Thursday, December 17, 2009

We Interrupt The Mets Cold Stove Season To Bring You ...

I am contractually obligated to tell you that the Mets have signed Ryota Igarashi. I don't know who he is. But from all I've read about him I can tell you who he's not: The Greg Maddux of Japan like Satoru Komiyama was. Or the Tom Glavine of Japan, the Steve Carlton of Japan or even the Danny Graves of Japan. He hasn't been compared to anybody to get our hopes up so they can mercilessly be torn down at the first home run he gives up to Chase Utley.



For those who can't convert kilometers to miles in their head, he throws about 93 in the above clip. And as you can see he wears number 53, just like our manager Chuckles. I hope Snoop gives up 53 because he really doesn't need to wear a number.

Comedy for his jokes, tragedy for when he gets fired after bringing Igarashi in at the wrong time, or for bringing him in 16 straight days until his arm falls off, then leaving him in the back of the bullpen to play Clue with Sean Green for a month. Yeah, this oughta work out well.

***

Oh by the way, when the Mets put in the new plasma replacement booth next to the Shake Shack, I hope they paint it blue and orange. There's nothing worse than not recognizing your history when you're hawking platelets that are sponsored by Verizon.

6 comments:

Schneck said...

I love your idea for Manuel's new uniform but may be we can have a smiling Omar next to a sad looking Jeffy instead. Also, my word verification word is 'spermol.' I'm afraid to look it up.

Schruender said...

Why not grab the woman that throws the sidearm knuckler while they're at it. She's been compared to Michelle Wie. At least we have something to go on with that one...

Unser said...

Man, that was biting. Funny, but biting.

"Chuckles" made me chuckle out loud. Is that the first time you've used that?

Does this new Japanese guy have "the funk" that our last Japanese reliever had?

Mark my words: after the Mets lose out on Bay (who doesn't want to come to NY) and Holliday, they do something stupid and sign Damon for three years.

FeceMcGee said...

...OR they can sign this chick

FeceMcGee said...

(oops forgot to post link to video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSPw_9GX9HI

Hazeleyes said...

Who is he? I have read reports that the mets have been interested in him for the past 2 years. Never heard of him. And let's face it, the Mets have not had outstanding success with any of their direct from Japan acquisitions.