Wednesday, June 11, 2008

High Speed Fitness

Today, Willie Randolph helped launch Be Fit NYC, a search engine to help New Yorkers find fitness activities wherever they are in the five boroughs.

Meanwhile, in a dark clubhouse, Moises Alou turned to Marlon Anderson and said "You know what Marlon, Willie has a good idea. Let's be fit from now on". Hence, they both returned to active duty today.

(Note: Fluff Castro would have been in that conversation, but he thought Tuesday night's game was 7PM Munich time ... and he also thought it was Monday. So he came to Shea, played, and went home before anyone else even arrived at the park. Castro, somehow, went 0 for 4 in an empty ballpark ... while hitting off a tee. Oh, and he tweaked an imaginary muscle getting thrown out at first base by imaginary fielders while trying to beat out a bunt which, it's worth repeating, came off a tee. If he had "been fit", this would never have happened.)

I wonder if the game in Castro's head was any better than the actual game, a 5-1 Mets lead into a 9-5 Mets loss to Arizona, complete with a rain delay, making sure that fans had to make a choice between leaving during a tie game and making their train and staying until the bitter end. And some made the right choice.

By leaving.

For the rest of us, the Mets have become one of those high speed chases you see on the news every once in a while ... the ones that almost always take place in either Los Angeles or Texas. You're watching it, and you know it's going to end badly for the perp. Because let's face it: once you're on television and the helicopters are following you, you're not getting away. So you know it's going to be a bad ending. But what do you do? You watch anyway. Because you have to know how it's going to end. Will the driver run out of gas and come out peacefully? Will the driver slow down like he's going to surrender and then back up into the police car before speeding away again thinking they're all slick? When the cops stop the perp, will they put a major league beating on them?

At least with the Mets, you know the major league beatings are coming ... every night. But you can't turn away. How will the chase end? Who gets the ultimate beatdown at the end of it all? Willie? The Jacket? Hojo? Omar? Because under the glare of the helicopter that is New York, nobody will get away. They're all on the table for a beatdown at the side of the road. And you and I will have front row seats at our televisions to watch the carnage go down ... all season long.

(Editor's note: Don't expect any help from the minors ... your New Orleans Zephyrs were one-hit by the likes of Brandon Duckworth in a 13-0 loss last night. Great.)

10 comments:

tim said...

I was given tickets to Thursday nights game, I get up at 4:30 am to go to work, is it really worth it?

I haven't been to a game so far this year mostly because of work related exhaustion or lack of funds, but I'm actually debating keeping the tickets and not going to the game as a protest. I once did this when given Yankee tickets, and though I know it doesn't amke a difference, it felt good.

Nah, I'll probably go because I'll feel like my presence is the spark the team has been waiting for to break out of the malaise.

I laugh at the Mutt$ said...

The Mutt$ are a joke! Mutt$ fans are going to go back in hiding! The last time your Mutt$ won anything is when Charles in Charge was the top sitcom on television!

BWAHAHAHAHA! I love it! Go Phillies! Chase Utley is better than reyes and wright combined!

Anonymous said...

Why do you have to put Michael Strahan on your hate list...? No need to be bitter or give in to your "dark chi"....
How was your "beach vacation?"
Beezermess

Timothy said...

Tim - from one Tim to another - Thursday is a day game... I get up at 1am for work - I'll see you there.

Unser said...

Last night had just about every ingredient for a typical Met loss. They scored runs in the first two innings and then stopped - did nothing for the rest of the game. All line drives were hit directly at people. The starter only went five, Willie left Sanchez in too long and the rest of the relief pitching imploded.

At least Wagner helped out the grounds crew.

I'm going tonight - I'm hoping for a 2 hour game (like Sabathia last night), regardless of who wins.

Schneck said...

Yeah, the Castro thing was weird. Strangely I also had my clock set to Munich time and I was there to watch it. I wasn't sure if he had hurt himself trying to beat out the bunt or during the 10 minute arguement that followed with the imaginary ump as Castro thought he was safe.

weesle909 said...

Unser, you forgot one thing:

"The starter only went five, acting again as if he gets paid by the pitch...

Seriously, 101 pitches in 5 innings?! While pitching with a 4 run lead?!

tim said...

Obstacles line the way Tim, I have a work appointment in Manhattan and probably won't make it to the stadium. I'm probably better off.

And from the immortal words of a friend "phillies suck"

Cecilio's Scribe said...

c'mon. "no help from the minors?"
we've got Zephyrs (according to the Daily News) "slugger" Chris Aguila heading to Shea! the 29 yr-old with a lifetime .234 avg.

uhhh, this team simply wears me out. the only good thing...i headed to the subway once the rains came last night. watching the rest of the game predictably unfold at home was torture enough. i have to do this again on friday? really?

/visions of Josh Hamilton drilling Heilman pitch off scoreboard

demitri said...

All this doom and gloom, mention of the apocalypse makes me want to quote my favorite show; "all of this has happened before and I'd will all happen again"

Is a sequel in the works for "the Worst Team Money Can buy"?