Damn You Larry Jones!

You know when I got scared?

Not when Larry Jones crushed that two run HR in the first inning off of Mike Pelfrey to kick off the series and kick the Mets in the pants en route to a 7-3 Mets loss.

No, it was actually well before that.

I got scared when Larry's face adorned my television screen on the Boomer Esiason Show talking about the upcoming series, and he said something to the effect of "you know, if these fans at Shea would just leave me alone, I probably wouldn't hit so well in their park...I feed off their energy, and believe me it's a long walk back to that dugout." Typical Larry Jones...turn it around and blame it on us. Instead of just taking the blame for all of our problems in life like he should, he's basically telling us that he only hits us so well because we bring it on ourselves.

Damn you and your reverse psychology and your high batting average and your constant big hits and your naming your son Shea and damn your USA teammate Alex Rodriguez and his 7,000 home runs, and your blaming us for our problems when they're clearly your fault...and...and you smell bad too!

Damn you!

Larry also said on the Boomer show that he hopes his son gets to play in Queens one day. Good! I hope he plays in Queens for the Mets in the 2026 World Series and you have to wear a Met hat in the stands to support your son like Mookie wore that Cardinal hat for Preston and I hope I'm in the stands to see you because I'll still boo you! And then I'll laugh at you for wearing a Mets hat and a Mets sweatshirt to keep warm in that cold October weather (unless of course the earth warms like everyone says it does and it's 80 degrees in October...then I hope you wear a Shea Jones t-shirt that says Mets on it so I can laugh at you...you smelly bastard!)

Damn you!

And while I'm at it, damn you Tim Hudson. You single handedly killed my fantasy team last season until I dropped you. And now you want to be Cy Young...you and your 0.62 ERA. Where do you get off, anyway?

Damn you!

And you too Jeff Francoeur...Ron Darling compared you to Brad Komminsk tonight. Because of you, I had to hear the name Brad Komminsk tonight. You don't realize how happy I was when I thought that I would never hear that name again. Instead, Ron Darling mentioned Brad Komminsk and my brain hurt so much that I threw up. The worst part? I don't know why!

Stupid Jeff Francoeur and your alter ego Brad Komminsk from 20 years ago. You even look somewhat alike and wear the same number! That's obnoxious.

Damn you both.