All You Mets Look Alike

Here's how bad it's been for the Mets this season: MLB Network, in hyping Friday night's start by Bobby Parnell, used a picture of Matt DeSalvo and called him Parnell.

Being mistaken for Matt DeSalvo when you haven't even made two starts in your career is a hell of an early time to hit rock bottom professionally.

With nowhere to go but up, Parnell fired six shutout innings and beat the Giants 3-0.

I guess when you wear throwback uniforms that throw back to a time and a place that never existed, and you take the names off the back of the uniforms, they all look alike anyway.

It's all right though. Because it's nothing compared to what ESPN did:


For the record, it took Parnell's grandmother to point out the mistake to MLB Network. So here now is the real Bobby Parnell with the real Bobby Parnell's grandmother:

Hey, The Mets Signed An Outfielder With Distinctive Hair!

No, not that outfielder with distinctive hair.

Yeah, it's a minor league deal for Sideshow Bobby Kielty. There's your low end righty, kids.

I kinda dig him off the bench. I just hope he doesn't scare the children with that hair. Because as you know, it's all about the children.

The Mets also signed former Yankee Matt DeSalvo, who had a 31.50 ERA last season with Atlanta. I've had dinner bills at fancy restaurants lower than 31.50. Awesome. There's a signing that has all the excitement of a Citi Field commemorative patch.

I miss Brandon Knight already.

Benefitting From The Wildness Of Others

The ball wasn't even in the glove when Gary Cohen bellowed "ball four" to signal the completion of the comeback against the Chicago Cubs...as if there was any other way that game could end after Michael Wuertz couldn't find the plate against Endy Chavez and Carlos Beltran (don't let the "intentional walk" on the stat sheet fool you, that Beltran walk was three balls and a white flag).

Carlos Delgado, who I'm sure was tempted to either ground a ball to the left side or lay down a bunt to send a message regarding the "Delgado shift", instead did the sensible thing and worked out a walk (off win) against Wuertz to put the seal-a-meal on a 5-4 victory, and their return to first place (thank you, Jason Bergmann).

Tom Glavine wasn't sharp in seeking victory number 295, giving up a single to Jason Marquis drove home that point along with two runs. But the Mets bullpen outperformed the Cubs bullpen, as not only did Wuertz give it away in the ninth, but they roughed up a guy who's ice cream I bought over the weekend.

Rocky Cherry?

There's a name that's about as ill-advised as the plot line that had Florence date Bentley in the later seasons of The Jeffersons.

Yeah, that show was put to rest a little late. Here's what else is put to rest: talk of David Wright's slump. Wright is hitting .429 since May 7th, which just happens to be the day that Wright shaved his head and had the rest of the team shave theirs!!! So when you're looking for the turning point in the young man's season...

(Well, not really. Wright actually shaved his head on May 8th...but this is what's known as poetic license, which is what major networks like FOX will take when trying to come up with storylines for the turning point of David Wright's slump come October...because come on, you don't really expect the network to mention the Mets and their shaved heads before Saturday's telecast of Mets/Yankees? They're working on their six minute Matt DeSalvo piece as we speak!)