Finishing What Wes Helms Started

I'm sure most of you saw this on Metsblog, but for those that didn't, here is Shea Stadium's last stand earlier today:



I know the dream is coming. It may not be tonight ... it may not be tomorrow ... it may not be until next winter. But the dream is coming. It'll be the one where I'm in Shea Stadium, and Darryl Strawberry is trying to bat in the bottom of the ninth, down by three with the bases loaded against Todd Worrell through a driving rainstorm when the umps finally pull the tarp on the field. And we'll all have to go to the ramps to wait out the rain. Except that all of a sudden I'll look around, and the ramp that I'm on is one of the ramps in the above video, and the rest of the stadium will magically disappear, replaced by rubble. And I'm all alone watching the welder below slice open the piece of metal which sends the whole thing down. And I'll be grabbing on to the side for dear life but it's no use, because I'm going down with that last piece of rubble.

And when I emerge from the pile, the welder takes off his mask revealing himself to be Bobby Bonilla. And he's laughing at me.

Cue the cold sweat.

If The Mets Don't Get Derek Lowe ...

Blame this guy ...

Investors scrambled on Friday to assess potential losses from the $50 billion fraud allegedly perpetrated by Bernard Madoff, a day after the arrest of the prominent Wall Street trader.

Prosecutors and regulators accused the 70-year-old former chairman of the Nasdaq Stock Market of masterminding a Ponzi scheme of epic proportions through a hedge fund he ran (...)

The real estate investment firm Sterling Equities, co-founded by New York Mets owners Fred Wilpon and Saul Katz, had money invested with Bernard Madoff’s firm, CNBC has confirmed.

"Among our various investments, we have accounts managed by Madoff Securities,” the company said, in a statement. "We are shocked by recent events and, like all investors, will continue to monitor the situation."

In a unrelated story, Bobby Bonilla was rumored to have called the Mets to make sure that the $1,193,248.20 check he's due to get every year from 2011-2035 wasn't in any jeopardy. This call reportedly was made moments after looking up "Ponzi scheme" on Wikipedia with his friend's blackberry during a blackjack game.*

*This call may or may not have happened.

Check Your Inbox

"One pitch, one at bat, one play, one situation, think ‘small’ and ‘big’ things result, tough at-bats, lots of walks, stay up the middle with men on base, whatever it takes to ‘keep the line moving’ on offense, 27 outs on defense, the Mets know you’re better than they are. They remember last year. You guys are never out of a game. Welcome the challenge that confronts you this weekend. You are the stars. Good luck. #20."

-Mike Schmidt, in an e-mail to the Phillies before Friday night's 3-0 Met defeat.

Thankfully, the Mets family showed that once you leave the Mets, you never really leave the Mets. And they responded after the game with a flood of e-mails in support of the current team:

"Gosh golly boys, you can do it! Gee whiz! And just know that if you need me to manage, I'm a phone call away." -Gary Carter

"Hey you need that extra motivation against the Phillies. You need that second gear. Hey, tough guys, you need ... Shave Zone!" -Lee Mazzilli

"If they ain't startin', you ain't departin." -Garry Templeton

"Hey, just letting you know that now that my team is out of the running, that I'm rootin' for ya ... take 'em to school like that school was in Colorado!" -Mike Hampton

"F**k Whitey! F**k the f**king Cardinals. Wait, what? They're playing the Phillies? Oh. Hey, you need stock tips?" -Lenny Dykstra

"Show 'em the Bronx!" -Bobby Bonilla

"Hey guys, I know how to make this loss hurt a whole lot less ... if you're interested." -Tony Tarasco

"Does Von Hayes still play for them? No? Oh, good. Go get 'em boys! -Calvin Schiraldi

"As long as you battle you'll be winners in my book! -Art Howe

"I wish you the best of luck." -Brent Gaff

P.S. Yes, I did play for the Mets. Does anybody remember me?

"Gregg Jefferies sucks!" -Roger McDowell

"Don't worry about not scoring runs tonight. Your offense is so good you'll come out this series and explode ... like that M-80 that I hurled towards a school girl." -Vince Coleman

"Hey, you still need bullpen help?" -Toby Borland

"Just keep 'em off the scoreboard in the first inning next time and you'll be fine." -Tom Glavine

"What the hell is 'e-mail'?" -Kevin McReynolds

Shea Stadium: The Board Game

Off days and rainouts stink.

What is a Met fan to do on those lonely off days and rainouts during April besides wonder why Willie Randolph consistently mismanages his bullpen?

Well now, you can combine off-day fun with Shea Stadium nostalgia with a great new board game titled: "Shea Stadium: The Board Game"! Can you get through a day at Shea without being pinched by the ushers, buying a cold knish, getting into an fistfight with a Yankee fan, or seeing Carlos Beltran strike out in a big spot? Now, you can experience the fun, excitement, and frustration of seeing the Mets at Shea Stadium from the comfort of your own living room! So help celebrate the final season at Shea Stadium with this addicting board game!

*Click board for optimal view ... template shamlessly stolen from here. Extended game play may cause drooling and dizzyness.

Get Your Free 2008 Stuff

First off, I want to congratulate Dave Magadan and the Boston Red Sox for winning the World Championship, their second in four seasons. The Sox were the best team all season, and certainly had this coming to them. Congrats, boys!

By now, you probably are aware of what this title means...it means that because of a promotion by Jordan's furniture, Sox fans who bought their furniture during a two week stretch in April now have that furniture for free thanks to Boston's world championship.

To that end, the New York Mets are being creative for some of their promotions next season:

• Pokerstars.net is offering a promotion where you can play all you want in the month of April. If the Mets hire Rickey Henderson or Bobby Bonilla as coaches, all your losses during the month are covered.
• Along the same lines, Nathan's has a promotion where if Henderson, the world's biggest hot dog, returns to active duty with the Mets and steals a base, everyone in America will get a free hot dog! (But only if you go to Nathan's between 4 and 5 AM on December 25th, 2008.
• The courthouse in Kew Gardens is running an interesting promotion: If Willie Randolph is ejected from a game in 2008, your pending court cases in October will be, you guessed it, thrown out!
• Hey, seniors! Your AARP dues for 2008 will be waived if the Mets bring back Julio Franco (as a player, or a coach.)
• And finally, if the Mets choke away a bigger lead in '08 than they did in '07, just visit your neighborhood Kentucky Fried Chicken and get all the free chicken you can eat during the month of October (boneless, for your protection.)

So you see, with all the time off they've had this past month, the Mets have spent that time wisely to come up with some exciting promotions to enhance your enjoyment of the upcoming season. I for one can't wait.

All Over October

Because having a Met free October has really given me nothing to do, and because I can't help but think that either Kaz Matsui or Tony Clark may...quite possibly...exit this 2007 baseball season with a ring, I did some research.

You wouldn't believe what I found.

And you wouldn't believe I found it because:

• somebody else didn't think of this first, or...
• Metstradamus has no life.

I wanted to find the last World Series Champion whose roster had been completely devoid, throughout their entire championship season, of a player who had previously spent time with the Mets. I figured it would be easy enough to find this out through the incomparable Baseball Reference website. You could have done this yourself, but you've most likely found better things to do than to wonder about such things.

Last season, we all bemoaned the fact that Braden Looper got himself a World Series ring.

In 2005, the White Sox featured Carl Everett and Timo Perez.

Yes, that Timo Perez.

The curse-breaking 2004 Red Sox had Pedro Astacio on their roster at some point...along with Jersey Bobby Jones for three games.

Surely, there had to be a recent team not to have an ex-Met on it, right?

2003 featured the Florida Marlins, with Lenny "Pork Chop" Harris.

The 2002 Rally Monkeys had Donne Wall in their bullpen.

All right, the 2001 Diamondbacks. They couldn't have had an ex-Met on their roster, right? Wrong...they had Armando Reynoso.

(Mind you, we're not talking about future Mets like Jay Bell and Mike DiFelice...only players who had already spent time in Flushing when they were on a team that went on to win the World Series.)

Uh-oh. Now I'm starting to get worried, because those Yankee teams featured plenty of ex-Mets, much to our chagrin...as Jose Vizcaino killed the Mets in the 2000 Series, 1999 featured David Cone, and 1998 had Darryl Strawberry. Even the '97 Marlins had Bobby Bonilla.

I think I'm starting to get sick.

The 1996 Yankees had Dwight Gooden along with Strawberry, which at the time was bad enough.

All right, the 1995 Braves...there's a team that couldn't have possibly had a former Met on it, right?

Oh damn, their back-up catcher was Charlie O'Brien. And they also had Alejandro Pena. (Yeesh!)

The 1993 Blue Jays had plenty of future Mets like Al Leiter, Shawn Green, and Carlos Delgado. But former Mets? Just one...Dick Schofield (yet one is enough).

The '92 Jays had our friend David Cone.

The Twins in 1991 were loaded with them, partly thanks to the Frank Viola trade, between Kevin Tapani and David West. They also had Tom Edens and Junior Ortiz. Remember those two? Edens pitched one game for the Mets, and I believe it was in Los Angeles...and he wore number 32. Why must God curse me with a memory full of useless things while I lose my house keys five times a day?

(Actually, he pitched two games for the Mets, so I don't feel too bad. But I was right about the Dodgers.)

The Reds in 1990 had Randy Myers and Herm Winningham.

The 1989 Athletics...and believe me, this is a stretch...but they did have ,for 79 very mediocre at bats, a guy named Billy Beane.

Don't remind me about 1988 and Dodger reliever Jesse Orosco.

The Twins in 1987? Would you believe Beane again? (Along with a guy named Jeff Reardon.)

And that brings us to 1986, our last title.

And wouldn't you know it, the 1985 Kansas City Royals featured nobody who had previously worn the Mets uniform.

So besides the fact that I have absolutely nothing to do with my time thanks to the collapse, it should tell you that the Red Sox shouldn't measure their fingers for rings just yet (the Red Sox are devoid of former Mets on their roster, while Cleveland features Chip Caray's favorite pitcher: Paul Byrd).

It should tell you that when the 2007 Mets' roster turns over, at least one of the jettisoned players will win a ring in '08 and make us sigh. (And it gives Tampa Bay some hope...Thanks again, Jim Duquette.)

And it tells us that the only way to break this cycle is for the Mets to win the series their own selves. Or else, the curse continues.

All In

So, baseball gods...I see you've called my bluff.

I asked for a reason for belief. You saw that with a one hitter, raised me a benches clearing brawl as an extra sign of life...and a Phillies loss to the Nationals.

Do I call? Do I fold? Do I raise?

I'm all in, baby.

Here I go, baseball gods...all my chips are at the center of the table and I've got acey deucey going up against your jack-six. Let's turn over those cards.

Show me an ace on the flop...an ace as in Tommy Glavine.

Show me a deuce on the turn...as in two wins by the Nationals.

You give me that, there's no need for the river...as in the river crossed by going over the Walt Whitman bridge for a one game playoff with the Phillies.

You're surprised? You're surprised that I'm all in? Why? Do you think I'm scared of you? You think I'm scared because two weeks ago I had a chip pile a mile high, and now I'm down to a handful? Well maybe as the days grew by I was discouraged...but I've pretty much lost everything. There's nothing more to lose at this point. And as you know, it's dangerous to deal cards to someone who's got nothing to lose.

Am I blinking? Not really. In fact I'm staring you baseball gods down without so much as batting an eyelash. Because really, what if I lose? What if you get three sixes and wipe me out? What do I have to be afraid of? Making you guys mad? Feeling your wrath? What more can you do to me that hasn't already been done to me?

Karma? Should I be afraid of baseball karma? Karma's a bitch, you say? Yes, I've said it too. And you know what?

F**k Karma!

What the f**k has Karma gotten me over the last two weeks? I'll tell you what it's gotten me...f***ing grief, that's what! Hell I've practically left the Yankees and Yankee fans alone this season and what has it gotten me? They've made a miraculous comeback from the dead, every rookie they have has a Yankeeography, and they're tearing down the bat at Yankee Stadium to make room for the gold plated statue of Joba Chamberlain for the fans to meet by. Make that the backdrop to my team's collapse, and you want to tell me that Karma plays this game of baseball fair? You want to tell me that Karma doesn't have aces up it's sleeve to use against me, like it did in '87? In '99? In 2000? In 2001? Game seven last year? Where exactly is the reward I get from Karma for not messing with it?

F**k Karma!!! I'm staring Karma down just like I'm staring you down, baseball gods. And if the city of Philadelphia wants to get in on the staredown then bring it on, boys and girls. I know you want nothing better than to knock us down, and I know you're beating down the doors to the castle waiting to come in and bury us once and for all. I know you're there and I'm waiting for you with my chips at the center of the table.

And Mets fans, I'm staring you down too. I'm staring you down because I want you all in with me. I want you in if you've believed all season. I want you in if you gave up somewhere along the way. I want you in if you've said that this is the last straw with this team. I want you in because I've done all three. I've felt it all. I've been to hell and back. I was at the Pendleton game. I was at the Scioscia game. I was at Game Five in 2000. Whatever you've seen, I've seen it.

Whatever you've felt, I've felt it.

Whatever you've done, I've done it.

Whatever you've thrown against the wall in anger, I've broken the wall with it.

Whatever the Mets have done to your heart, I've taken medicine for it.

And even after all that...even after Mike Stanton, Kenny Rogers, Brian Jordan, Art Howe, Terry Pendleton, Bobby Bonilla, Vince Coleman, Armando Benitez, Larry Jones, Willie Harris, Jimmy Rollins, and the rest of the rogues gallery of Mets criminals, I'm still willing to put everything on the line knowing that this team we're banking on could fold their hand and come up with the game that's going to make every bad moment in this franchise history seem like a ticker tape parade in comparison.

I know it. I embrace it. And I refuse to fear it anymore. Because according to the rest of the world, we're mongrels. They want us dead and buried once and for all.

Are you really going to turn in your cards and fold after that?

Not me.

As for you baseball gods, you're trying to get a bad beat on me, and I say bring it. There's two cards to turn over on Sunday. Maybe one card on Monday. I'm ready for whatever happens. They say never bet money that you're afraid to lose, and it's high time to stop being afraid. Here's my ace, here's my deuce. You beat it, you win. Remember that you don't have all my money yet...and a wise man once said that if you don't have my money then you are mine.

So, baseball gods...let's play some cards.

Molina Sauced

Think of the most disgusting thing you've ever seen.

All right...now think about it again.

You have Monday night's Met game.

A 9-4 loss, where only three of the Giant runs were earned, was not exactly the way to show Barry Zito that he made the wrong decision in signing with the Giants instead of the Mets. No, instead Zito laughs at the Mets, and rightly so after his own fifth inning two out base hit, ugly errors by Damion Easley and Shawn Green (boys and girls if you haven't seen those errors, trust me they were ugly...like your brother after a bender...all right, like my brother after a bender) paved the way for a Rich Aurilia home run, and a second Bengie Molina home run...not in the game, in the inning, off of Lino Urdaneta who had just taken over for a flustered Oliver Perez.

Now don't get me wrong, Easley and Green deserve to sleep in their swanky San Francisco hotel rooms while hanging from their ankles after those awful plays. And it's a lot to ask Perez to be focused after not only those plays, but the earlier Bengie Molina home run, which may or may not have actually gone out, but it was so close to the fan in the front row, and I'm not as convinced as Gary Cohen that it didn't touch him, so I'm not going to get on the umpires for that one. But Ollie pulled an El Sid, as in Sid Fernandez, after that Green error. I've explained a typical Sid Fernandez game before, which is five innings of one hit, ten strikeout baseball...but a walk and an error in the sixth would cause him to lose his concentration and give up a bomb.

That is Oliver Perez. When he's on, he's on. But he has to stay out of trouble. Because if Oliver Perez gets in a jam, then run for cover because the roof is caving in and you need to be under a table or a hard surface. It's hard to really throw a lot of blame his way, because Easley and Green really let him down. But Perez has to toughen up a hair and bail out his teammates, because unfortunately, this isn't the last time a Met is going to make an error...so the situation is going to come up once again. And Perez can't afford to have the ghost of Sid haunt him too many more times. If Perez gets Aurilia out at 3-1 down, it's still a winnable ball game. Instead, the fifth inning ended at 9-1, and I was strongly considering watching a Superman special on the History channel instead of torturing myself at the prospect of watching four innings of meaningless baseball.

I...of course...chose self-torture.

(And by the way, if I never see another Molina brother catching again, it'll be too damn soon. Unfortunately, there's actually a fourth Molina brother catching in the major leagues. And Gustavo Molina isn't even related to the other three...he's just guilty by association.)

***

The crack staff has uncovered some breaking news...in response to Roger Clemens' announcement from the owner's box that he is returning, the Mets planned a similar announcement upon their return home on Friday, as Bobby Bonilla was going to fly from Diamond Vision to home plate on a suspension wire to announce that he is making a grand return to the majors to boost the Mets lineup. However, during today's practice run at Shea, the wire couldn't hold Bonilla's weight, and somewhere around the infield it snapped, sending Bonilla crashing to the ground and dislocating both of his knees, shredding his calf, and knocking the smile off his face in the process.

According to inside sources, if this had happened during an actual game, Jose Reyes would have been flattened by Bonilla's massive weight, and equally massive ego. Reyes may not have made it.

The Hate List Hall of Fame

You have spoken, Mets faithful. And it's official:

You love the hate list.

First off, let's give credit where credit is due. The hate list is a subconscious derivative of the "a-hole of the moment" feature from the Dodger Blues website. For those of you who think I'm funny, trust me; I don't hold a candle to these guys. Check 'em out.

Your adoration for the hate list got me thinking...if I really applied myself, I could put together a whole 25 man roster just of players that I hate (25 years of angst can't be narrowed down to just one player). And what can be better than that? I mean, people love to hate, right? ESPN dedicated a whole article on hate.

I live by the axiom: "Give the people what they want." So on this off day, I'm giving you what you want: HATE, and lots of it. Here now, my 25 man roster for the Metstradamus Hall of Hate:

Catcher: Mike Scioscia/Dodgers Catcher is a tough position to call...I have tremendous respect for catchers. And there aren't a lot of catchers that are societal freaks and curmudgeons. So it came down to one thing to get Scioscia on this list. Game 4, 1988 NLCS. It was cold...bitter cold. And Scioscia's HR ensured that I would sit in the upper deck for three more innings and watch the Mets lose.

First Base: Jeff Kent/Many Teams Kent has played some first base so he goes here to make room for my hall of fame second baseman. It didn't help that Kent came in the David Cone deal (another great Mets trade). His refusal to wear the clown outfit for rookie initiation exposed him as a sociopath. Then started his assault on hall of fame numbers after he leaves. And his fake Texas accent ticks me off. The man with the porn star mustache is from California for heaven's sake! The only time I ever rooted for Barry Bonds was in his dugout fight with Kent.

Second Base: Robby Alomar/Mets From day one, was not excited about being a Met...complaining about Mark Shapiro and how Cleveland mistreated him, then near the end complained that he didn't have a reason to come to the ballpark. Boo hoo. I'll forever love Roger Cedeno for teasing Alomar about his baseball card and causing Alomar to expose himself as a thin-skinned crybaby.

Shortstop: Rey Ordonez/Mets Another tough position to call, but when you call Met fans "too stupid", you zoom to the top of the list...especially when it's the only time in seven years that you decided to speak english to reporters. (Derek Jeter should get a special mention here, but I hate more what he represents and the elevated status he gets from the New York press at the expense at the rest of the Yankees roster, than the man himself. I won't even mention how Jeter's whole legacy started on a home run that should have been an out.)

Third Base: Larry Jones/Braves He could be the utility man of the group, since he can play short and left field as well. But I have lots of outfielders for this team and not really anyone else at third. Larry, who said that Met fans would go home and put on their Yankee gear, and named his child Shea for crying out loud, is the clear cut winner at third.

Left Field: Vince Coleman/Cardinals and Mets For those who are only old enough to remember Brave hate, in the mid 80's there was Cardinals hate...now that was hate. Coleman was one of the pesky punch and judy slap hitters that drove the Mets nuts...then came to the Mets and was useless. On top of that, he threw firecrackers at children, thought that playing on grass would keep him out of the hall of fame, and didn't know who Jackie Robinson was! What a role model.

Center Field: Ken Griffey Jr./Reds Turns down a trade to the Mets in 2000 so he can go home to Cincinnati. After that, can't stay healthy, and misses out on the Subway Series that he could have been the difference for. Karma's a bitch, aint it Junior?

Right Field: Bobby Bonilla/Mets Do you realize that from 2011 to 2035, Bobby Bonilla will be receiving checks from the Mets to finish the big contract he signed? And for what? For being the centerpiece of the worst team in history? For daring reporters to knock the smile off his face? For threatening to show a reporter the Bronx? For playing cards with Rickey Henderson during Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS?

Righty Ace: Roger Clemens/Yankees "I thought it was the ball." Jackass!

Lefty Ace: Mike Hampton/Rockies The inspiration for this article. (Editor's note: Great catch as usual by Matt Cerrone where the compensatory pick from Hampton's departure turned into David Wright. That's some silver lining. However, I will continue to enjoy the Mets bashing his brains in at every opportunity).

Third Starter: Mike Scott/Astros While a Met, was dubbed "The Human White Flag". Then waits until he leaves to learn to cheat. Was the MVP of the 1986 NLCS for cheating in games 1 and 4.

Fourth Starter: John Tudor/Cardinals One of the best lines I ever read about a pitcher, and I can't remember where it was from, was that "John Tudor always looks like he's pitching right after a root canal surgery". Priceless.

Fifth Starter: David Wells/Yankees It takes a lot to make this team without having any direct connections with the Mets, but Wells does it. But he makes the list because he says stupid things like "If I were Kenny Rogers, I would have done the same thing", then proceeds to know why the cameraman was winking. I could sit here and say that Wells is really brave when it comes to talking to the media about such things, and that I bet he wouldn't have the guts to go up to the cameraman and tell him what he thinks...and that Wells is one of those guys who purposely takes the controversial side so he can be "hip and edgy" so he can have a permanent place on the panel of "The Best Damn Sports Show, Period" when he retires. But I don't know Wells personally, so I would never say such things. And until Wells gets to know this cameraman personally, the fat drunk should butt out!

Righty Closer: Armando Benitez/Mets Has the intestinal fortitude of a marshmallow. Can't win a big game, whines that the media only talks to him when he loses, and only throws at a hitter because he hits him well (a la Clemens).

Lefty Closer: John Rocker/Braves You know why. I'm not going to insult your intelligence by expounding any further.

Middle Relief: Donne Wall/Mets Gives up a home run to Jason Jennings in Jennings' first ever game. I spent the next half inning heckling him mercilessly. There's a good story that goes with this, but I have to save some stuff for posting in the off-season when it's slow.

Middle Relief: Mike Stanton/Yankees and Mets Those of you who read regularly know that I can't stand Mike Stanton. It's not only the fact that Stanton was an important cog on the great Yankee teams and gave up three run HR's to the likes of Endy Chavez as a Met, but during the post game celebration after the 2000 World Series, Stanton actually bothered to spray champagne at the TV screen in the clubhouse when Bobby Valentine was doing a post game interview. I wanted no part of him after that. And not only that, Stanton was the guy who whined and bitched that the Mets were too public with their 9/11 charity work (thank you darth marc for reminding me of that). Only Mike Stanton could take a horrible tragedy and use it as a point for Yankee/Met propaganda. Good job, you're a class act. Now go have a another McRib.

Middle Relief: Mike DeJean/Mets An awful, awful pitcher. But that alone usually doesn't get you on this team...Mike DeJean pulled a Bobby Bonilla and complained to the official scorer about charging David Wright with an error so his ERA would go down from 800 to 799.90. David Wright is the future of the franchise and Mike DeJean is a washed up reliever who once argued with his manager on the mound for all to see. But DeJean felt it necessary to throw Wright under a bus. Nice.

Bench: Brian Jordan/Braves When he was traded away from Atlanta for Gary Sheffield, I thought the Mets got the best end of the deal...they wouldn't see Brian Jordan 19 times a year.

Bench: Eddie Perez/Braves This team needs a catcher, and Eddie Perez is one of those guys that chirps when a pitcher throws a ball one inch inside.

Bench: Pat Burrell/Phillies Why he turns into a monster at Shea is beyond me.

Bench: Terry Pendleton/Cardinals September 11th, 1987 may be the most heartbreaking game I've ever been to at Shea. Two outs, two strikes, ninth inning, Mets up by two runs with Roger McDowell on the mound and one strike away from cutting the Cardinals' lead in the division to a mere half game...Terry Pendleton moves up in the box to jack a sinker out to center field to tie the game. Then after getting two runners on for Keith Hernandez in the bottom of the inning, he grounded out to first and the Cards won it in the 10th. It's generally regarded as the game which cemented the pennant for the Cardinals. Once again, there's a great story that accompanies this game, but I'm not emptying my chamber at this point. Let's just say that Pendleton home run caused many a fan to go home with sore bones for years after.

Bench: Pedro Guerrero/Dodgers You may think Pedro makes the list solely for throwing his bat at David Cone after being hit with a curveball, but before a 1988 game at Shea Stadium, Pedro Guerrero made an effort to sign every program down the third base line...and skipped me! Yeah, this one's a little personal but, my team...my rules.

Bench: Jose Vizcaino/Yankees Remember that game winning hit in game one of the World Series that the traitor was responsible for? Well Vizcaino received the ball from either a fan or a stadium type, but Vizcaino lost the ball in the glove compartment of a rented car. It's a small victory, but I still hate him.

Bench: Juan Gonzalez/Rangers "I want to be a Met" he says before he decides to sign with the Rangers. He's played 186 games in the three and 1/2 seasons since his last minute change of heart. See: "Ken Griffey Jr."

Manager: Whitey Herzog/Cardinals As I have said before, before Braves hate, there was Cardinals hate. And the personification of Cardinals hate was their manager, Whitey Herzog. His nickname, "The White Rat" was fitting. I can't think of any more fitting punishment for him than to manage this bunch.

Bench Coach: Art Howe/Mets Here is all you need to know about Art Howe: August 29th, 2004, after basically being asleep the entire season, wakes up in time to pull off his greatest managerial feat in his Met career...he plays the infield in with a runner on third base with the score 8-1 Dodgers. As you know, a 7 run lead with one out in the eighth is fine, but an eight run lead in the eighth is insurmountable. (Otherwise known as "WHY?") Steve Finley singled to center to drive in the run, and put the game away.

Bench Coach: Dallas Green/Mets There are many others you can make a case for here, Buddy Harrelson and Jeff Torborg come to mind. And while I see the arguments I go with Dallas Green for basically throwing away Jeromy Burnitz and ruining Generation K by pitching them into the ground.

General Manager: Al Harazin/Mets Oh lord Harazin was beyond bad...he wasn't even a baseball guy, he was a lawyer posing as a baseball man. I think he's actually teaching a law class now. This was the man that not only wheeled David Cone, but put together that awful 1993 team. Frank Tanana? Tony Fernandez? Butch Huskey? Harazin wins...hands down!

Uniforms: 1993 Mets home uniforms The official wardrobe of failure.

Close runner up: The 1988-1992 Mets road unis. When the Mets went to a script "New York" for the roadies during the 1987 season, Wally Backman had mentioned that the best part about the new unis was that the letters weren't in block form to look like the Yankees. So what do the Mets do in 1988? They go with the Yankee style block letters. Thanks for listening.