A Bowl By Any Other Name Still Holds Dip

I remember when the Super Bowl was about the Super Bowl. No need to attach sidebars or kickers or all of the other goofiness that comes along with it. You had Joe Montana. You had Emmitt Smith. You had Joe Greene. You had the Bills losing. What more could you want?

Now though, the single most watched sporting event in the world is more about the commercials (which have gotten lamer every year), the parties (which I can't get in), and the storylines than about the actual game. People seem to think that we as a society need Joey Porter vs. Jerramy Stevens to be able to enjoy the biggest game of the year. Heck even the oddsmakers, who are incredible for the most part when it comes to setting the betting line, have been seduced by the whole "Jerome Bettis winning his final game in his hometown" romance novel, and have made the Steelers a 4 point favorite. You can't help but think that if the number one seeded team that had the league MVP wore Steelers uniforms, they would be a gazillion point favorite.

Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the Super Bowl. I just wish it wasn't so antiseptic. I remember last year's game down the stretch, and there was no buzz in the crowd. None. And that's due in no small part to the fact that ticket prices (which are wither $600 or $700 face value this year) price out the real fan, and the stadium is filled with corporate sponsors with no dog in the fight. And for a championship game, that shouldn't be.

I've been to a World Series game. I've been to Stanley Cup finals games. There was buzz and electricity at both events. But it seems to me that the only buzz and electricity around the Super Bowl these days are for everything except the game. And people think I'm nuts when I say this, but I have no desire to ever go to a Super Bowl game unless my team was playing in it. I would attend a World Series or Stanley Cup if there were two teams that I don't have a stake in. But a Super Bowl? I can safely say that I will never attend a Super Bowl in my life unless the Jets are actively participating in it.

That means I will probably never be in attendance for a Super Bowl.

Maybe Jason is right. Maybe the Super Bowl is nothing more than a benchmark to let baseball fans know that there's only a couple more weeks until spring training. One of the best contests I ever saw was on Major League Baseball's website a couple of years ago, where if you were spotted at the Super Bowl wearing a baseball cap, you won a prize like free tickets to opening day or something like that. It was brilliant.

So with nothing better to do, and no further motivation out of me. Here's a look at who some more prominent Mets would be compared to if they were Super Bowl legends:

David Wright=Tom Brady: David Wright is the Mets' golden boy. Perfect teeth, perfect hair, the right attitude...if the Mets to go on to win multiple championships, David Wright will be the man that fans of other teams will absolutely loathe, because he too will have it all.

Jose Offerman=Garo Yepremian: Yepremian almost blew the Super Bowl for the '72 Dolphins with his ill fated attempt at a pass which was returned for a Redskin touchdown. Offerman's retreat to first base on a single to center field this past season puts him in Garo's league.

Pedro Martinez=Joe Namath: How could you not compare a man who guaranteed a Super Bowl victory over the heavily favored Baltimore Colts to a man who once mused that if Babe Ruth were alive he would drill him in his ass?

Tug McGraw=Jim McMahon: If Tugger was a football player, he would be McMahon. Really, couldn't you see McGraw moon a helicopter as McMahon did during Super Bowl week 20 years ago? Couldn't you see McMahon attempt to smoke astroturf?

Gil Hodges=Tom Landry: Like Hodges, Landry was the picture of calmness, giving off the perception that he really wasn't doing much...but you knew he had every facet of the game he was coaching under control.

Bobby Bonilla=Leon Lett: Bonilla never blew a big moment in a championship game, and he was never arrested on drug charges. Lett never threatened to show a reporter the Bronx, and he never wore cotton in his ears to drown out boos. But you know what, they're both fat, and they're both equated with the word "embarrassment".

Cliff Floyd=Mean Joe Greene: Greene had that look in his eye...that look that said "you're not scoring on us today". Greene's look was matched by his intensity. Floyd's disregard for his body belies his intensity. Now if we can only get him to trade me his jersey for a Coke.

Julio Franco=George Blanda: This one isn't hard to figure out. Blanda played twenty-six seasons, and didn't retire until he was 49 years old. (Blanda is 79 years old today.) Franco...is also 79 years old today.

Mike Piazza=Dan Marino: If Piazza had stayed in Flushing, and the Mets carried him to the title this season, he would have been John Elway, who won two titles to end his career after endless questions about why he couldn't win the big one. But with Piazza in San Diego, I fear that Piazza's fate will match Marino's...monster statistics, no rings.

Bobby Valentine=Barry Switzer: I was reminded of Valentine's impersonation of a batter trying to hit a pitch while high on pot. Combine that with his other notable soundbites and his fake mustaches, and what other Super Bowl coach could you compare him with than Barry Switzer, who was once busted at an airport with a hand gun?

Kris Benson=Kurt Warner: Well actually, it's more like: Anna Benson=Brenda Warner.

Gary Carter=Michael Strahan: One of Carter's nicknames was "Camera", as he was accused of never meeting a camera he didn't like. Strahan, who played in Super Bowl 35, doesn't have to be accused of that. Because evidence of Strahan being a media whore is well documented.

Rickey Henderson=Terrell Owens: The way Rickey was banished from the Mets (not running hard on a single off the wall), is eerily similar to the way T.O. is going to be banished from the Eagles (suspended indefinitely after dogging Donovan McNabb). Both hall of fame calibre talents who let selfishness get in the way.

Armando Benitez=Scott Norwood: "Wide Right"..."Game One", same difference.

Keith Hernandez=Mike Singletary: Both defensive captains for teams that won a very memorable championship, and both should have won more championships with those franchises, but for some reason, didn't. Singletary's crazy eyes match Hernandez's instruction to Jesse Orosco before his duel with Kevin Bass during game 6 of the '86 NLCS: "If you throw one fastball I'll kill you".

Darryl Strawberry=Neil O'Donnell: Strawberry had a habit of missing the cutoff man by landslide like margins. But at least Strawberry's throws weren't picked off by Larry Brown.

Butch Benton=Vince Ferragamo: Nobody remembers Ferragamo either.