David Newhan Has Sent You an E-Card

Saturday night was the sixth anniversary of a very painful event in this Met fan's life. Six years later, I celebrated it by returning to Shea with one of the very same people that I was with that night. How did David Newhan celebrate? By reminding me that the world still spins on its axis. What kind of world would it be if former Mets didn't return to Shea to beat up their former team? You know how bad Newhan's production was last season? I saw over half if it live. And I didn't go to that many games last season. Now he comes to Shea as an Astro and he's Wade &^#%$@ Boggs. It's unbelievable, yet typical at the same time.

And a Happy Donne Wall Day to you. Hope you got your shopping done, and hung your Jason Jennings press clippings by the chimney with care.

Mardi Blah

Perhaps Thursday's demotion of Joe Smith is a thinly veiled attempt to get the lad a short vacation. Perhaps, he's not going to New Orleans at all. Perhaps he's really going to Cancun or something to spend a week in the sun.

Because if he's hit a wall, as we all believe, then what will pitching in New Orleans solve exactly? The guy needs to be resting in New Orleans.

(Now may not be a great time to bring this up, but Jose Lima is 13-4 in the Mexican league.)

Speaking of hitting walls, Oliver Perez hit his in the sixth inning today, with weapons ranging from broken bat hits, infield hits, sacrifice bunts thrown to Scarsdale (at least Ollie's control to home plate isn't as bad as his control to first base), to hard hit balls off of David Wright's kneecap and long home runs by ex-Yankees. A smorgasbord of disaster for Perez, who's own error made the five runs he gave up unearned. (Mike DeJean thinks that Nady's line drive should have been and error on David Wright.)

But it was Smith that concerned the Mets brass enough that they took the completely unexpected step of sending Smith to New Orleans after yesterday's 8-4 loss to the Pirates. It started against San Diego, as he got rocked in two games at Petco. But Smith's meltdown today against the heart of the Pirates order, where the trademark movement on Smith's pitches was not there, was apparently the last straw...for now. I'm wondering how people are feeling this morning about the fact that Smith is in the minor leagues while Aaron Sele still has a job. Then again, Sele pitches once a month so if there's any arm that isn't dead, it's Sele's.

So we welcome the Jon Adkins Experience, which is kind of like those rides where you go straight down at 100 mph, except instead of down, you're going up...up...and over the left field wall. Hey, that's what we should do with Shea after the Mets move...make it an amusement park, slingshot fans from home plate over the outfield wall, and call it the Jon Adkins Experience. Or the Donne Wall Experience. Or whoever will sponsor it.

(It could be the Armando Benitez Experience, especially after what happened to him on Thursday.)

The other ride could be the Fluff Castro Experience, where you could attempt to slide into second base. But the area around it isn't dirt, but filled with a mix of quicksand and oatmeal. (Riders would actually have to make it to second base to win a prize.)

This Date In Met Infamy

Mark at Mets Walkoffs has put together a comprehensive list of the worst Mets relievers of all time. If you're into self torture, and a bed of hot coals isn't readily available, then use the memories evoked by Mark's well done piece.

The one reliever that Mark didn't mention, yet is a charter member of the Metstradamus Hall of Hate, is Donne Wall. Wall had an unspectacular and undistinguished Met career...0-4 with a 4.85 ERA in 42 and 2/3 innings pitched as a Met in 2001, after being traded here for Bubba Trammell.

But four years ago to this very day is the day that will live in infamy for Donne Wall, Metstradamus, and even Lenny Harris. And although I was going to save this until the off-season, the stars have aligned for me to tell this tale of horror from exactly four years ago.

It was August 23rd, 2001. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I actually acquired some primo seats right behind third base for the Rockies/Mets matchup. The Mets went in at 58-68, and the Rockies a bit worse at 53-72 (which is probably how my seats were so good.) I was with my friend the jinx, my brother, and a friend of my brother's who laughed at everything I said or did that night (morphine is wonderful, isn't it?)

It hasn't been just this season...the Mets have always been prone to laying big rotten eggs against rookie pitchers. This night was no different, as Jason Jennings made his major league debut against a lineup that included such luminaries as Desi Relaford, Tsuyoshi Shinjo, and Mark Johnson (decomposition row).

This game started ugly (3 Rockie runs in the first), and went downhill from there off of Mets starter Glendon Rusch. Jennings, meanwhile, mowed down Mets hitters as if they were policemen in "Grand Theft Auto". There was no answer for him.

Now a Mets game that's pretty much over from the start, and me in a good seat, is a dangerous combination. And as the game reached the bottom of the seventh with the score 8-0 Colorado and Jennings, the pitcher in his first ever game, with two hits already, I let loose with a fury unmatched by all who have sat in that seat before. A whole season's worth of frustration was coming out of my mouth. Then Bobby Valentine made the one move that could have possibly made things worse.

He brought in Donne Wall.

Wall came to the Mets in a December 11th, 2000 deal for Bubba Trammell, who was a useful spare part for the 2000 National League champs. Wall came to New York and pitched with the intensity and urgency of a Yankee Stadium chicken finger vendor. But all of his past sins and transgressions in a Met uniform were topped by what followed in the top of the ninth inning.

After Wall gave up a run in the eighth, he faced Jennings, who was en route to shutting out decomposition row, in the ninth. Now Jennings has turned out to be a pretty good hitting pitcher (.257 lifetime entering this season) but none of us knew that then. Jennings got his third hit of the night, a deep HR into the right field bullpen for the cherry on top of the sundae of death, and a 10-0 Rockie lead. I let loose with a barrage of heckles aimed at Wall, including one that I borrowed from a local writer:

"Hey Donne! Is that why they call you Donne 'over the' Wall?"

My brother lost it.

The jinx lost it.

My brother's friend had to be carried off to the looney bin.

My wife swears she heard me on television.

But here's the kicker...Mets third baseman Lenny Harris almost lost it. He was seen covering his mouth with his glove in laughter. So what else could I do?

I let Lenny Harris have it.

"Hey Pork Chop! What are you laughing at!!! That's not setting a good example for your teammates, laughing at them like that!"

Then I went below the belt, and told him that he and Michael Jackson both wore a glove for no apparent reason.

What else could I do?

After going back and pounding Wall for five minutes more after that, the game was mercifully over...a 10-0 Rockie win, and a performance that landed Wall into the Hall...the Hall of Hate.

Postscript:

Immediately following that game, the Mets vaulted themselves back into contention (perhaps spurred on by my heckling), going on a 21-5 run which included an emotional win against the Braves in the first New York regular season sporting event since the 9/11 attacks. But then they hit a wall (no pun intended) in the last nine games, including the infamous Brian Jordan grand slam off of John Franco which was pretty much the last straw for the season. The Mets finished 2001 at 82-80.

The following season, after being granted free agency by the Mets, Donne Wall pitched in 17 games and had a 6.43 ERA for the World Champion Anaheim Angels (proof that like crying, there is also no justice in baseball.)

Harris, along with the Mets starting pitcher that night, Glendon Rusch, were part of a large three team trade that winter...and oddly enough the Colorado Rockies were involved. Harris and Rusch went to Milwaukee, Todd Zeile and Benny Agbayani went to the Rockies, and in return the Mets received six players from the Rockies and the Brewers...and none of them were named Jason Jennings. Harris moved from the Brewers to the Cubs in 2003, and then late in 2003 was traded to the Florida Marlins, where not only did he help defeat the Cubs in the 2003 NLCS, but like Wall, won himself a ring with Florida in 2003.
After three stints at the mental health clinic for a condition termed as "fan fatigue", Metstradamus went on to heckle such luminaries as Mark Loretta, Mo Vaughn, and Ken Griffey Jr. before taking the advice of his therapist and starting a blog from the comfort of his own home as a "healthy alternative" to heckling.

Metstradamus, unlike Wall and Harris, has not yet won a World Series ring.

The Hate List Hall of Fame

You have spoken, Mets faithful. And it's official:

You love the hate list.

First off, let's give credit where credit is due. The hate list is a subconscious derivative of the "a-hole of the moment" feature from the Dodger Blues website. For those of you who think I'm funny, trust me; I don't hold a candle to these guys. Check 'em out.

Your adoration for the hate list got me thinking...if I really applied myself, I could put together a whole 25 man roster just of players that I hate (25 years of angst can't be narrowed down to just one player). And what can be better than that? I mean, people love to hate, right? ESPN dedicated a whole article on hate.

I live by the axiom: "Give the people what they want." So on this off day, I'm giving you what you want: HATE, and lots of it. Here now, my 25 man roster for the Metstradamus Hall of Hate:

Catcher: Mike Scioscia/Dodgers Catcher is a tough position to call...I have tremendous respect for catchers. And there aren't a lot of catchers that are societal freaks and curmudgeons. So it came down to one thing to get Scioscia on this list. Game 4, 1988 NLCS. It was cold...bitter cold. And Scioscia's HR ensured that I would sit in the upper deck for three more innings and watch the Mets lose.

First Base: Jeff Kent/Many Teams Kent has played some first base so he goes here to make room for my hall of fame second baseman. It didn't help that Kent came in the David Cone deal (another great Mets trade). His refusal to wear the clown outfit for rookie initiation exposed him as a sociopath. Then started his assault on hall of fame numbers after he leaves. And his fake Texas accent ticks me off. The man with the porn star mustache is from California for heaven's sake! The only time I ever rooted for Barry Bonds was in his dugout fight with Kent.

Second Base: Robby Alomar/Mets From day one, was not excited about being a Met...complaining about Mark Shapiro and how Cleveland mistreated him, then near the end complained that he didn't have a reason to come to the ballpark. Boo hoo. I'll forever love Roger Cedeno for teasing Alomar about his baseball card and causing Alomar to expose himself as a thin-skinned crybaby.

Shortstop: Rey Ordonez/Mets Another tough position to call, but when you call Met fans "too stupid", you zoom to the top of the list...especially when it's the only time in seven years that you decided to speak english to reporters. (Derek Jeter should get a special mention here, but I hate more what he represents and the elevated status he gets from the New York press at the expense at the rest of the Yankees roster, than the man himself. I won't even mention how Jeter's whole legacy started on a home run that should have been an out.)

Third Base: Larry Jones/Braves He could be the utility man of the group, since he can play short and left field as well. But I have lots of outfielders for this team and not really anyone else at third. Larry, who said that Met fans would go home and put on their Yankee gear, and named his child Shea for crying out loud, is the clear cut winner at third.

Left Field: Vince Coleman/Cardinals and Mets For those who are only old enough to remember Brave hate, in the mid 80's there was Cardinals hate...now that was hate. Coleman was one of the pesky punch and judy slap hitters that drove the Mets nuts...then came to the Mets and was useless. On top of that, he threw firecrackers at children, thought that playing on grass would keep him out of the hall of fame, and didn't know who Jackie Robinson was! What a role model.

Center Field: Ken Griffey Jr./Reds Turns down a trade to the Mets in 2000 so he can go home to Cincinnati. After that, can't stay healthy, and misses out on the Subway Series that he could have been the difference for. Karma's a bitch, aint it Junior?

Right Field: Bobby Bonilla/Mets Do you realize that from 2011 to 2035, Bobby Bonilla will be receiving checks from the Mets to finish the big contract he signed? And for what? For being the centerpiece of the worst team in history? For daring reporters to knock the smile off his face? For threatening to show a reporter the Bronx? For playing cards with Rickey Henderson during Game 6 of the 1999 NLCS?

Righty Ace: Roger Clemens/Yankees "I thought it was the ball." Jackass!

Lefty Ace: Mike Hampton/Rockies The inspiration for this article. (Editor's note: Great catch as usual by Matt Cerrone where the compensatory pick from Hampton's departure turned into David Wright. That's some silver lining. However, I will continue to enjoy the Mets bashing his brains in at every opportunity).

Third Starter: Mike Scott/Astros While a Met, was dubbed "The Human White Flag". Then waits until he leaves to learn to cheat. Was the MVP of the 1986 NLCS for cheating in games 1 and 4.

Fourth Starter: John Tudor/Cardinals One of the best lines I ever read about a pitcher, and I can't remember where it was from, was that "John Tudor always looks like he's pitching right after a root canal surgery". Priceless.

Fifth Starter: David Wells/Yankees It takes a lot to make this team without having any direct connections with the Mets, but Wells does it. But he makes the list because he says stupid things like "If I were Kenny Rogers, I would have done the same thing", then proceeds to know why the cameraman was winking. I could sit here and say that Wells is really brave when it comes to talking to the media about such things, and that I bet he wouldn't have the guts to go up to the cameraman and tell him what he thinks...and that Wells is one of those guys who purposely takes the controversial side so he can be "hip and edgy" so he can have a permanent place on the panel of "The Best Damn Sports Show, Period" when he retires. But I don't know Wells personally, so I would never say such things. And until Wells gets to know this cameraman personally, the fat drunk should butt out!

Righty Closer: Armando Benitez/Mets Has the intestinal fortitude of a marshmallow. Can't win a big game, whines that the media only talks to him when he loses, and only throws at a hitter because he hits him well (a la Clemens).

Lefty Closer: John Rocker/Braves You know why. I'm not going to insult your intelligence by expounding any further.

Middle Relief: Donne Wall/Mets Gives up a home run to Jason Jennings in Jennings' first ever game. I spent the next half inning heckling him mercilessly. There's a good story that goes with this, but I have to save some stuff for posting in the off-season when it's slow.

Middle Relief: Mike Stanton/Yankees and Mets Those of you who read regularly know that I can't stand Mike Stanton. It's not only the fact that Stanton was an important cog on the great Yankee teams and gave up three run HR's to the likes of Endy Chavez as a Met, but during the post game celebration after the 2000 World Series, Stanton actually bothered to spray champagne at the TV screen in the clubhouse when Bobby Valentine was doing a post game interview. I wanted no part of him after that. And not only that, Stanton was the guy who whined and bitched that the Mets were too public with their 9/11 charity work (thank you darth marc for reminding me of that). Only Mike Stanton could take a horrible tragedy and use it as a point for Yankee/Met propaganda. Good job, you're a class act. Now go have a another McRib.

Middle Relief: Mike DeJean/Mets An awful, awful pitcher. But that alone usually doesn't get you on this team...Mike DeJean pulled a Bobby Bonilla and complained to the official scorer about charging David Wright with an error so his ERA would go down from 800 to 799.90. David Wright is the future of the franchise and Mike DeJean is a washed up reliever who once argued with his manager on the mound for all to see. But DeJean felt it necessary to throw Wright under a bus. Nice.

Bench: Brian Jordan/Braves When he was traded away from Atlanta for Gary Sheffield, I thought the Mets got the best end of the deal...they wouldn't see Brian Jordan 19 times a year.

Bench: Eddie Perez/Braves This team needs a catcher, and Eddie Perez is one of those guys that chirps when a pitcher throws a ball one inch inside.

Bench: Pat Burrell/Phillies Why he turns into a monster at Shea is beyond me.

Bench: Terry Pendleton/Cardinals September 11th, 1987 may be the most heartbreaking game I've ever been to at Shea. Two outs, two strikes, ninth inning, Mets up by two runs with Roger McDowell on the mound and one strike away from cutting the Cardinals' lead in the division to a mere half game...Terry Pendleton moves up in the box to jack a sinker out to center field to tie the game. Then after getting two runners on for Keith Hernandez in the bottom of the inning, he grounded out to first and the Cards won it in the 10th. It's generally regarded as the game which cemented the pennant for the Cardinals. Once again, there's a great story that accompanies this game, but I'm not emptying my chamber at this point. Let's just say that Pendleton home run caused many a fan to go home with sore bones for years after.

Bench: Pedro Guerrero/Dodgers You may think Pedro makes the list solely for throwing his bat at David Cone after being hit with a curveball, but before a 1988 game at Shea Stadium, Pedro Guerrero made an effort to sign every program down the third base line...and skipped me! Yeah, this one's a little personal but, my team...my rules.

Bench: Jose Vizcaino/Yankees Remember that game winning hit in game one of the World Series that the traitor was responsible for? Well Vizcaino received the ball from either a fan or a stadium type, but Vizcaino lost the ball in the glove compartment of a rented car. It's a small victory, but I still hate him.

Bench: Juan Gonzalez/Rangers "I want to be a Met" he says before he decides to sign with the Rangers. He's played 186 games in the three and 1/2 seasons since his last minute change of heart. See: "Ken Griffey Jr."

Manager: Whitey Herzog/Cardinals As I have said before, before Braves hate, there was Cardinals hate. And the personification of Cardinals hate was their manager, Whitey Herzog. His nickname, "The White Rat" was fitting. I can't think of any more fitting punishment for him than to manage this bunch.

Bench Coach: Art Howe/Mets Here is all you need to know about Art Howe: August 29th, 2004, after basically being asleep the entire season, wakes up in time to pull off his greatest managerial feat in his Met career...he plays the infield in with a runner on third base with the score 8-1 Dodgers. As you know, a 7 run lead with one out in the eighth is fine, but an eight run lead in the eighth is insurmountable. (Otherwise known as "WHY?") Steve Finley singled to center to drive in the run, and put the game away.

Bench Coach: Dallas Green/Mets There are many others you can make a case for here, Buddy Harrelson and Jeff Torborg come to mind. And while I see the arguments I go with Dallas Green for basically throwing away Jeromy Burnitz and ruining Generation K by pitching them into the ground.

General Manager: Al Harazin/Mets Oh lord Harazin was beyond bad...he wasn't even a baseball guy, he was a lawyer posing as a baseball man. I think he's actually teaching a law class now. This was the man that not only wheeled David Cone, but put together that awful 1993 team. Frank Tanana? Tony Fernandez? Butch Huskey? Harazin wins...hands down!

Uniforms: 1993 Mets home uniforms The official wardrobe of failure.

Close runner up: The 1988-1992 Mets road unis. When the Mets went to a script "New York" for the roadies during the 1987 season, Wally Backman had mentioned that the best part about the new unis was that the letters weren't in block form to look like the Yankees. So what do the Mets do in 1988? They go with the Yankee style block letters. Thanks for listening.