Agent Johnny

Do you know why I love Gilbert Arenas?

Because not only does the man they call "Agent Zero" go out and call his shots by predicting a 50 point game here and there, but he brings attention to himself in a humble, thoughtful way, and doesn't take himself too, too seriously.

But the man is driven. He calls his 50 point games against teams with coaches that snubbed him for the Olympic team. It's all in fun, but it's refreshing to see a professional athlete expose his motivation and have fun doing it. I don't really follow the NBA as much as I used to (partly because I'm a Celtic fan and there's only so many bad moves by Danny Ainge that I can take these days), but I know Gilbert Arenas because of his brash predictions, and because of his great blog.

In that spirit, I will say that John Maine needs to start a blog. He needs to come out and say that he is going to make it a personal mission to find out which coaches, and which players threw their votes to other pitchers for next week's all-star game with bigger names and less of a 2007 resume, and throw complete games and shutouts and no-hitters against these managers, players, and their teams for the rest of his career. And he should start a blog. He should start a blog to draw a little attention to himself. Heck, David Wright did it, and that's a guy who doesn't need the attention. John Maine, as evidenced by being shut out of the game for pitchers with more cache, obviously needs the attention. Because ten wins is obviously not going to do it.

Roy Oswalt made the all-star team in place of the injured John Smoltz, because Smoltz was a players' choice, and by rule if a players choice misses the game due to injury, the players with the next highest amount of players' votes goes in his place. You know Oswalt's stats, and you know Maine's stats. So obviously the players got it wrong. So where are the bushels of articles telling us how major league baseball players don't know how to pick an all-star team? I mean, every time the fans get one wrong because of the popularity of a player, everybody writes about how the fans should have their votes taken away, because baseball fans are an easy target. Well where are all these writers when the players obviously vote wrong, or vote for a more popular player rather than a player's body of work throughout the first half of the season...you know, the supposed criteria for making the all-star team?

Perhaps I shouldn't complain. After all, one could say that the only reason David Wright is the all-star starter is because he has more fans and plays in a market with a more rabid fan base than the third baseman who has better batting numbers than Wright, which is Miguel Cabrera. (although Wright has closed the once wide gap considerably in the last six weeks, and he does lead in steals, 18-0). But at least the players and managers get a chance to right that wrong. Who gets to check on mistakes that the players and Tony La Russa make?

Oh sure. Maine, if asked, would probably come out and say that it doesn't matter to him, and that all that counts is the team and their success. Cool. Not gonna argue with that. But how much fun is that, really? If John Maine came out and said that he's going to stick it to any and all that snubbed him for an all-star berth to a reporter, it would be a big controversy. But if he did it in a blog, he'd be eccentric and fun loving, like Gilbert Arenas. Where else but in the blog community can you say off the wall things and not be put in the looney bin for them? How do you think I've lasted this long without a trip to Bellevue?

And maybe he actually did pitch near flawless baseball for seven and 2/3's on Thursday because having Oswalt in the opposing dugout gave him his motivation. Then again, perhaps not. But where's the fun in that? How about a high hard one thrown towards the heads of everyone in the National League, in the form of a blog entry? Think about it, Agent Johnny...a blog called "Maine Attraction".

What? It's already taken? "Maine Street" is taken too? All right, we'll work on something together. Have your people call mine.