Monday, September 14, 2009

Play 'Em Off, Petey

I can't think of a more fitting ending to this stupid season.

The Mets' official elimination from the playoffs was not a matter of if ... only a matter of when, and how. Would the official death of the 2009 Mets be laid at the feet of another missed base? Another dropped pop-up? Another unassisted triple play? For any other franchise, it would have been bizarre. For the Mets? Cliche.

No, this needed not the bizarre, but something spectacular that was in the stars all along. It had to be Pedro. It had to be Pedro reaching back to his Expo days, throwing eight blank frames in 130 pitches, completing a doubleheader sweep. It was something he hadn't done in eight years. It had to be Pedro, Met hat still on his head as you refreshed the Yahoo boxscore to show you that a guy wearing a Met hat was pitching to another guy in another Met hat.

The Mets have been bum rushed by just about everybody this season, from Ryan Howard to Joel Pineiro to Rodrigo Lopez, and everyone in between. But with the Mets at their last breath, and a throng of thugs ready to deliver the final punch, they all stepped aside to let the former associate do the final deed. Take the gun, Petey ... do the honors.

While I will not sit here and tell you that this game was proof that the Mets should have signed Petey this season, it is the perfect cherry to top this torturous sundae of a season ... listening to Philadelphia Phillie fans chant "Let's Go Pedro". My hope is that the owners of this team, who are probably off toasting their new ballpark at a swanky lounge at this hour just as they foolishly bragged about their new ballpark mere hours after the Mets were eliminated in 2008, are locked in a room and made to watch this broadcast over and over again until their eyes bleed.

And the sound has to be up. They have to listen to those Phillie fans. They have to listen to Joe Morgan morph into Nipsey Russell with his stupid poetry. And they have to hear Steve Phillips wonder if Pedro was going to come out for the ninth inning after a pinch hitter was already announced. Eyes open, ears open ... for the entire three hours. Multiple times a day, until their sufficiently tortured, or at least as tortured as I am at this hour.

The only hope now for the Mets to get themselves a World Series trophy is to have Kanye West storm the October podium and steal it.

There's nothing left to do but play 'em off. Oh, Keyboard Cat ...


Unser said...

Well put.

When was the last time you saw a Met exact sweet revenge on his former team? I'm thinking Piazza in '99 against the Dodgers - ten freaking years ago.

And you'd think that Pedro could reprise his performance in 2007 at Fenway. You know, when he got lit up and said he wasn't really interested in his pitching performance, since he was so moved by the fans' reaction. No chance of that happening with the Mets.

But at least he feels sorry for us.

Lisa Swan said...

Good summary. The only thing I would add is Jon Miller constantly overpronouncing Carlos Beltran's name as BELL-TRON.

Schneck said...

There's no need to hate on Nipsey.

We are all bitter after this season
But Nipsey Russell's not the reason!

Metstradamus said...

Yes ... Miller's done that for so long that's almost an afterthought. If he didn't do it, I'd worry. Joe Morgan's poetry is a new one though. That killed me. They've all become caricatures of themselves in that booth.

Metstradamus said...

I love Nipsey. Loved him on Match Game. Watched him many years.

You ... Joe Morgan ... are no Nipsey Russell.

kjs said...

Thank dog for the NFL.

Thank dog the buses at Giants Stadium are so messed up due to construction of PSL Stadium I missed the game. Not that I was going to watch.

So the $54M bugger who gave us plenty of self-centered drama and a game-start record of 39-40 over four bloody years and still wanted a nice little payoff for three years of nada zilch nil shut out a minor league team standing in for the 2009 NY Mets for 8 innings.

Big deal.

I'm just waiting for Carlos Beltran to say: "I signed with the Mets because I was enthralled to play with the Bugger."

Or Delgado.

Or Santana.

I'm so tired of the Bugger getting props for restoring the team. The fans' wallets did. The Wilpons--when they had a wallet---did. And the Bugger didn't even chill with the team when they clinched in 2006. Bugger's a gem, eh?

And the Bugger went from being a respectably paid whore to a cheap one for the most psychotic and violent set of frontrunners in the history of sports.

And unlike other Mets fans, I'm proud to say I have no mixed feelings.

And he can shove his pity up his rooster-torturing arse.

Anonymous said...