Desert Elixir Redux

So I'm thinking of a title for this entry ... and I thought of "Desert Elixir". Hey, that works. They're in Phoenix, they play well in Phoenix, and a win was just what they needed.

One problem: I already used it.

It's amazing how no matter what year it is, how good the Diamondbacks are (and they're good), how dysfunctional the Mets are (that's up for debate), or how the planets are aligned. The Mets just stroll into Arizona and go nuts. And they go nuts in much the same way they always do, which is to score runs in the first inning (here's how dysfunctional I am, I was hoping that Micah Owings would get knocked out in that three run first inning so that the Diamondback lineup would get weaker.)

So instead of just rehashing the old jokes about putting a swimming pool and a roof in the new Citi Field (I've given up that crusade), I'll just say the following: a base hit through Orlando Hudson's legs, and an error on David Wright on a bad hop? Who was the official scorer last night? Heath Bell's dog?

Did anyone notice on David Wright's home run that Eric Byrnes jumped for it about ten seconds after the ball was already in the stands?

Nice catch too by Wright in foul territory. Looked like he kept his feet in bounds too.

Moises Alou returned to action last night. Nothing was re-injured ... unless of course he went looking for food in a cab with Filthy Sanchez after the game. Here's a handy guide going forward:

Cyberchased

It really doesn't matter if the names are McLouth, Nady, and Doumit ... or if the names are Crosby, Malkin, and Hossa, the sad truth is this: the city of Pittsburgh kinda owns us right now.

Doesn't matter if it's Marc Andre Fleury holding off the kitchen sink, or if it's Tom Gorzellany blanking the Mets through his five innings of work. Because here's how you know it's not your day: When Gorzellany has some serious back spasms after 4 and 2/3's and he decides to gut it out and throw some cookies to David Wright to get that final out ... and Wright still can't buy a hit? The lords of baseball are against you. Go home and get some sleep.

The scary part was that Gorzellany, with back spasms, hit the plate today with better accuracy than Oliver Perez, who issued as many walks as he retired batters (that would be five) during the 13-1 drubbing. Perez got no help in that seven run second, as Luis Castillo's mitt doing an impression of a skillet on a double play ball made five of those runs unearned. But on the bright side, it was Cyberchase Day, so the stadium was full of kids who haven't been taught the concept of "boo" yet.

(Speaking of boo, whether you believe that booing is cathartic and necessary to get a message across, or whether you believe that only positive reinforcement will help a player get out of a slump, I don't think anyone will disagree that when nobody covers second base on a rundown ... as happened in that second inning, that's fair game. Boo!)

Having squandered a small chance to build on taking two out of three from Atlanta by splitting the rain-shortened series with Pittsburgh, the Mets now go to Arizona ... a place they've dominated in the past. Hey, they've even beaten Brandon Webb a couple of times. But mostly, they've beaten the likes of Russ Ortiz and Miguel Batista. This weekend, it's Micah Owings, Webb, and Dan Haren. Add those three to the memory of Eric Byrnes' mustache, and you've got trouble on so many levels.

Gross Instability

As someone who has turned his ankle a few times, let me be the first to say...

Ouch.

You can always tell when I'm coming by the clicking sound that my ankle makes when it's involved in the process of walking. You see, one too many turned left ankles on the basketball court ended that 0.00001% chance of me becoming the next Larry Bird (lousy bone chips). After Damion Easley's left ankle hit the ground on Saturday (with no Lawrence Taylor to expedite the process as he did with a certain former Redskins QB turned ESPN announcer in the exact same stadium), I wonder if he's going to hear that same clicking sound for a while after Easley was diagnosed with a Grade 3 sprain.

Grade three, if you're wondering, is really bad.

"Complete tear of the ligament. If the examiner pulls or pushes on the ankle joint in certain movements, gross instability occurs."

Of course, this would happen about an inning after Easley's immeasurable value was being discussed in the booth during tonight's game. What does this mean? It means Shawn Green at first base against lefties until Carlos Delgado gets back. Please get well soon, Carlos. And Damion...well, just get well. Soon may be too much to ask.

(You know, I hear Jose Offerman's available.)

And of course this would happen after the Mets lost another catcher to the DL today, as Fluff Castro still has an arthritic back.

(I know about bad backs. I also know of the rigors of catching, as I was pressed into duty as an emergency catcher for a company team in a tournament some years back...I wasn't even a part of that company but they begged me. That was their first mistake. Let's just say that it was so bad that I got special dispensation from the umpire to wear my shin guards while I was batting...because it wasn't like I was making contact with the ball anyway and if I did, It wasn't like I could get much slower. I just didn't want to break my toe fouling a ball off. So how bad was I? Let's just say that it's a good thing that this boxscore is never going to show up on Retrosheet or anything like that. And by the way, Alberto Castillo laughs at me.)

But otherwise, this was an extremely productive night in the standings for the Mets as they have gained a game on their competition with a 7-4 victory, coupled with Micah Owings having a little league game against the Braves, and the Pirates coming back from four down against the Phillies At least they've never done that against the Met...oh, wait.

I like the fact that Oliver Perez gutted through his six innings. But I'm still wondering if he's hit some sort of wall. He is lacking a little bit of velocity and an ever so slight bit of movement. It's a good sign when Perez can win with guile like Tom Glavine does, because maybe he can use these smarts when his stuff comes back.

I just hope he doesn't have to do it that often.

I wonder if John Lannan would have rather given up number 756 to Barry Bonds than give up Luis Castillo's first home run in one year, one month, and two days (or 674 at-bats if you choose to count that way). Between breaking Chase Utley's hand, pitching to Bonds, and now this, it's already been a lifetime of cool memories about John Lannan. (I can't wait until he mathematically eliminates the Mets from playoff contention in 2014 with a two-hitter. You know it's coming.)

(P.S. My crack staff has been following Guillermo Mota around after tonight's game. Apparently he was seen visiting every White Castle in the D.C. area...hoping that with all the sliders they have, maybe they're the ones that stole his by mistake. If he finds it, he can always reapply it in cream or clear form.)