Author! Author!

It was noted during a recent Mets game that somebody was writing a book about the bizarre game that took place on July 4th of '85. Surely you remember it as the 19 inning debacle that ended near 4AM down in Atlanta.

If I were to write a book about a particular baseball game, I might choose Livan Hernandez's complete game from Monday night.

Seriously.

First off, all the really good and important games are probably taken by established (good) writers. Second, there were so many layers to this seemingly run of the mill 6-1 victory that it fascinated my warped mind. It's like an onion that only makes you cry if you're a Nationals fan. For example: You might have been all jazzed up about the debut of one Fernando Martinez. But I was greeted by the news that the Mets had traded for Wilson Valdez! OMG! Wilson Valdez!!! I've gotta get on the horn and call 718-507-TIXX! Our savior is here! Wilson Valdez!!!

Then I asked, who the hell is Wilson Valdez?

A healthy shortstop? Good enough. I'll take it and be excited about it.

Of course, the news wasn't so much that we have Valdez and Martinez, but that Jose Reyes and Ryan Church actually made their way to the disabled list. Omar Minaya doing right by the roster is a huge twist in the plot, and a breath of fresh air for Snoop Manuel. And ... Wilson Valdez! The cynic in you might say that your hopes for a new shortstop were low (a decent fielding .200 hitter in the majors) and that they weren't even met (a decent fielding .110 hitter in AAA). But a shortstop who doesn't have an issue with a bum calf or a torn thumb or a freaking hernia is at a premium here these days. So, I choose to be excited for Wilson Valdez.

But I'm burying the lead here ... which is the debut of Fernando Martinez, who went 0 for 3 with an RBI fielders choice on Monday. Certainly an inauspicious beginning for the jewel of the minor leagues. But his first major league RBI is nothing to sneeze at. (I will say this: We've gotta find a halfway decent nickname for this guy. Putting aside the increasingly lazy way we come up with nicknames these days: First initial of first name, first part of last name, like A-Rod, "F-Mart" sounds like an obscene grocery store. "Welcome to F-Mart ... Where You Can Go F&*k Yourself!")

It is strange that in a game that a great hitting prospect makes his debut, a pitcher gets his first major league hit. But Craig Stammen's single ended in a putout of home, so Stammen might be the first player to get his first ever hit and not get to keep the ball. Seriously, how often does this happen?

Furthermore, how often is there a game where beanballs are traded (Jason Bergmann hits Fernando Tatis after Gary Sheffield's game deciding home run during a case of wildness, and Livan hits Justin Maxwell in what may or may not have been retaliation), and noted hothead Julian Tavarez isn't involved? And he was in the game not long after that? Now seriously, how often does that happen?

Of course, the focus would be Livan and his complete game which is the very reason the Mets got him ... to give a breather to the bullpen every now and again. He's done it two straight ... with a seven inning effort against L.A., and the CG on Monday night. Put that against the backdrop of Ryan Zimmerman's on-base streak, which was at 43 games before he ran into Livan (another layer for the book). Now put that against the backdrop of Oliver Perez. At the same time Hernandez was chugging along, Oliver was showing the fans of Buffalo what they've been missing with the big club ... namely: 5 walks in four and a third innings against the likes of Pablo Ozuna.

Instead, the Mets got Hernandez's 127 pitch outing, and the revelation after the game that he's a thinker. The thoughts that went through his head pitching against the Nationals lineup is enough for a book all on it's own.

Hopefully, the book I eventually do write will be better than the piece of unmitigated crap I just pitched to America. But speaking of pitches, I pitch to you some post game analysis from yours truly tomorrow on NY Sportstalk Live between 9-11 on Wednesday night (most likely soon after the ball game). It's like a bonus blog.

Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, Oh What A Disgrace It Is!

All you need to know about today's 1-0 loss to the Washington Nationals is that before the game, there were some free giveaways to be had outside Shea. Were they fun things like free gum, or powdered iced tea samples? Guess again.

That's right: Alka Seltzer.

Is this a team that knows its fan base or is this a team that knows its fan base?

Because somehow they knew that we'd need it today. Somehow, they knew that Mike Pelfrey was going to no-hit the Nationals for six innings (until Aaron Flippin' Boone struck again) and yet still be denied of a victory. They knew that the Mets lineup was going to accelerate the rehabilitation of Jason Bergmann, making his first start since going on the disabled list this season with an ERA of 11.68.

Let me repeat that because I find it vaguely important:

ELEVEN FLIPPIN' POINT SIXTY FLIPPIN' EIGHT!!!

They knew that Jose Reyes, whose baseball IQ is dropping by the minute, would try to take third base on a Luis Castillo sacrifice bunt, thinking that Ryan Zimmerman was too far off the bag covering the bunt to get back to third ... only to look like a defensive back burned by the touchdown combination of Aaron Boone to Cristian Guzman. Or was that Tony Romo to Terrell Owens?

They knew that Willie Harris was going to continue to try to muscle his way into the pantheon of Met killers solely on defensive efforts. Remember last season when Harris stole a win for the Braves against Carlos Delgado? Remember last night's great defensive play too? He did it again today with a diving catch down the left field line for the first out in the ninth inning off the bat of Ryan Church.

They knew that Carlos Beltran was going to break for home on a Carlos Delgado line out to first base with one out, leaving him a dead duck ... somehow ... on a throw across the diamond to end the game on an inexplicable double play. (What was that I was saying about baseball IQ?) You know, the thing that the Mets had in abundance two seasons ago, but seems to be lacking with pretty much the same group of players two seasons later? Has everybody gone senile?

No, they've just gone crazy ... at least Billy Wagner did after the game at a group of reporters:

"Wagner looked over toward the area of first baseman Carlos Delgado's locker and blurted: "Someone tell me why the (expletive) you're talking to the closer. I didn't even play. They're over there, not being interviewed. ... I got it. They're gone. (Expletive) shocker."

So here's the deal with this: First, Wagner goes postal on Oliver Perez. Then, Willie Randolph says "oh, no no no no no no no no no no no, we need to keep those things in house." Sure, leave it to the leader, right? One voice representing the club, right? Except that last night, where was Willie Randolph when Moises Alou was getting ejected by Dana DeMuth? I'll tell you where he was: He was on the top step of the dugout under the false impression that everybody was going to be impressed and taken aback with how stoic he is and how cool and calm he is. Willie thought that DeMuth was going to reflect on what a bad thing he did making Willie stand still and seethe for five seconds.

Wrong.

So today, with Randolph obviously unwilling to take a bullet for his players (see: Marlon Anderson getting suspended for a game last season because Randolph couldn't get his stoic butt out to the field to defend him), of course Billy Wagner is going to pop off. Because nobody else obviously will!!! So in that respect, when Wagner rips his 'mates, he may be ripping his manager in the process whether he realizes it or not.

Look, you guys and girls have read me long enough to know the way I feel: that unless the manager is of the Art Howe naptime variety, it's generally the players who win and lose ballgames. I still feel that way. But when Billy Wagner is continuously popping off and feeling as if he's the one that has to stir things up and bring things to light in the clubhouse, that's an indictment of the manager. No, I don't expect Randolph to kick a chair or turn over a buffet table for the pure sake of doing it. Grown men see through that. But going out to cause a ruckus with an umpire to defend your player is something different. Players notice that, both ways. And heaven help me for what I'm about to say, but here goes: how do you think Bobby Cox has lasted so long? I'll tell you how: His players love him! And part of the reason is that he'll defend them even if they don't deserve defending!

Think about it: Besides the little school girl fight that Larry Jones and John Smoltz had recently, how many times have you seen the Bobby Cox led Braves go through something like that? Now how many times have you seen it in the Mets clubhouse in the last two weeks? With a manager, it's worth noting, who was tough when it came to no beards in the clubhouse three years ago, and now only seems to be tough on Oliver Perez?

I've held off as long as I could. I tried and I tried and I tried. But it's time for me to acknowledge that today might be the first day of the rest of Willie Randolph's life. Nobody in that clubhouse has said anything bad publicly about Willie's managing. I'm not even going to assume that anybody is even thinking anything bad about Randolph. But actions, as you well know, speak louder than words and thoughts. The actions I saw today tell me that a new voice needs to speak louder than Willie Randolph is willing to speak.

Maybe it's time to take that Alka Seltzer to neutralize this sick feeling I have about this team. That and the bucket of chicken wings from the Diamond Club today. Plop plop, fizz fizz ...

Benefitting From The Wildness Of Others

The ball wasn't even in the glove when Gary Cohen bellowed "ball four" to signal the completion of the comeback against the Chicago Cubs...as if there was any other way that game could end after Michael Wuertz couldn't find the plate against Endy Chavez and Carlos Beltran (don't let the "intentional walk" on the stat sheet fool you, that Beltran walk was three balls and a white flag).

Carlos Delgado, who I'm sure was tempted to either ground a ball to the left side or lay down a bunt to send a message regarding the "Delgado shift", instead did the sensible thing and worked out a walk (off win) against Wuertz to put the seal-a-meal on a 5-4 victory, and their return to first place (thank you, Jason Bergmann).

Tom Glavine wasn't sharp in seeking victory number 295, giving up a single to Jason Marquis drove home that point along with two runs. But the Mets bullpen outperformed the Cubs bullpen, as not only did Wuertz give it away in the ninth, but they roughed up a guy who's ice cream I bought over the weekend.

Rocky Cherry?

There's a name that's about as ill-advised as the plot line that had Florence date Bentley in the later seasons of The Jeffersons.

Yeah, that show was put to rest a little late. Here's what else is put to rest: talk of David Wright's slump. Wright is hitting .429 since May 7th, which just happens to be the day that Wright shaved his head and had the rest of the team shave theirs!!! So when you're looking for the turning point in the young man's season...

(Well, not really. Wright actually shaved his head on May 8th...but this is what's known as poetic license, which is what major networks like FOX will take when trying to come up with storylines for the turning point of David Wright's slump come October...because come on, you don't really expect the network to mention the Mets and their shaved heads before Saturday's telecast of Mets/Yankees? They're working on their six minute Matt DeSalvo piece as we speak!)