Wednesday, December 30, 2009

I Guess Beirut Wouldn't Pay The Luxury Tax

Welcome to New York, Jason Bay. Try to contain your obvious excitement.

In a related story for you fans, your season ticket deposit is due in ten minutes. Line forms to the left of the Angel Berroa Rotunda, and you can easily slip the check into Mr. Met's giant head.

Why do you think his smile is so wide?

I'm smiling too ... well, as much as a Met fan will allow himself to smile these days. Don't out-think this, boys and girls. This is a good move. In a vacuum, it's a great move. If you have doubts as to Bay's ability to hit home runs in a large park, look at his home run chart. Check out the distances on the home runs, specifically on the home runs that are labeled as "lucky". Even the lucky ones for the most part went 380. So don't get sucked into the "Citi Field as Cavernous" line of thinking on this one. Citi Field was cavernous to the Punch, Judy, and Banjo hitters that roamed the earth in Queens last season. Visitors hit 81 home runs there in '09. You know why? Because they didn't suck, that's why. So ... easy does it, Sparky.

And Jason, I'm talking to you more than anyone since you're the one that seems to worry about the park most of all. You know what happens when you let a ballpark psych you out? You get David Wright in 2009. Think about that Jason, before you try to jam a knife into your shoulder in advance of your physical which would make the Mets contract official.

(Speaking of, if you do get hurt this season, you'd do better relying on your Canadian public health care than the advice of Mets management.)

That's what worries me about Bay in Citi Field ... not that he can't hit there, but whether he'll allow himself to be messed up by the park. Bay isn't going to be a Robby Alomar at first, who did nothing but complain about being traded to the Mets from Day One and never had the right attitude to play in this city. Bay will say all the right things and smile and kiss babies if he has to, to keep the legions of "if he doesn't want to be here then screw him!" people off his back. He'll be fine in that regard, because if you can play in Boston, you can play in New York. What worries me is the day in mid-July where he's sitting in the corner of the clubhouse curled up in the fetal position wondering why Joe Urbon didn't just sign him for less money to play at Fenway when he's steaming towards the all-star break with eight home runs and the fans are chanting "Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay-ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut" at him.

So the lesson here is that a ballpark will only psych you out if you let it. It's Citi Field, not Central Park. Of course Jason, if you do get psyched out by the park, a few sessions on the couch with Howard Johnson will fix you right up.

Wait, that didn't sound right.

Oh, and defense? Hey, I like defense as much as the next guy. But show me an available current major league left fielder who sucks up every fly ball hit in his zip code and hits 30 home runs a year, and I'll show you your created video game player. So our left fielder needs a GPS on defense. What's an out of range fly ball among friends?

(Daniel Murphy just cursed under his breath.)

Earlier, I mentioned that this was a good move in a vacuum. But in the grand scheme of things, if the Mets are serious about improving their team, this will be a move, and not the move. If the Mets are serious only about collecting those season ticket invoices, then this is it ... so go back to sleep until April.

If they're serious about winning, they'll scrap this "we only have a few million left to spend" line and go revamp this rotation by signing Ben Sheets, or trading for a Red (Bronson Arroyo or Aaron Harang will do ... I'm not picky anymore), perhaps in conjunction with a Brandon Phillips acquisition (getting greedy now). Or how about Carlos Zambrano? He's available, apparently. And as crazy as he might be, and as expensive as he might be, think about having a pitcher who has never finished with an ERA above 3.99 while pitching in Wrigley Field. And think of all the wacky antics you'll enjoy when Z destroys a water cooler or puts a catcher in a full nelson. If it's Bengie Molina, so be it.

If it's his brother Yadier, all the better.


Schneck said...

Excellent post, as always. We are a couple of pitchers away from cautious optimism.

Unser said...

Zambrano . . . there's a deal there if someone in the Mets' front office gets creative. F-Mart, Pelfrey, Pagan and Castillo?

FeceMcGee said...

nice article but... where are the boobs??

Unser said...

Did you know you were quoted on MSNBC?

Hazeleyes said...

well Crazy Carlos would keep us all entertained through the darkest days, no doubt.

I am in favor of getting him.

I am still about as excited about Jason Bay as I am about paint drying but maybe he will change my mind about him. Go ahead, Jason, make people glad you are here even if you aren't. This is a life lesson for you my friend, use an offer from a team you don't want to be on as leverage and watch your options go away. You aren't and never will be A-Rod and your agent is not Scott Boras. This is the thing -- if he truly wanted to stay in Boston, why not accept what the Sox were offering? You don't think Tony Gwynn or Cal Ripken could have gotten bonzo money in NY? They wanted to play in SD and BAL so they did making less than they could have elsewhere. Neither starved to death and both are HOF. The money/years that were not good enough in BOS? He would not have starved and if he proved himself reliable and productive into the final year they would have extended the contract. He only has himself to blame if he is playing in a place he doesn't want to play. And if he acts up, I daresay that Mets fans will make Sox fans look like pussycats.

Schruender said...

It was a good test for him to be in a big market for 15 months and still succeed on the field. That said, the Mets were better off giving their money to Lackey. The hitting can be patched if Wright, Beltran and Reyes stay healthy. The pitching can't be patched together if Johan isn't healthy.

Oh, the pain said...

I agree that this is a good first move the catch the fans' attention. Improving the starting rotation is a necessary follow-up move to quiet the fans and media.

Metstradamus said...

McGee: They're in the owners' suite.

Anonymous said...

4 years is a long time to play in a place u dont like... and remember all u mets fans my phillies are still the NL champs for the past 2 years and we got the best right hander in the game. maybe u guys can win in 7-8 years from now

tommy_calzone said...

I wouldn't worry about him not wanting to be here.

I'm worried about the mets doctors advising surgery at the physical!

I am not excited about this move either. Call me skeptical but the fact Francesa is breaking this news (2 days before the extended deadline for ticket renewals) makes me a more than a little bit wary knowing how this team has operated over the years.

And he sits on this news for 2 days with no one else getting a sniff. This smacks of bad mets PR as usual.

ie: just enough to show we're competitive yet never going for the kill with the player that could put us over the top.

I fear this move was made to appease the sheeple and and that scares me almost as much as bringing back snoop & the gm formerly known as omar.

I do think Bay fits in nicely as a complimentary player if belt,dw,and jose all do their normal thing.

The lineup is becoming pretty righty heavy now, no?

Go get Zambrano AND arroyo & phillips then we'll talk about tickets, Mr ticket sales office calling my house everyday, guy.

tommy_calzone said...

DUDE! You really were on nbcsports.

I guess you don't have to worry about Olberman saying your the worst person in the world now.

I am sure you will sleep better knowing this. Happy New Year.