Monday, July 04, 2005

Top 10 Ways To Help Knock The Nationals Out Of First Place

10. Teach the crowd to speak Spanish so they think they're back in Puerto Rico.
9. Teach the crowd to speak French and stay home so they think they're back in Montreal.
8. Teach everyone in the crowd to speak with a New York accent so Esteban Loiaza will think he's back on the Yankees.
7. Mike Scioscia Mask Night...that should be good enough for at least a 10 game suspension out of Guillen.
6. Infest RFK with a truckload of flying Youppis!
5. When the fans jump up and down in the bleachers, Have Carlos Baerga join them. That should make that stadium fall like a house of cards.
4. Check Chad Cordero's right arm for cork.
3. Hey, here's a novel idea...BEAT THEM!
2. Sell the franchise to Dan Snyder so he can sign Deion Sanders again.

And the number one way to help knock the Nats out of first place:

1. Trade them the final piece of the puzzle...Randy Johnson!

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