Desert Elixir Redux

So I'm thinking of a title for this entry ... and I thought of "Desert Elixir". Hey, that works. They're in Phoenix, they play well in Phoenix, and a win was just what they needed.

One problem: I already used it.

It's amazing how no matter what year it is, how good the Diamondbacks are (and they're good), how dysfunctional the Mets are (that's up for debate), or how the planets are aligned. The Mets just stroll into Arizona and go nuts. And they go nuts in much the same way they always do, which is to score runs in the first inning (here's how dysfunctional I am, I was hoping that Micah Owings would get knocked out in that three run first inning so that the Diamondback lineup would get weaker.)

So instead of just rehashing the old jokes about putting a swimming pool and a roof in the new Citi Field (I've given up that crusade), I'll just say the following: a base hit through Orlando Hudson's legs, and an error on David Wright on a bad hop? Who was the official scorer last night? Heath Bell's dog?

Did anyone notice on David Wright's home run that Eric Byrnes jumped for it about ten seconds after the ball was already in the stands?

Nice catch too by Wright in foul territory. Looked like he kept his feet in bounds too.

Moises Alou returned to action last night. Nothing was re-injured ... unless of course he went looking for food in a cab with Filthy Sanchez after the game. Here's a handy guide going forward:

Cyberchased

It really doesn't matter if the names are McLouth, Nady, and Doumit ... or if the names are Crosby, Malkin, and Hossa, the sad truth is this: the city of Pittsburgh kinda owns us right now.

Doesn't matter if it's Marc Andre Fleury holding off the kitchen sink, or if it's Tom Gorzellany blanking the Mets through his five innings of work. Because here's how you know it's not your day: When Gorzellany has some serious back spasms after 4 and 2/3's and he decides to gut it out and throw some cookies to David Wright to get that final out ... and Wright still can't buy a hit? The lords of baseball are against you. Go home and get some sleep.

The scary part was that Gorzellany, with back spasms, hit the plate today with better accuracy than Oliver Perez, who issued as many walks as he retired batters (that would be five) during the 13-1 drubbing. Perez got no help in that seven run second, as Luis Castillo's mitt doing an impression of a skillet on a double play ball made five of those runs unearned. But on the bright side, it was Cyberchase Day, so the stadium was full of kids who haven't been taught the concept of "boo" yet.

(Speaking of boo, whether you believe that booing is cathartic and necessary to get a message across, or whether you believe that only positive reinforcement will help a player get out of a slump, I don't think anyone will disagree that when nobody covers second base on a rundown ... as happened in that second inning, that's fair game. Boo!)

Having squandered a small chance to build on taking two out of three from Atlanta by splitting the rain-shortened series with Pittsburgh, the Mets now go to Arizona ... a place they've dominated in the past. Hey, they've even beaten Brandon Webb a couple of times. But mostly, they've beaten the likes of Russ Ortiz and Miguel Batista. This weekend, it's Micah Owings, Webb, and Dan Haren. Add those three to the memory of Eric Byrnes' mustache, and you've got trouble on so many levels.