Mainechez

Everyone 'round these parts are excited over a certain rookie quarterback. And why not? Mark Sanchez stared down Tom Brady, called his bluff, and came away with the pot (not the pot you're thinking of.) It was a day where 80,000 answered the call from their head coach (quite literally) and for their efforts, get to figure out how to split a game ball 80,000 ways (I call laces).

While Sanchez sent the Jets to the top of the AFC East on the wings of a Rex Ryan phone call, all John Maine did was help clinch fourth place with five shutout innings, without the help of a pre-recorded phone call from Snoop Manuel. (Well, that's if you don't count that drunk dial he made where he tried to convince me that Kate Gosselin was the victim in all this ... sorry, I've said too much.) But it was hard to tell the two apart as Mets announcers talked as much about football on Sunday as they did about baseball, with Gary Cohen giving constant Jets updates, as well as Carolina Panthers updates to keep Keith Hernandez in the loop as to whether he was going to win his pool whether they can beat the Falcons for some strange reason. While Sanchez was gunslinging a mere 20 miles away, Maine made throws that were, in the long run, every bit as important as Sanchez has in the short run.

If for nothing else, he stands a better chance of being gainfully employed next season. With reports ranging from "The Mets are standing pat" to "The Mets are going to consult Rachael Ray's Forty Dollar a Day show for help on payroll", Maine presents a viable, inexpensive option so long as he can prove to the team and to himself that he can still crank it up if need be.

Maine isn't the franchise, nor does he need to be. Only players that are traded for the 17th pick in the draft carry such lofty expectations. Maine was traded for Jorge Julio Kris Benson (how quickly I forget), which means that if his arm doesn't fall off it's a winnable end game, still. But these five shutout innings will give me at least 1/80,000th of the excitement as say, getting awarded a game ball does.

Nieve Colossus

I can't explain the latest Mets signing other than to say that this must be the new inscription outside the new park:

Not like the brazen Giants of Manhattan fame,
With conquering pitchers astride from land to land;
Here at our rusted, Citi Field gates shall stand
A mighty pitcher with a torch, whose flame
Was the imprisoned lightning, and his name:
Bill Pulsipher. From his beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; his mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that Big Bird frame.
"Keep ancient legends, your storied batters!" cries he
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your failed drafts.
Send these, the journeyman, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

Ladies and gentlemen I present to you your tired ... your poor: Fernando Nieve. When translated, "Fernando Nieve" in English means "Aaron Heilman". Don't believe me? He comes described as such:

"Nieve is considered an Aaron Heilman level disappointment, the once top Astros prospect was placed on irrevocable waivers."

So let me see if I got this right. The Mets rid themselves of Aaron Heilman, and get themselves a disappointment on the level of Aaron Heilman. Because really, what are the Mets without a reliever you can boo?

It's like Felix without Oscar.

It's like peanut butter without chocolate.

It's like Ellis Valentine without a helmet bar.

Bret Saberhagen without bleach.

Guillermo Mota without a 2-0 count.

You get the idea. But don't you find it funny that a team like the Marlins cut a guy after a game where he hits a home run, yet the Mets sign a guy who has produced ten years of evidence as to why he's not fit to pitch in the majors to replace a guy who gave up the home run to the guy that was cut?

But Nieve throws hard. Oooh, exciting. I recall Jorge Julio throwing a baseball at high speeds too. The dents in the back of the Shea Stadium bullpen were proof of that. But now we have a new stadium, with new hopes and dreams. And soon, new dents in the outfield wall, courtesy of Fernando Nieve.

I'll be the one lifting my lamp beside the golden door.

Mommy I Don't Want To Play With Omar Any More, Omar Cheats!

From the proprietor of the Ketchup On Your Ice Cream blog:

"Don't give up hope ... and if all else fails we could swing a deal to trade for an Orioles pitcher ... it'll probably be Victor Zambrano again though and not Bedard."

Thanks for the attempt to cheer me up. But you see, that's not an option. And you'll love the reason why:

"Baltimore owner Peter Angelos is believed to be averse to trading Bedard to the Mets (assuming the O's can't sign him to an extension) because of the fleecing of John Maine and Jorge Julio for Kris Benson in their previous dealings."

Oh, yeah right. We're the three card monty dealer on the corner who's just going around ripping everybody off. "Ooh, we can't deal with them, they're too smart for us...they're devious!"

Oh stop! This is why nobody goes to freakin' Orioles games any more. Peter Angelos is averse to trading Bedard to the Mets for the same reason he was averse to trading Miguel Tejada to the Orioles for the same reason that he's averse to building a halfway decent baseball franchise that has been run into the ground in the last ten years...because he doesn't have a clue!

Peter, once upon a time our devious underhanded organization was so devious and underhanded, that we traded Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano, and Lastings Milledge for a defensive catcher and a journeyman outfielder. But obviously those trades begin to reveal a grand master plan that will only be evident to everyone in about fifty years as we try to take over the world, right?

If we're this great savvy organization when it comes to trades, then you've got problems. Seems to me that you were the guys that misread John Maine's potential. Don't worry, it happens (again...Kazmir.) If we didn't get him, somebody else would have. You threw him in to the Julio deal because you didn't want to throw in Adam Loewen. Omar wanted Loewen, you threw in John Maine. Jim Duquette threw in John Maine...you know, the same guy that traded Kazmir. You hired him after that! And the guy you hired actually succeeded in somewhat returning the favor for the Kazmir trade by throwing in John Maine in the deal. The guy you hired chose to throw him in.

And we're the ones you don't want to deal with?

Is this the reason that "nobody likes the Mets prospects"? Maybe it's a rouse that all the owners in baseball are colluding on. Maybe, just maybe, everyone actually loves the Mets prospects but are so worried that each Mets trade is another brick in the wall of world domination that you're so worried about, that nobody will trade with us because Omar uses his super-secret mind power to trick guys into including middling starting pitchers in their deal only to have him become a star when the leave your team and come to the Mets. Yeah, that has to be...because it's been like that for years.

You don't want to trade Erik Bedard to the Mets, fine. See if I care. Nobody is trading an ace to the Mets these days anyway. But don't hide behind your own stupidity stemming from trading John Maine for Anna Benson. "Ooh, they fleeced us! Mommy!!!" Stop it! Just stop it!

Excuse me while my eyes roll so fast that I used them to bowl a 300 at the latest PBA event.

Get Me That Photo...And Shut Down The Mets While You're Out

See this picture? Nice picture, eh? Did you know that pictures like this are run from one part of the stadium to the other on game day by kids making next to nothing? Would you believe that one of these "kids" was on the hill Monday night making the Mets lineup look like Smuckers jelly?

Yes, that's right. Jason Hirsh, who came in at 3-7 and a 5.21 ERA made Jose Reyes look like Jose Cardenal. Paul Lo Duca look like Paul Lynde. Carlos Beltran look like Beltran Perez. Carlos Delgado look like...well he looks about the same.

Imagine that, a guy who actually currently holds an off-season job as a photo runner for the San Diego Chargers shut the Mets down in freakin' Coors Field. And he gets two hits tonight to boot! He had one all season! ONE! He even drove in two runs! Think of how much worse this would have been if Hirsh hadn't had to leave the game with a rolled ankle on the bases, forcing our friend Jorge Julio into the game.

Oh no, don't blame the humidor on this one (stupid lousy humidor).

***

People have talked about how some Omar Minaya trades haven't worked out. The problem with that is that one of them hasn't gotten a chance to work out yet.

Now it does, as Jason Vargas is set to go on Tuesday against the Rockies, and will most likely have a sustained opportunity with Oliver Perez on the DL. Sure, Matt Lindstrom and Henry Owens have held down major league jobs with the Marlins. But Owens has been oft injured, and Lindstrom is...well, he's okay. But Vargas hasn't had a chance to even out the trade a little bit (outside of starting the game against the Cubs which featured a five run ninth inning Met comeback). He will, starting on Tuesday.

That doesn't mean I'm not scared to death, especially after what the Rockies did to Tom Glavine during the third inning on Monday. Rick Peterson had better do some heavy duty counseling for this one (too bad he can't counsel the lineup).

***

Looks like The Paul Lo Duca Campaign is responding to reports that the wheels are in motion for Lo Duca to leave the team after the season in favor of Ronny Paulino. Even though the All-Star election is over, The Campaign would still appreciate the courtesy of your vote.

Please be aware that The Campaign will roll along with or without you. As you can see below, The Campaign has supporters from far and wide.

You are advised to join The Campaign. Shun it at your own risk.

(Editor's note: Ronny Paulino is on the Pirates. He beat us once. If this were an actual campaign, Lo Duca would never resort to smear tactics against an opponent such as Ronny Paulino. We here at Musings and Prophecies have no issue with Ronny Paulino besides the fact that he beat the Mets in September of 2006, and wish not to burn bridges with Mr. Paulino just in case these reports are true.)

***

And finally, by request, some special July analysis regarding the New York Rangers:

Oh heck yeah!

Now go get Shanny back and grab a defenseman and give me that tingly feeling all over.

How was that for analysis?

Your 2007 N.L. East Preview: Florida Marlins

Some of the greatest lies told in history:

1. "The check is in the mail."
2. "I'll respect you in the morning."
3. "I knew the Marlins would be good last year."

No, it's not. No, you aren't. And no...you didn't.

The Marlins were the most surprising story of 2006 after "Fire Sale II: Electric Boogaloo" that previous winter. Who dared to give the Marlins a chance to hang around the .500 mark one season after unloading the likes of Josh Beckett, Luis Castillo, Juan Pierre, and two players who were major Mets contributors in Carlos Delgado and Paul Lo Duca.

But every break that the Marlins could have gotten in terms of the development of young players, they got. Hanley Ramirez was the Rookie of the Year without leading the rookies in his own team in HR's and RBI...that honor went to middle infield partner Dan "Rule Five" Uggla. Josh Willingham went .277/26/74 in his first full season. Mike Jacobs overcame a lousy first two months and an injury riddled last two months to hit .262 with 20 HR's (shows you how good those middle two months were). Anibal Sanchez went 10-3 with a 2.83 ERA and a no-hitter to his credit (that's four no-hitters for the Marlins in their history, none for the Mets...just thought I'd throw that out there). Scott Olsen went 12-10 with a 4.04 ERA and almost killed Miguel Cabrera.

The Marlins' rookies were so good that the one rookie I thought would shine probably had the tamest season of them all.

The Marlins shored up their bullpen today by trading prospect Yusmeiro Petit for Julio Jorge (no, Anna...it's Jorge Julio) , who will be their closer. (It always scares me when former Mets are traded for each other...when another circle of life closes like that, the ramifications for Mets personnel and fans alike can't be good.) Sure, Julio was ineffective in New York, but he's a more seasoned option than Henry Owens and Matt Lindstrom (see, more former Mets involved...very scary), who were the leading candidates to close before the trade. It improves the club, but it does so in a small market kind of way, as part of Julio's charm for Florida was his relative inexpensiveness, as they were also looking towards trading for Armando Benitez (that makes five former Mets used in context regarding another team in one paragraph. I think I just opened up a porthole to an evil alternate universe.)

The Marlins' surprise season made them the odds on "trendy pick" to win in 2007 until the Phillies got hot over the last two months of the season. The big "if", however, is what will happen to this team because of the ouster of Joe Girardi in favor of...well, technically Fredi Gonzalez, but to be real: Joe Girardi was let go in favor of "Not Joe Girardi". Girardi's rules and structure (and general "hard assness") kept a young team together through the end in the wild card race. Can Fredi Gonzalez do the same thing? Well, most managers would be silly to try to be his predecessor. It would also be silly to try too hard to be the "polar opposite" of his predecessor, and I wonder if that's what Gonzalez is going to try to do subconsciously to try to please his owner, Jeffrey Loria ("Sure Mr. Loria, go ahead and yell at the umpires for me...after all, it's your team!")

And don't count out Fire Sale III: Through The Olive Trees as long as Dontrelle Willis continues to be followed by rumors. But even after Willis' brush with the law this offseason, don't be surprised if it's Miguel Cabrera and not Dontrelle that finds a bus ticket out of town under his pillow one July evening.

Prediction: Fourth place, 75-87