Tagged (Yet Somehow Safe)

I have to admit, I generally hate these things.

I mean, they were cool the first 10,000 times. But I went through a span of six weeks where ... hand to God ... I got one of these per day. I have a hard time believing that people care that much about my life to know what flavor potato chips I like to eat on Wednesdays.

(Kettle Brand Honey Dijon, if you must know.)

Those that have been with me since the beginning may remember that I was tagged with one of these before ... and all I did was whine and moan my way through it.

But a blogger I not only respect and admire, but whom I've had a strange mind meld thing going with on more than one occasion, Toasty Joe, has tagged me to reveal things that you may not know about me. But first, I'm going to refresh your memory on the ten things I know about Toasty, and reply with facts about me that relate to Toasty's fine facts:

• (1) Toasty hates mustard and rye bread and will never consume either one of them under any circumstances. Conversely, Toasty loves eggnog. See if you can guess Toasty's religion. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Um, Santeria? (Google it.)

• (2) Toasty tends to choke up during the end of "Apollo 13."

But Toasty doesn't completely understand why he does this ... until now. You see, Metstradamus' first date with his future and current wife was spent in a movie theatre watching Apollo 13. So when he watches it, he feels my joy. See? It's that mind meld thing again.

• (3) Toasty is incredibly snobby about his ability to play the guitar. Thus, his aversion to "Guitar Hero." Learn to play a real guitar, for cryin' out loud.

I learned to play a real guitar ... took lessons in fourth and fifth grade. I can play basic chords with a guitar and wouldn't completely embarass myself. And I proudly say I own Guitar Heros two and three (and I have more fun playing "Carry On My Wayward Son" on the game than I do most things in life).

• (4) Toasty has a crush on Jodi Applegate.

Here's the thing about Jodi Applegate: If you watch enough local news shows, you'll notice that most of the female anchors have the same hairstyle. It's like there's a store off of Bleeker St. called "Anchor Hair" that sells them in bulk. I, for one, applaud Jodi for not falling prey, or for at least resisting the Anchor Hair Syndrome for so long. What's it going to take to stop the spread of AHS? A foundation, perhaps?

• (5) Toasty requires an aisle seat in both movie theaters and airplanes. (Bonus fact: Toasty is 6'4").

My first flight was to Toronto. Sat by the window. Landing back in NYC in a lightning storm on the back end of that trip swore me off window seats for a while. (I could swear I saw Anthony Young on the wing of the plane). It took a few flights but I'm back to being comfortable by the window.

(By the way ... the next time I'll be on an airplane? Spring Training, baby!)

• (6) Toasty has never seen a single episode of "Lost," "Heroes," or "24." Not a one.

Just when you thought he would be the only one on earth who could say that, now you have two. As Tony Kornheiser said: "Get these slob losers off the island already! How many seasons can they be stuck there without their hair growing? Put all the people on Lost in Canada."

• (7) When Toasty was in 6th grade, a classmate once tricked him into sitting down on the pointy end of a pencil, leaving him with a painful mark on his, er, "hip." That classmate is now married to Toasty's first cousin.

When Metstradamus was in 5th grade, his teacher brushed his hair in such a matter that made his head look like a mushroom. This happened, of course, on picture day. Thanks a lot. That teacher isn't married to anybody in Metstradamus' family (to the best of his knowledge).

All affected pictures have been burned, before you ask.

• (8) Toasty has been to Costa Rica and Colombia, but has never set foot in Mexico.

Metstradamus is Toasty's negative on this one ... been to Mexico, but never to Costa Rica and Colombia. Random Mexico fact: There's a Johnny Rockets in Cozumel.

• (9) Toasty is related (by marriage) to Barbra Streisand. Pretty closely, too.

Metstradamus has seen the South Park episode where Barbra Streisand turned into Mecha-Streisand ... and where Robert Smith (of The Cure, not of the Vikings) saved the day. Loved it.

• (10) Toasty thinks "Eyes Wide Shut" is an underappreciated-masterpiece and that "Titanic" sucked monkey balls.

Metstradamus thought that "Anchorman" was an underappreciated masterpiece, and couldn't get through thirty minutes of "The Silence of the Lambs".

No, really. Not 30 minutes. Anthony Hopkins is a great actor, but I wanted to put my head in an oven after listen to Hannibal Lechter mumble endlessly. You eat people. Why am I caring about anything you have to say? Freak. What this says about me? You can come to your own conclusions.

Now, the ten things you may not know about me, but were too apathetic to ask.

1. Metstradamus once sang lead for a rock band at a high school carnival.
   
2. Metstradamus, on the same night that he sang at this carnival, met Tommie Agee and got an autograph, which he still has to this day. Metstradamus also made a fool out of himself describing in great detail, and acting out Agee's two catches from Game 4 of the 1969 World Series when someone had the audacity to ask him "Who's Tommie Agee?"
   
3. Metstradamus once took steroids. (Prescribed, of course. And trust me, it did nothing to enhance my bloggging performance ... steroids don't make you smarter. Look through the January 2006 archives and you'll understand.)
   
4. Metstradamus once learned the hard way that if you're going to get two hamsters, make sure they're the same gender!!!
   
5. Metstradamus got married in Las Vegas (yes, I lived the dream).
   
6. Metstradamus was complimented verbally by Bobby Valentine for his entry on Banner Day, 1984 while most entries just got nods (hey, when looking for approval, you latch on to whatever you can).
   
7. Metstradamus was once chased by a policeman on Halloween, stupidly thinking he had escaped because the cop wouldn't drive his bike the wrong way on a one way street to catch him (uh ... stupid, he's a cop!)
   
8. While in college, Metstradamus went on two seperate double dates with the same guy. Both times, the date of Metstradamus' wound up making out with the other guy ... leaving Metstradamus, in both instances, with "the crazy one" (yes, he's still my friend).
   
9. Metstradamus once rode in a Lincoln Town Car with a prominent former New York athlete. Played for three N.Y. franchises, and was recently denied a credential by one of those franchises. I'll let you guys figure that one out. I can't do all the work here.
   
10. Maybe you know this one already, but it's worth repeating: Metstradamus once hitched a ride on the back of a pick-up truck across Foxboro to attend a Jets/Patriots game on a Monday night in 1998. This came on the heels of finding out the hotel we were staying at in Providence doubled as a strip joint. Apparently, not only did the strippers dance ($10 surcharge for each stripper you took back to your room ... and no, I'm not kidding on this one), but they washed towels during the daytime hours. And while there was no HBO in the room, the channel that featured the hardcore love-making was free (think Cinemax on Cialis). The lesson here is to always consult your AAA book before you make plans to see a sporting event.

So there you have it. Instead of getting eight facts, you got the bonus plan of 21. Good for blackjack, bad for Paul Gibson's ERA. So who am I tagging to do this?

• Bobby Valentine
• Anthony Hopkins
• Barbra Streisand
• Jodi Applegate
• Tony Kornheiser
• Paul Gibson
• Jennifer Love Hewitt
• Vinny Testaverde

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog.