Saturday, July 23, 2005

Bruney For Breakfast

Let's get one thing straight, Metstradamus is not obsessed with scoreboard watching.

That's what I have the baseball television package for.

After tonight's Diamondback game, I'm sorry I wasted the $159.

They call guys like Brian Bruney "ham and eggers". That's an insult to ham and eggers. Heck, it's an insult to ham and eggs!

Why am I going to bother to watch the rest of the season, of every one of these ham and eggs closers is going to come in against the Richmond Braves and blow four run leads in a single bound? The Diamondbacks had it in the bag tonight...a 5-1 lead against Richmond, and this guy Brian "Breakfast Burrito" Bruney with the 6.31 ERA comes in, and can't get an out against a rookie, an 87 year old man, a shortstop, and another rookie. All of a sudden; POOF! The lead is gone. Let's just hand the Braves their 400th straight division title right now if this is going to be the case!

Now I know Mets closer Braden Looper may give us heart palpitations, but that can be corrected with medicine. This guy Bruney skips the palpitations and goes straight to stab wounds to the heart!

Maybe the Diamondbacks would want Looper!

Umpire Jim Wolf (who looks too much like Opie to be an umpire) was no help, calling two pitches against Kelly Johnson balls which could have been strikes (which set off probably my favorite umpire argument of the year in which Bob Melvin physically illustrated where the strike zone should be...classic!) But come on! Is there any good reason that Breakfast Burrito Bruney can't get three outs there, besides the fact that he's a breakfast burrito?

Diamondbacks TV analyst Mark Grace just said "As soon as you put on that Braves uniform, you're good." Of course! But if Brian Bruney was pitching to me, I could put on a uniform that says Chico's Bail Bonds and I'd knock it out of the park!

My second quote from Grace: "All's well that ends well." Thanks to Alex Cintron's game winner in the 10th inning, that is true. The 6-5 Arizona win means that the Mets bad loss doesn't cost them after all.

No thanks to second rate breakfast food.

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