Frankie Rodriguez: Lost in Translation

After days of seemingly inactive goings on in Met-land, we'll latch on to anything we can get. So when Metsblog brought us the news that Frankie Rodriguez was in New York taking a physical, I jumped ... even though the original source was a newspaper from Venezuela, and that I was warned beforehand to take this with a grain of salt.

It was then that I made the worst mistake of my life. I attempted to translate the original article. No, I didn't try this myself ... four years of Spanish in high school and all I absorbed is "Mi perro esta en fuego en la cocina." (Don't judge, that can come in handy in an emergency.) No, I used a free translator on the net, and quickly learned that you get what you pay for. Anyway, here's what the article says about Frankie going to New York:

Francisco Rodriguez is a sigh of stamp his signature on the contract he wanted so much. And when doing so will become the closing of the New York Mets. Santana, is looming as the leading candidate to become the services of Rodriguez.

Frankie's going to sign with the Mets to be their closer. All right, I waded through the translation and I get that. Continue:

"Yes, it's true. Francisco traveled to New York to get a medical checkup. That's all I needed to give effect to its contract with the Mets," confessed a source linked to stellar closing Venezuelan, who comes to impose a record for Major League, with 62 rescues that conquered during the regular harvest.

Because if you don't have enough rescues during the harvest, it's a cold, cold winter for the kids.

Although the K-Rod agent, Paul Kinzer, confessed yesterday to the official website of Major League Baseball who are still waiting to realize a multi-year contract that guarantees their represented at least 15 million dollars per season, the cast also where the military serpentinero Creole, Johan Santana, is looming as the leading candidate to become the services of Rodríguez.

Wait, Johan Santana is a Military Serpentinero Creole? Does he have a compound in Louisiana filled with enough guns and ammunition to take down a small country? And should we be worried about this?

"The Mets are the ones who have made the best offer so far, although I know that Francis wanted more money than what you have offered," said the source.

Lighten up, Francis.

The troops led by Jerry Manuel is the urgent need to strengthen a bullpen that lost a collective 29 wins in the previous harvest, including seven laurels that he had secured Santana to his third Cy Young Award.

Laurels? Is that like win shares?

With a cast of California out of the race in pursuit of a pact for the Kid, the Mets do not look to another club of great economic power that aims at closing the Venezuelan.

Doesn't that last sentence sound like something that the late Don LaFontaine should be reading?