads...while the home folks that do win medals will be forgotten about three seconds after you hear their names during SportsCenter or read about them in the paper.

The sadder part is that Rickey Henderson is a Mets coach in 2006...and he's probably waiting to teach Jose Reyes that "snatch catch" so he can be poisoned into being the next Jacobellis during the 2006 World Series. Maybe then, Lindsey can leave her house again.

For now though, we'll have to settle for the emergence of Buckner from his front door...for the sports world has a new champion of chump.


Jaap said...

I understand that Lindsey Jacobellis was paid off by Bode Miller to take some of the pressure off the Skiing Jackass of the Year race.

Tommy_Calzone said...

I give Buckner a pass. At least the guy wasn't showboating.

Besides hasn't he been through enough?

I am votin for lett....hey I'm a 9ers fan ;)

Darth Marc said...

Very funny blog....but who cares about snowboarding???

Fredstradamus said...

Somewhere Dan and Dave are laughing.

Metstradamus said...


More people care about snowboarding than care about seven movies you've loved...or what song reminds you of 2005!!!!!

Jay said...

Hopefully not because, that 2006 World Series will be very real for us.

Anonymous said...

ummmm. Snowboard Cross and NASCAR? Did you even watch the event? IT'S NOTHING LIKE NASCAR!!!. With NASCAR, they go around in a circle. Snowbaord cross has jumps, bumps, curves, hills. It's more like MotorCROSS, thus the use of CROSS in the event title. Please doa little research before posting about a sport.

Anonymous said...

ummmm. Snowboard Cross and NASCAR? Did you even watch the event? IT'S NOTHING LIKE NASCAR!!!. With NASCAR, they go around in a circle. Snowbaord cross has jumps, bumps, curves, hills. It's more like MotorCROSS, thus the use of CROSS in the event title. Please doa little research before posting about a sport.

Metstradamus said...

Anonymous snowboarding fan,

Calm down Sparky, yes I did watch the event. All I wrote was that Snowboardcross has been called "NASCAR on Snowboards"...which it has been called that by media outlets such as ESPN. Never did I say that those media outlets were right, but media outlets have called it "NASCAR on Snowboards", which makes them wrong, and ME RIGHT!

So ummmmmmm... please learn to read more carefully before you post an anonymous snotty nitpicky misdirected complaint at me, and instead direct your complaint to the good folks at ESPN and outlets like them. And also, please learn to hit the "send" button ONCE!!! I heard you the first time.

And if by chance you are Mrs. Jacobellis' mother, please tell your daughter that she is a moron, with love from me.



Metstradamus said...

And one more thing, the point of the blog entry (which you also completely missed in your rush to call me out in regards to a sport which, in the grand scheme of things, is about thirty seconds old), is that be it Motorcross on snowboards, NASCAR on snowboards, NBA on snowboards, underwater dart throwing on snowboards, or full contact fornication on snowboards, your girl Lindsey is a MORON!

Say it with me: M-O-R-O-N!

So can I get on with my life or do you want to catch me on a spelling errer?

Anonymous said...

are you serious? Rickey a COACH??!!!!

we're all doomed.

you're sure you're not joking?

Metstradamus said...


Key stat on Rickey Henderson which blew me away as I learned it today:

Rickey of the fastest man to ever walk on a baseball field, in 10,961 at bats...had 66 triples.

Let that wash over you for a second: Sixty six triples.

Jose Reyes is already a third of the way there, while well short of the million games that Rickey has played.

Sure, he can teach Reyes and the like how to steal a base...but do we really want our youth to learn how to slow up on a sure triple and end up at second for the pure sake of padding their stolen base stats by stealing third?

iamSINATRA said...


Please do a little research before posting about a sport.

NASCAR is for mullet wearing, toothless, white trash morons from the south.

Snowboard Cross is for mullet wearing, toothless, white trash morons from the north.

Anyone who finds it necessary to defend either sport is in obvious need of Cooter's services to tune up his broken down trailer....without the interference of that know-it-all Uncle Jesse or that idiot savant Enos.

Should I double post as well? I can't figure out if that was to prove his point or because of his keen computer savvy intellect.


PS: Please feel free to make a CURLING post. I'd love to see what comes seeping out of the woodwork for that attention gripping subject.

Metstradamus said...

Hey I LOVE shuffleboard on ice (or is that chess on ice? I need to do more research). And we might actually MEDAL in it!!!

Bill O'Reilly said...

Mets fans are liberals who hate god and freedom and that is why they are losers because they are moneychangers who try to sell good americans 5 different types of uniforms.

that is why the YANKEES are the team of freedom and democracy!!

mr. met said...

A few things going on here.

1) Lindsey fucked up. She went for a fancy method air when she should have just done a plain 'ole front side grab. She did a flashy move, but for her, it's not a hard move. She still fucked up.

2) To even put her the same breath as Bode Miller is wrong. Miller is a class A idiot. All talk, no action. Just an indiot in interviews, she's not like him. Does not come across that way and let's not forget, she actually won silver. She lost gold, and a big gold, but got something which is more than Dan and Dave or Bode can claim.

3) Bob Costas is a asshole. He should be ashamed for his interview of her. He was grilling her like she was a criminal. Again, she still won silver.

4) RE: Rickey on triples. Triples are a result of ridiculous speed. Ricky was a great basestealer and speedster, but not as fast as Reyes, Crawford, or Furcal. I'm not up to date on every stadium he played in, but maybe that factored into that too. I didn't watch him enough to know if he was sandbagging for stolen bases, but it does not strike me as super strange.

Besides, I think Reyes cares more about triples than steals and is not going for some greater stolen base number.

Rickey said...

Rickey says the only reason Rickey didn't hit more triples is that Rickey can score just as easily from second base. And if you're looking at Rickey's stats, don't forget to mention Rickey's OB% (.401) and runs scored (2,295). Lou Brock was a great base stealer, but today, I am the greatest!

jdon said...

snow boarding "culture"--you are hilarious, Metsra.

A few things about Ricky:

What did Reyes steal last year--- 60 bases? Do we really want more?

Rickey will only succeed in teaching Jose how to hustle less and cruise more.

Isn't an important qualification for a coach the ability to remember players' names?

Metstradamus said...

Mr. Met, I agree re: Lindsey and Bode. Bode, to me, is one of these guys who cares more about getting his mug on "The Best Damn Sports Show Period" type shows, and showing how edgy he is and the whole "image" thing. He wants to be skiing's David Wells in that regard.

Lindsey just plain blew it. Hopefully the 4 year wait to Vancouver will teach her a valuable lesson.

jdon, a Rickey "story" that has been making the internet rounds lately is that a teammate of Henderson's was having a seperate conversation with another 'mate about why Rickey gets to sit at the front of the bus...he told the teammate that Rickey gets the front of the bus because he has tenure. Rickey overheard this and said something like "Tenure? I have at least fourteen years."

That cannot be confirmed. Neither can the story about when Rickey joined the Mariners in 2000 (after playing with the Mets in 1999), saw John Olerud and said "Hey, I played with a guy last year that wore his batting helmet in the field."

Anonymous said...

Hey all, do me a favor and sign my petition. It will help many fans in CT be able watch the mets this season. Im hoping to get my local cable provider to consider reaching an agreement with SNY. Even if you don't subscribe to Charter Digital Cable, do me a favor and sign it, because you will ultimately be helping support your team because you know a lot more people will be watching them on tv this season... only takes a second. Thanks everybody!

mr. met said...

You better believe she learned her lesson. I'll bet she wins the entire thing next time around, granted it is far, far away.

Bode, learned nothing. He will continue to jaw and jaw with no medal.

At least she has humility.

Joe said...

I'm starting to stir from hibernation . . . I'm starting to feel the Mets love again . . . quickly followed by self-loathing.

iamSINATRA said...

Anonymous in CT:

Charter is (I think) New Milford, Southbury region.

Tell them that Comcast is offering the Met channel in Danbury, Ridgefield and surround areas as part of the basic cable (not the bare bones, but basic) I would assume that you can't be too far away from that area.

Threaten to go to DirectTV. I will be sigining your petition in the meantime.

Clueless Art said...

Anyone remember when CLUELESS ART called for a hit and run like 5 times in a row with Floyd at first base. The batter fouled it off like 5 times then on the 6th time CLUELESS ART called the same play, the ball was way out of the strike zone and an exhausted Floyd was thrown out at second by a mile.

How in the world did this fool CLUELESS ART cash his Met paychecks in good conscience. He was payed millions to be a CLUELESS MORON!!!!!!

And how about his 'interviews' on WFAN where he repeated a few of his famous CLUELESS ART phrases such as:

1) We've got to take it one day at a time
2) We're all working hard to get this thing turned around
3) He's a real gamer [referring to lousy player)
4) Baseball can be a funny game at times.