Wednesday, November 22, 2006

It Shocks You

On the heels of Justin Morneau's upset victory for the A.L. MVP award, Derek Jeter made a surprise appearance on the "Mike and the Mad Dog" show, mostly for comfort and support. Unfortunately, an ugly episode occurred when a Met fan called in. The crack staff has obtained an exclusive transcript:

Chris Russo: All right Derek let's get to the calls, William from Westchester what's up?

William from Westchester: Hi guys, first time long time.

Mike Francesa: That doesn't impress us. Please direct your question to Mr. Jeter.

WFW: Derek, I know you're broken up over not winning the MVP, but I just wanted to how it feels to be the second best team in town?

Derek Jeter: Shut up! Shut up! Fifty years ago you were at Ebbets Field rooting for the Dodgers where you'd get to the World Series against us every year and we'd shove a proverbial bat up your ass.

WFW: Will you be sending Alex Rodriguez a Christmas card this year?

DJ: You're brave now motherf***er! Hang up on him Mike, he's a MET FAN! He's a MET FAN! He's a MET FAN!

CR: Oh my God.

DJ: Oooooh. Oooooh. Alright. You see? This shocks you.

MF: Yeah, Derek. It shocks you to see what's buried beneath these stupid Met fan motherf***ers!

WFW: That was uncalled for.


DJ: What was uncalled for? It's uncalled for you to sully the same radio space as the real 2006 A.L. MVP by spewing your crap, you cheap Met fan motherf***er!

MF: William, is it too much for you to handle? Derek, they're going to arrest you for calling a caller a Met fan.

WFW: That was uncalled for, you overrated piece of crap!

DJ: You calling me overrated you MET FAN?

WFW: You're not an MVP! That's why you go home early every year and run crying to Mike and the Mad Dog for support! You haven't done anything since 2000! Aaron Boone! That's it!

DJ: Oh, I guess you got me there. Gotta toll on the radio.

WFW: That was uncalled for. That ain't necessary!

MF: Well that's what happens when you interrupt a Yankee, don't you know?

WFW: Uncalled for!

DJ: Well you see, there's those words...those words...

CR: Well, I don't know what to say guys, sorry about that. Let's go to the flash...

Derek Jeter will soon be appearing on The Michael Kay show to apologize.

(Editors disclaimer: This is satire. Derek Jeter is many things, but there is no evidence to suggest that Derek Jeter hates Met fans. William from Westchester does not exist. Any similarities to anybody who lives in Westchester named William is purely coincidental. Mike Francesa would never, ever, curse on the air. And Chris Russo would never be this quiet. Happy Thanksgiving.)

12 comments:

Mike said...

Pretty clever, man.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving.

ryanr said...

Hey, great post Metstra, do u know whether chavez and feliciano are signed through next season? I thought they had one-year deals??

Metstradamus said...

My guess is:

Chavez: signed through '07
Feliciano: free agent.

I'm not 100% sure.

jdon said...

yes, I heard that broadcast too. I cannot tell you how tickled I was for Derek, coming in second and all. It is about time the man who invented intangibles got some recognition.

tobedetermined said...

Re: Chavez and Feliciano

Neither is signed for 2007, but neither has enough major league service time to be a free agent. So the Mets still control them for next year.

Chavez is eligible for arbitration. I believe Feliciano is still in the category where he has to take whatever the team wants to pay him.

Re: Jeter Interview

Hilarious.

Sean Holihan said...

Jeter interview: funny as hell.

Still trying to figure out your hate list for the 19th....John Goodman, Murray and Belushi?

pkstudios said...

That's it, man. You're going be hearing from my lawyer, Gloria Allred.

"Oil I ask is for moy cloyents to get an apology, man to man, from Mistah Jetah, oar, failing that, ten million dollahs each. Oi'm a true believah in social justice. And milking every opportunity for as much cash as possible."

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!!!

Fatt Lipp said...

Your usual brilliance.

Jeterboy said...

Mike and the Mad Dog are horrible. I tried listening to them years ago and just gave up. Francesa is arrogant as hell and Russo's voice is so annoying.

As far as Jeter goes, every team would love to have a guy like him. He's a World Series MVP, All-Star MVP, gold glover, playoff clutch hitter, and has helped lead his team to 4 World Titles, 6 pennants, and over a decade of playoff appearances (most of which were done before the Yanks started to break the bank). Morneau is more than deserving and there is no complaint there. However, I believe that some of the recent Jeter criticism is unwarranted. He carries himself in a dignified way and represents what a true Yankee captain should be. I think responsibility for babying A-Rod primarily lies with the manager.

Remember back at the beginning of the decade when people were arguing A-Rod, Jeter, or Garciapara? Well, here we are years later and I can tell you if you most people would take Jeter if you look at regular season and post-season stats.

Clutch hits and money players don't grow on trees. The Mets could have used someone like Jeter in the 9th inning of Game 7 against the Cardinals. The Mets would be in the World Series if they did. Jeter is the only one of the three above you'd hit in that situation I can tell you. And not MVP Beltran with his three looks.

albertsonmets said...

The Yankees sure could have used someone like Jeter against Detroit.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how he who shall not be named feels about the vote. Oddly quiet over there.